Episode 508: 5 Things to Stop Doing for Greater Happiness and Success (Mindset & Self-Care)

EBT508 – Stop Doing These

Intro  00:01

Hey food bloggers. Thank you so much for joining me in this mindset and self-care focused episode here on Eat Blog Talk. One of the reasons I started a blog talk was to hold a space to talk about the importance of mindset and self-care. Being an entrepreneur can be a lot. If we are not taking care of ourselves, then getting actionable information about SEO Pinterest or whatever else is all moot. I will meet you back here every Wednesday to discuss various mindset and self-care topics. So you have the energy and space to tackle the rest.

Sponsor (Ella Gilbert ) 00:37

Hi, food bloggers, its Ella from Alpine Ella. Picture this food photography and blog posts without the hassle. That’s where I come in. I offer food photography and blog post writing services tailored just for you. Email me at [email protected]. And let’s chat about how I can bring value to your business.

Megan Porta  00:59

Hi, food bloggers welcome to another episode that is focusing on self-care and mindset here on Eat Blog Talk. So happy you’re listening today. In this episode, we are going to talk about five things to stop doing for greater success and happiness.

Megan Porta  01:16

I think there are so many things that we aren’t even aware that we’re doing on a regular basis that hold us back from happiness and success. And sometimes we just need a little reminder that we’re doing these things we might not even know it in order to make us aware. So consider this episode, your friendly reminder, this all is delivered with love, of course, that you might need to evaluate some things that you are doing that aren’t serving your life in the best way. I’m really hoping this episode will help to snap some of us into a new level of awareness. And this definitely includes myself, I am not exempt from any of this just so you know. So let’s talk through five things to stop doing for greater happiness and success.

Megan Porta  02:14

Number one, making excuses. For the longest time, I was an excuse maker. I was not necessarily making excuses to others, although that did happen. But mostly just making excuses to myself. There was always a reason I wasn’t achieving this or finding peace or oh my gosh, fill in the blank. I remember when our boys were little, I was making excuses in my head and probably to my husband as well about why things weren’t getting done or why it was okay that I was tired all the time, or why it was fine not to exercise or to have a morning routine or to take care of myself. And I just accepted that none of that could happen because we had kids. This was 100% an excuse. I 100% acknowledge that having little kids is very tiring. It can be brutally tiring and painful at times. But so can NOT taking care of myself, right. I remember hearing this line on a podcast years ago, I think it was around 2018 I don’t remember the podcasts that I heard this on. But this line stuck with me and is still with me today. It went something like, what pain is greater. Doing the thing that feels really hard and painful. Or the pain of not doing the thing. That line pulled me right into an awareness that I had been making excuses about so many things my life. Since then I just really try to be aware as much as I can about the excuses that I’m making. And of course excuses creep in. It’s part of being a human, I think. I think I’ve just gotten better at calling it out and being aware of it. So if you are a person who tends to make excuses, that’s where you start, you just start with awareness. Maybe you are making excuses about something related to work like not starting a project or not completing a project, or not reaching out to someone you want to collaborate with, or not prioritizing something that you should be in your business. Or maybe it’s more personal like you’re not prioritizing someone that you love. Or maybe it’s similar to what I was making excuses about and you’re just saying that you don’t have time for a morning routine. Or you don’t have time for self care. You don’t have time to take care of yourself. Whatever it is make the decision to be aware of those excuses and then work to stop them success and most importantly happiness our way, waiting for you on the other side of your excuses. 

Megan Porta  05:03

Number two, letting fear run your life. Fear it is that thing that seems to follow us around. And it’s also that thing that holds us back from accomplishing so much. Most importantly, it holds us back from experiencing happiness. I feel fear all the time. I think a lot of us do, especially as entrepreneurs, fear can creep into so many corners of our businesses and lives. There’s so much opportunity for it with all the things that we have going on.

Megan Porta  05:40

This is a topic I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, because for most of my life, even though it feels like I have felt more fear than most people, from my perspective anyway, I also tend to just do the scary things anyway. So I’ve been thinking lately, why is this? Why have I been equipped with this ability to just do the scary things because when I say that, I feel fear more than most people. I am telling you, I feel scared a lot of the time. My mom often told me when she was alive, what an incredibly fearful child I was, I was afraid of everything. As a kid, you guys, I was afraid that storms were going to come wreck our house when there wasn’t a cloud around. I was afraid of my grandma. Not kidding you. She was the sweetest lady. And I remember being afraid of her. I was afraid of talking to humans, until I was probably 15 years old. Fear has truly been a part of my life in a really intense way. My parents got divorced when I was really young, and my mom moved across the country. So I spent a lot of my childhood, actually, all of my childhood from that point on flying back and forth between my mom and my dad. So from the time I was eight years old, up until I was an adult, I would have to get on a plane by myself and fly across the country. Most of the time I had layover so I would have to navigate through airports with a little help from airport staff and get on a new plane. And yeah, just get to the parent that I was heading toward. When I think about that. That was a lot for a kid. It was especially a lot for a fearful kid. I can remember being so afraid during those journeys from my mom and my dad and my dad back to my mom, worrying about getting lost in an airport, having a stranger take advantage of me I was really little traveling alone. And that’s a really scary thing. But I think that having to do that for so many years, really served me because it forced me to work past my fears. My fear didn’t go away. I remember being afraid during that whole period of childhood. But I didn’t have a choice. My mom put me in the airport and I had to get on the plane and I had to figure it out. I pushed past my fears every single time I had to do that.

Megan Porta  08:31

 Then I have this memory of doing something that was really scary to me when I was a young adult. It was after I had graduated from college. I needed a source of income. But I only had a limited time. It was one winter. I was staying with my sister and she lived right next to a ski resort. I’ve been skiing since I was a kid so I was a really solid skier. And I knew if they could just see me ski that the ski resort would give me a job as a ski instructor. I had no prior training as a ski instructor. I hadn’t skied in quite a few years, but I was super confident in my ability. So I remember walking in to the ski instructor section of this resort and asking for a job with no prior experience being an instructor. I didn’t know anybody at the resort. I was freaking out. I walked in I remember I was shaking and sweating. I was so nervous and scared. And I really had no business asking for a job. I told them that I had grown up skiing that I was a really solid skier. I needed a job for the winter. And he pretty much hired me on the spot, pushing through that fear paid off because I got a job for the winter. I loved that job. I loved the people I worked with I still have friendships from that job. I improved my skiing skills, I helped so many people learn how to ski that year. And that turned into multiple seasons of doing this. Even when I had a full-time job, I would do this part time for a handful of years. It kept me outside in the winter and enjoying winter in Minnesota. It kept me active, it was such a good thing for my soul. And not only was it good for my soul, but it gave me so much confidence to keep doing scary things. Because I knew there was reward on the other side. That event was huge for me, because that sent me into a little bit of a spiral of just doing more and more scary things. A few years after that, I started skydiving, which I think, induces fear in most people when you just mention the word. So many good things came to my life after skydiving, I had the hugest boost of confidence, and energy and lifelong friendships, just because I decided to take that first leap from the airplane. Oh, and I might want to mention that my husband came from skydiving, so huge reward there, and the amazing children and life that we have. 

Megan Porta  11:24

So the proof is in the pudding, for me: doing scary things pays off in huge dividends, I almost want to get emotional right now. Because thinking back over just the handful of scary things that I’ve mentioned here that I pushed past and did. So many good things have come into my life because of them. I can’t imagine how my life would look if I hadn’t shown up that day at the ski resort and insisted that I have a job. And I cannot imagine if I had not decided to jump out of an airplane for the first time, I would have a completely different life. So stop allowing fear to run your life. Fear will always have a place in your life and in my life. But it does not have to be the boss. The next time you feel it, stop and acknowledge it. And then do what you have to do to push through it. Even if you’re shaking and sweating. Do it anyway, because you are the boss. Success and happiness await your boldness. 

Megan Porta  12:28

Number three, caring what others think. As a kid, again, and for a lot of my life, actually, I have cared a lot about what others think of me. I have always seen myself as being a kind person and honest person, a smart person. And I’ve always wanted this to align with what others think about me. And when it doesn’t, it’s kind of devastating, like how could this happen? How could they not see what I see about myself? And then the spiral starts I start overthinking I start the anxiety, what could I have done better? How can I change? How can I get them to like me? This is something that I am constantly working on. As long as we are acting in alignment with our values and who we truly are and how we want to treat people doesn’t really matter what other people think of us? I don’t think so. It’s only been very recently that I have made progress in this area. I think with just interacting so much with people on a weekly and daily basis. I came to this point where I had to force myself to stop caring what other people thought about me so dang much. Because if I didn’t I literally be a mess constantly. I used to ruminate over every human interaction I had. And this was not too long ago. I think I said the wrong thing. What did they think about that dumb story I told? Did I talk too much? Did I not talk enough? What if they don’t like that I mentioned that about myself or whatever. Oh my gosh, on and on and on. So out of necessity because of my work. This just couldn’t go on. It had to stop. Now on my best days, I flick all cares out the window, knowing that I’ve shown up with integrity and kindness. And just being myself. I’ve just started to own that like, I am me. I showed up as me and that is enough.

Megan Porta  14:35

On my bad days and I definitely have bad days. I have to stop and have a conversation with myself. I can usually pull myself out of it just by saying what I’ve said here, Stop. You are you you showed up as you now move on. And some days I do spiral still, but I’m making progress all the time. If this is something you struggle with my best advice, because I am very well versed in this area is to do things that help you build confidence in yourself. Over time, you will start to own you and who you are. And you’ll start caring less about what others think of you. If I can make progress in this area, you can too, I promise, this is going to open up space for you to find success in your life and business and increase your happiness. 

Megan Porta  15:30

Number four, not taking action. Inaction is probably the biggest hindrance to success. This is from my perspective, as someone who talks to a lot of entrepreneurs, I hear a lot of people say that they just don’t know how or don’t want to take action. It is so easy and so comfortable to not take action, inaction is easy peasy. And action can be so hard. The law of inertia states that an object in motion stays in motion, and an object at rest stays at rest. I think of this simple law all the time. On those days when I just don’t feel like doing anything. I can literally be a blob all day long. Then what happens I get down on myself, I wonder what’s wrong with me. I certainly don’t make any progress toward any of my goals. Sometimes I can pull myself out of this just by thinking about the law of inertia. One tiny action can snowball into a day of productivity. One tiny sock thrown into the washing machine can turn into a whole load of laundry done, folded and put away. One sentence typed out on my computer can turn into an entire blog post published. One file open on my computer can turn into a two hour project completed, those little acts can turn into serious momentum and progress. So know, this inaction is the antithesis of success and happiness and have awareness about when you don’t want to take action. So stopping in your tracks and just seeing, Okay, I am not wanting to take action right now. Then you act even if you don’t want to and even if it is just a teensy tiny step, because that small step will pull you closer to your goals, accelerating success and making you a happier human. 

Megan Porta  17:39

Number five overthinking if there’s any point in this episode that I am the reigning queen of it is this one I can overthink with the best of them. I am telling you. This point is very closely tied to the caring what others think point but extends to all areas of life. Again, relating to my work. I have to stop myself from doing this because due to the work I do if I don’t stop myself from overthinking, I would literally be doing it all hours of the day. And all hours of the night. Food bloggers have a lot on their plates, as you know, which can lead to massive amounts of overthinking. At some point, we just have to turn it off to retain sanity. overthinking is a killer for happiness and achieving your goals. It’s clutter that does not need to be there. I’ll mention just a few things that have helped me to greatly reduce my overthinking tendencies. The first thing is mindfulness. Just being mindful of the present moment. Even if I can just do it for a minute or two really snaps me out of overthinking this might sound just super simplistic, but just stopping in the moment when you know what’s happening. I’m overthinking, what am I going to do? Just stop and observe something around you what is in your room, what’s in your field of vision, what’s going on outside, be aware of it for as long as you can. And be mindful of that moment. At first, it might just be 10 seconds that you’re able to do this, but build up your stamina with it. And eventually you’ll be able to do it for longer and over time, you’re going to find that you’re overthinking less because when you are truly in a moment, you’re not thinking so that means you’re not overthinking. 

Megan Porta  17:39

Something else I do to stop my overthinking tendencies is to sit down and just start journaling. Leaving it on paper is so powerful. It’s like you’re pulling all of the thoughts from your brain, putting it on the paper and just leaving it there. And you don’t have to sit down with the perfect journal prompts or anything like that. Just open a doc on your computer and just start writing what’s on your mind. Get it all out and write for as long as you need to until you feel like it’s all dumped out. And this one relates kind of to the mindfulness. Sometimes I just need to stop, like, just stop and start something different. This also sounds really simplistic, but it’s like you’re just pressing a giant stop button, you know what you’re doing, you’re aware of it. Just stop and start something different. start focusing on gratitude, for example. What are you really grateful for in this moment? What are you grateful for today? Let that refresh you and start a new moment without overthinking. And the other thing that really helps me is sleep, this isn’t something that can be taken care of immediately. But when I am not getting enough rest, I am so much more prone to being an over thinker. And I’ve gotten to the point where I’m really aware of this. So if I can pinpoint okay, I’m overthinking because I didn’t sleep well last night, that I know that maybe I need to take a power nap, or I need to go to bed earlier that night. So I feel better the next day. For me, there’s a direct correlation between not getting enough sleep and overthinking. And I just want to say if you consider yourself to be an overthinking pro like I do, it is possible to minimize this with intentional work and awareness. Like I’ve mentioned in other points, if I can make progress in this area, you can too because I have been really good at this in my life. And I can say that I’m making progress. Decreasing your overthinking will bring peace and happiness into your life. 

Megan Porta  17:39

Let’s talk through the five points that we talked about today. Five things to stop doing to find greater happiness and success. Number one, making excuses. Two, letting fear run your life. Three, caring what others think. Four, not taking action. And five, overthinking. Everything I talked about in this episode can hold you back from so much happiness and success. Don’t underestimate that. So pick one or two or three or five of these things and be aware that they’re happening and take steps toward stopping them. You’ve got this. Happiness and success await your progress in these areas. Thank you for listening. You guys are the best. See you next time. 

Outro  17:39

Thank you so much for listening to this mindset and self-care episode here on Eat Blog Talk. If you are a food blogger providing a service for other food bloggers, and you want to spread the word about the value that you offer. I would love to offer you a free way to do just this. Send me a 60 second audio clip to be featured in a mindset and self-care episode here on Eat Blog Talk in 2024. Go to eatblogtalk.com/audioclip to learn more.