Episode 425: How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship with Instagram and Set Realistic Boundaries while Growing Your Blog with Ally Kepley

EBT425 – Ally Kepley

Intro: Food bloggers. Hi, how are you today? Thank you so much for tuning in to the Eat Blog Talk podcast. This is the place for food bloggers to get information and inspiration to accelerate their blog’s growth and ultimately help them to achieve their freedom, whether that’s financial, personal, or professional.

I’m Megan Porta, and I’ve been a food blogger for over 12 years. I understand how isolating food blogging can be at times. I’m on a mission to motivate, inspire, and most importantly, let each and every food blogger, including you, know that you are heard and supported. 

The topic we talk about in this episode is a little bit vulnerable. It’s a little bit touchy. It’s a little bit on the edge of maybe hitting a few nerves, but I think it’s a really important one that we don’t talk about enough. Ally Kepley from The Rebel Spatula joins me in this episode. The overarching message is how to maintain a healthy relationship with Instagram and your phone, your mobile device. But it actually ended up turning into a conversation about the fact that we’re all addicted to our phones and to technology and how scary this is not just for us, but for our kids. Ally and I have a lot of the same worries about this, and that definitely comes out in this episode. This is great food for thought though. If you feel like you are looking at Instagram or your phone too much or your kids are, definitely give it a listen. I hope that it helps someone out there who needs to hear this message. Ally also provides some great tips about how to get off your phone a little bit and start enjoying life and have gratitude for the things around you, implement discipline into your life, and time management and schedule management, and all those good things that will naturally help you get off your device. This is episode number 425, and it is sponsored by RankIQ.

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Megan Porta: Ally Kepley is a home baker who grew up baking with both of her grandmothers since she was little. Ally started creating her own recipes at age 11 or 12 and was on a roll through becoming a stay-at-home mom. She decided to create a recipe website a little over a year ago out of a desire to want to bake full-time and have more freedom and time with her son. Her blog is catered toward those who want to make elevated recipes that are approachable to anyone. Hello, Ally. Thanks so much for being on Eat Blog Talk. How are you today?

Ally Kepley: Hi, Megan. Good. I’m so excited to be here. 

Megan Porta: Super excited for this chat about establishing a healthy relationship with none other than Instagram. 

Ally Kepley: Yes. The one and only. 

Megan Porta: Yes, the one and only. Exactly. Before we get into it, `do you have a fun fact to share with us?

Ally Kepley: I do. So my fun fact is that for most of my life, I was a dancer. When I was little I did tap, ballet, and jazz. Then as an adult, I was on a hip-hop dance team. I took belly dancing lessons and salsa dancing. So I like to try just a little bit of everything.

Megan Porta: That’s so fun. I love that. What’s your favorite form?

Ally Kepley: Probably salsa. It is a lot of fun. It’s so upbeat and you’re just all over the place. Most of these places are attached to Mexican restaurants as well, so you get to eat Mexican food and have margaritas. So I’m combining my favorite worlds into one. 

Megan Porta: Yes, I love it. There’s nothing more fun than watching really good salsa dancers dance. They’re so amazing. 

Ally Kepley: They are, and it is so much fun and it’s an awesome workout. I’ve always enjoyed it. 

Megan Porta: That’s awesome. All right, great to have you here, and like we alluded to, we’re going to talk about Instagram and just creating a healthy relationship because I don’t know about you, but I hear so much in our space how it’s really hard to do this right now. There’s so much angst and disappointment and frustration, and it’s an unhealthy space for a lot of people. So this I think is a really relevant topic. 

Ally Kepley: It can be, yeah. I’m gonna go through all of that and even things you can do to set yourself up for success. 

Megan Porta: Oh, can’t wait to hear that. First, you want to start by just telling us a little bit about your journey, where you started, and where you’ve come to today.

Ally Kepley: Let’s start with this. Pandemic, we all know what a crazy time that was. I think a lot of people felt that shift, where things were uncertain. With me especially, I had a son who started doing Zoom school and had to be home. So I quickly had to scramble and find a remote job. I had to abandon school. I was going to school to be a psychologist. So I had to put that on the back burner and make sure we could do Zach’s school and have that set up and make sure I could be home with him. I just felt like I was being banged around. My whole life just got flipped upside down. I was thinking about it. That’s the time when TikTok erupted, right? Everyone’s online and doing stuff and making money from it. I was thinking, I want more control out of my life than this. Because everything did feel uncertain. In the past people have said, you should open up a bakery. You’re such a good baker. You should work in a bakery or have a restaurant or something. But I didn’t really want to do that. So the idea popped up, I should start a blog. I wanted to teach people that baking really isn’t as intimidating as it seems. I grew up doing it, so I’m used to it. But I met a lot of people, especially up here in the north, because I grew up in the South where baking is still a big deal. We make a lot of pies down there. A lot of people I’ve talked to had never baked before or felt intimidated by it. I was like, gosh, I want to make something approachable for people and show them that you can make things look pretty and it’s not hard to learn. I’ll walk you through it. So I decided to create a blog in, I would say, 2021, toward the end of the year. You know when you start it, you get really excited and you’re like, oh, this is great. Then you start getting into the nitty gritty and you’re like, Ooh, this is a lot of work. It’s a lot of work. It was good work. I spent almost the entire year learning last year. You have to learn photography cause that’s the very first thing I think people realize is that their stuff has to look pretty or else no one’s going to click on it. So I took a photography course, foodtography school, a lot of bloggers have taken that one.

Learned how to make videos, because reels were becoming popular and I had to switch things up there. I developed my own website. How many people are web developers? I’m not a tech-savvy person, I’ll tell you that. So I built my whole website from scratch and learned how to do all that. It really was a lot of work, but I enjoyed it. So I took the entire year, last year, just learning and I figured, okay, I haven’t invested a lot of money, so if I’m still enjoying this, I’m going to stick with it. I enjoyed all of it. Megan, I just loved it. I loved baking and designing my website and learning all this stuff. I feel like it almost forces you to grow as a person. You’re putting in all this work and then you see the end of it and you’re like, I did this all by myself. With a full-time job and a kid. What a baddie, that’s how I felt. Now, I got more focused on creating more content and doing the stuff that you need to do to grow traffic from there. But I did start on Instagram before I even started posting content on my blog, and I think that’s where some of the problems lay for me.

Megan Porta: So what problems do you think that caused for you? 

Ally Kepley: I would say, there was more focus on keeping up with it. If you spend enough time on Instagram, you know exactly what I’m talking about, the algorithm, right? So you learn all the photography, you put that on there. Then all of a sudden they say, okay, actually we want to be like TikTok. Now you guys need to make a bunch of reels or else we’re not gonna put your content out. So everyone’s scrambling. Oh, now we have to learn how to be videographers too and put a bunch of reels out and this and that. They got a lot of backlash for that. Because any creator and not just food bloggers, but there are a lot of creators out there who are actual photographers and artists, and doing things that video doesn’t really make sense for them. Instagram is the space for creators. It really is. Because TikTok is its own different beast. Then they scaled things back and said, okay, we’re gonna push out photos as well. It’s hard to keep up. The app will give you more whiplash in a car collision. 

Megan Porta: So true. Oh, I know lots of whiplash scenarios going on in our space. 

Ally Kepley: Yes. So this is why I call Instagram the Toxic Boyfriend. I’ve always called it that, he is that one from your past, hopefully your past, that was so bad for you. Wasted all your time, but you just couldn’t stay away from no matter how hard you tried, right?

Megan Porta: I have two of them. Is that bad?

Ally Kepley: I think a lot of us can relate there. If that’s your current situation, then girl, you need to get out of there. You are worth it. But there were a couple of points that I wanted to touch on with Instagram. But before that, I wanted to preface by saying that, it is a really wonderful space for the blogging community. That is probably my favorite part about it. I’ve made so many friends on there, and some of them I talk to all the time. These are the people you know that you celebrate each other’s success, your shoulder to cry on. Troubleshooting, anything. They’re your support network. The only people you can even talk to about this stuff because nobody honestly really understands. I feel like if you don’t have your community or your tribe, sometimes you can feel kinda lost and alone. It’s good to have people you can talk to and relate to when it comes to that. I really like Instagram for that reason. 

Megan Porta: Yeah. Instagram has been good for that for a long time. Even back, oh gosh, I don’t even know when I started my Instagram account, but I really started digging in, in probably 2015 or 2016. Even then, it was a great place for community and finding your people. 

Ally Kepley: Yeah. I love it for that. The only problem and this is where I started to get into I’ve already talked about the algorithm, but you have shiny object syndrome. So you get on there and you’re like, oh, this person makes a gorgeous reel. I want to learn how to make reels like that. And you start doing research on that. Or, my friends are working with this brand. I want to work with brands but do you really, or do you want to do it because your friends are doing it? But you would get so distracted by all this stuff that it really takes away from the one thing that you started to do, which was grow your blog. It really is a time suck. It can be. You’ve got your friends posting stories and posts and you got your own thing, replying to comments, and posting on your other friend’s photos. At the end of it, you look at it and you think, how much time am I spending on here? How many people are even aware of that? Because it’s not a secret that these days everyone’s glued to their phones. You hear all about, oh, the youth and how they’re becoming addicted to social media and this and that, but what does social media addiction look like for creators? Are you even aw aware that you’re doing it? Especially if you’re on the app so much posting, how often are you on there checking your notifications? You get on there looking through posts, looking through stories. And how much time have you spent before you get back off of there?

Megan Porta: Oh, this is like a whole other issue. It’s a trigger for me because I feel like, yeah, I feel very sad about this topic. Not just kids. Which by the way is really sad because this is, What they’re learning growing up. We didn’t have this, so we don’t even know what’s gonna happen to them once they’re adults, right?

Ally Kepley: Yeah. They’re watching us do it. 

Megan Porta: I know. They’re watching us do it, and then on top of that, we are doing it. It makes me really sad, but okay. I’m gonna let you continue. Yes, this is an issue. 

Ally Kepley: This is a hard pill-to-swallow topic I think. I think a lot of us are guilty of this and a lot of us have not been aware of it before. I sat down and thought about it and I had a tough time, yeah. I need to do something about this. One day, I got to a point where I realized I hadn’t posted anything on my blog in about three weeks. I just wasn’t feeling motivated, honestly. I posted a couple of things on Instagram. Stuff I felt like baking, just posted on there. So one day I was like, Ugh, I need to check my stats because I think they’ve completely gone down the toilet. I just got on there and I was wincing, only to find out that my traffic had gone up a lot. I was very surprised. So I took a closer look at it and saw that one of my Pinterest pins had taken off and it was these cake pops, that took no time at all to put together. It was an easy post that I wrote up. Of course, that of all things is the thing that takes off. It’s not the masterpiece that you spent hours on. So I snapped back to reality, in that moment, and was like, what am I doing? I’m just focusing on other things except the things that are going to bring traffic to my blog. The one thing that I had set out to do that I had spent so much blood, sweat, and tears on, only to completely neglect it. The thing is, I knew all this stuff, Megan. I’ve listened to so many of your podcast episodes with bloggers talking about how you should only focus on things that are gonna bring you ROI and things that bring you traffic.

But what happens when, that’s easier said than done? Because it’s not sometimes. I was talking to one of my friends the next day and we were talking about it. I told her about my little Pinterest epiphany and she was like, you know what, you’re right. I have the same problem. I’m always on Instagram. I have been completely neglecting my blog. She and I just had this big pep talk about it and hold each other accountable. We’re like, we can do this. We got this. That conversation just really lit a fire under me. I set up a plan. I sat down one day and just thought about everything. I’m like, okay, I need to have a schedule, for one. For my posting, my baking. I finally took that class Cooking With Keywords with Aleka. Which was super helpful. I found out that I was doing pretty much everything wrong as far as keyword research. I put up boundaries with myself.

I said, okay I’m only going to open the app a couple times a day. Just to reply to one of my friends or whatever. It’s really not worth my time beyond that and stick to that. You have to keep yourself mindful at all times. Otherwise, you are gonna get distracted by other things. If you look at it from a psychological standpoint, you have two things fighting against each other. Which is instant gratification and delayed gratification. Which one do you think your brain likes the most? 

Megan Porta: Ooh. Instant. 

Ally Kepley: Instant, exactly. Instagram is almost all instant gratification, right/ I’m excluding, growing your followers and waiting to work with brands and things like that. I’m excluding that. I’m talking about the little everyday stuff. You post something and you start getting likes and comments on it. All these little things are the ones that light up the reward systems in your brain. If you’ve ever seen the documentary, the Social Dilemma on Netflix.

Megan Porta: Yes. I was just thinking of that. I have.

Ally Kepley: Yes. They go in so much depth about it and it’s really interesting to see how it fosters social media addiction. These people in big Tech, do not let their children on phones.

Megan Porta: I remember that. Yes. 

Ally Kepley: Yeah. That says a lot. So then you have that, and then your blog is what is all delayed, pretty much. There are some people who have gotten lucky and gotten into Mediavine within a year, but that’s definitely more the exception to the rule. Delayed gratification requires a lot of patience and a lot of work. Our brain does not like to do that because it has too many other things to do. So it wants things to be easy and fun and instant. If you compare it to a diet because I think that’s what most people can relate to. Say you want to lose 10 pounds for a wedding, right? You think, okay, I’m gonna eat chicken and vegetables. And I’m gonna be completely miserable. I’m going to go to a spin class and I’m going to lose these 10 pounds. What’s the first thing you do? You look in the mirror the next day and you’re like, all right, is it gone? You don’t want to wait. You don’t want to stay on this diet and keep working out. You want to see results now. I’m definitely prey to this. I’m not the most patient person, I’m working on it. We’re all a work in progress. The problem with diets, it’s okay, you’re going on a diet. Now, what happens when you’re done with it? Are you going to eat like crap afterward again and gain it all back? Or are you going to put in the work and have a plan to stick with a lifestyle change in order to maintain it? I think that the part that’s missing for a lot of people, is not having a plan for delayed gratification.

Megan Porta: Oh, this is good. 

Ally Kepley: Here are some tips. These are things that I use in my own life that I realized one day I should be putting into my business because it works everywhere. It works for anyone, whether you’re a blogger or a runner, or I don’t know, a teacher, anybody really. So I think the first thing you need to keep in mind when working for something long-term, is that this is something that everyone talks about, and it’s because there’s something to it. You have to practice gratitude. It’s very important. The reason it’s so important is because it’s gonna give you the longevity you need. So if you practice saying thank you for the little things, you’re not focusing on the negative. So I’d say, every blogger’s first big goal is Mediavine. Think about what a long road that can be. How easy it is to be caught up in, oh, this is going to take forever. Oh, my friends are already in Mediavine, and I’m still back here. Okay, think about where you started. You started at zero, right? You started with zero traffic. You started with zero posts. Look at where you are now. You have to take every little step in your journey and be thankful for it. Be mindful always of how far you’ve come. Even if your traffic grows by 50 more sessions next month, that’s 50 more sessions than it was before.

Megan Porta: Have you read The Gap In The Gain, by the way, Ally? 

Ally Kepley: I have not. No. I’ve heard of it. 

Megan Porta: So what you just said is the synopsis of the book. Looking at the achievements you’ve made, even if it is little, is going to make you more successful because of that, exactly what you’re saying. You’re focusing on gratitude, you’re focusing on abundance, you’re not focusing on the lack of things. 

Ally Kepley: Yes, absolutely. It’s so important. Because when you’re focusing on all the good little things that are happening, it’s taking away from the focus on the things that you don’t have. Here’s the thing, it’s not something that you practice a couple of times or once in a while. It’s like being a bodybuilder. They practice and they’re consistent. Your brain is the same way. Your brain is a muscle too. You have to practice and you have to put the work in. I know not everyone wants to do that because it’s hard. It really is hard. We all have busy lives. But it’s so important and it’s so good for your mental health. You’ll feel better for it and you’re going to get further that way. 

Megan Porta: Gratitude is such a little thing, but adding it to your life and doing it consistently, people see that as a big hurdle. But if, even if it’s just like five minutes a day, right? Just maybe establishing a morning routine where you just do five minutes of it to get into the habit of it, don’t you think?

Ally Kepley: Yes. It becomes natural after a while. That’s the thing. After practicing it and practicing it, it becomes part of how you think. It has helped me through so many things, m=Megan. My life has not been easy, I’ll tell you that right now. But a lot of people have had hard lives, and are you gonna let it affect you negatively? Or are you going to take that and use it as fuel to get you further? Are you going to take those negative obstacles and take a look and say what good came out of this? What door opened? What lesson did I learn from it? I’ve had so many people say gosh, you’re just cool as a cucumber, just plowing through this. I’m like, yeah, stuff happens. You have to keep on moving because if you don’t, you’re just going to stay stagnant. That’s not a good feeling, it’s really not. 

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Ally Kepley: The other thing too, that is important for delayed gratification, is you have to set certain goals. With the goals, you need a plan of action. So you start off with one big goal. Say we were talking about Mediavine, right? That’s your big fish. So you say, okay, how am I going to get there? You break it down into smaller goals or a milestone. My son would say in a video game, a checkpoint, right? So you break it down into checkpoints and you say, okay, what do I need to get to? A thousand sessions. Okay, I need a consistent posting schedule. I need maybe even a Pinterest strategy or something, that you put work into that’s going to build your traffic, right? You get to each of these goals and then you set your next one. Then you feel like you’ve, you can celebrate after each one. It gives you a sense of accomplishment when you set smaller goals that are attainable. Cause if you only look at the big picture, it looks really overwhelming, right? When you set the smaller ones, you can celebrate after each one. You’re like, I got to 1000 sessions. Next, I’m gonna get to 5,000, and you go from there and you stay consistent and you keep your schedule and your plan. Stay mindful of what you’re doing so you don’t get distracted by Instagram.

Megan Porta: The toxic boyfriend. 

Ally Kepley: Yes. Stay away from the boyfriend. 

Megan Porta: Yes. So once you started implementing some of these things, you’re talking about gratitude and just managing your schedule and all of that. Then do you feel like your relationship with Instagram got more healthy? 

Ally Kepley: Absolutely. Because for one, I shifted my focus. When you have a plan that you stick to, your focus shifts naturally. Because you are like, okay, today this is a writing day. So today I’m writing. I do not keep my phone near me When I’m writing, I keep my tabs closed because even the computer can be distracting. Then, when I have time at night before bed then I’ll get on there, if one of my friends DMS me or something, I’ll talk to them for a little bit, and then I say, okay I need to get back to what I’m doing, and then I just keep on trucking. But it does happen naturally, and if you put in the work, then things really do come together a lot better for you.

Megan Porta: Yeah. I think a lot of us fall into what you were talking about earlier. It starts out as a rabbit hole that we go down and then before we know it, we’re sucked into this vortex that is a mindless trap that we don’t even know we’re in. Until something, for you, you got shaken out of it and had that epiphany. But a lot of us don’t know. I had the same thing happen, not with Instagram, but just with my phone in general. I was at a grocery store, in line somewhere. I was at a checkout and I was looking at my phone and I remember I was looking at email or something. I had no idea what I was even looking at. I’m like, what am I doing? Why? Why do I have my phone? Why do I keep checking it? I’m not checking for anything specific. It was such a moment for me, I was like, holy crap. I’ve been trained to pick up my phone and open it and click on an app or something. I don’t even know why I’m going in there. That for me was my epiphany where I just realized I couldn’t do that anymore. I couldn’t live like that. I couldn’t show my boys, that’s what their mom does. What are you checking, Mom? I don’t know.

Ally Kepley: I have no clue. I haven’t had any new emails in the last three minutes, but I’m still looking at it.

Megan Porta: No idea why I’m here. So I made an intentional change as well, and it was really hard. I felt I was maybe a drug addict. Trying not to reach for the drugs. It was like a really strong pull to my phone and my computer too. But I committed and I made myself stay on track, and it took three solid months of training myself really to not go to my phone before I felt normal again.

Ally Kepley: Good for you, girl. Yeah. I don’t think a lot of people realize how addicting it really is. I have the same problem. I was at the doctor, and you get in the waiting room. The first thing I do is pull open my phone. I’m just gonna sit here by myself and scroll. I had no idea what I was looking at either. It was just a habit to have it open and have something to do. Then you look around, you ever sometimes look around and everybody’s on their phone and they’re just sucked in there. You’re like, gosh, is this what I look like? 

Megan Porta: I know. There are times when I am somewhere and I really do have to get some information or oh gosh, I need to find that email or that text and find it. But other than that, I really try not to be on my phone because I don’t want to be that person who’s just wandering around, staring down at a device in her hand. So I’m often looking around oh my gosh, everyone, everyone in a waiting room is on the phone. If I go to my boys’ school, if I’m waiting for them or something, every single parent’s on their phone. I go to swim lessons with my son, and every parent is on their phone. Not to say that I’m not. I fall prey to that too. So I’m not being judgy or anything.

Ally Kepley: It’s widespread, is what you’re saying. 

Megan Porta: Yeah, it’s widespread. Exactly. Take a moment just to look around you when you’re in those waiting situations and notice how they look like robots and nobody’s looking at the world anymore. Nobody’s looking up and talking, for the most part, interacting with humans the way they used to because they didn’t have phones. It’s bizarre, but we’re trained to do it. It’s not a lot of us even know we’re doing it.

Ally Kepley: No, I don’t think so either. I wasn’t aware for a long time. You do come to a point sometimes where you’re like, okay, I need to make a change. Because like you said, I don’t even really know what I’m looking at. I’m just on it to be on it. Because I’m used to it. It becomes a habit, and it does take time to break it. 

Megan Porta: Even some people probably do know that they are doing that mindlessly, but they don’t know what to do to change it. Because it’s so ingrained in us that we know it’s going to require a lot of effort and time. Just an investment of energy. 

Ally Kepley: It does. That’s why it’s so important to learn some of these techniques because I think, I’m, fortunate that I took a lot of psychology classes, so I feel like I’m always aware of things. I know what to look for. Even I get caught up in things sometimes, I’m able to bring myself back to earth and practice certain things. But a lot of people don’t really know what to do or how to change it. Or certain things that you can do to help it. Because there are things you can do. As I said, gratitude is mindfulness of what you’re doing. Being in the present and being self-aware. We all get so caught up and busy in our everyday lives that we don’t actually sit down and think about what we should be working on or how am I going to change this or that. Because it feels like work because it is work. It’s important and you really do feel so much better for it.

Megan Porta: It’s so true. I can tell you that 100%, those three months that I just talked about were really hard. But once I got to the end of it, I felt like I was given a new life, honestly. This was during Covid. So to say that I felt renewed during that time is huge. I was so in shock. 

Ally Kepley: That’s a big deal.

Megan Porta: Not even how much better I felt, but I was like earning more money in my business by a lot, and I had more relationships in my business. More opportunities had come my way. I think that’s because I was taking my eyes off of the garbage that I didn’t need to have my eyes on. I was allowing the good stuff to come in.

Ally Kepley: Exactly. That’s the thing. You allow yourself more time. Think about how much more time. Especially for me, for anybody, but in my life, I have a full-time job and a child and all that stuff, and my time is very precious to me. I don’t have a lot of it, so I have to use it really wisely. So if I’m wasting a bunch of time on Instagram, that is all time I’m taking away from my business. It really gives me nothing. I’ve never reached out to a brand before. I’m lucky to get one or two clicks on my website a day from it. So this is all stuff that’s bringing me nothing. If you do work with a ton of brands and that’s your thing or you’re an influencer, obviously, you’re going to spend more time on Instagram becuse you’re growing that. But even Megan, I’ve seen a lot of people get hacked before my very eyes. I think it’s so important to have different streams of income and things to have besides Instagram. Because if you’re solely focused on that, that can be taken away from you in a second.

Megan Porta: Sadly Yes, that happens.

Ally Kepley: Food Blogger Pro, Bjork had an episode about that. Pinch of Yum got hacked on Instagram. They have millions of followers, right? They’ve been around forever. Yeah. And luckily they were able to get their account back, but from what I understand, it took a lot of work for them. Not everyone gets that fortunate. That’s why, having your own website or something besides that. Even an ebook or something is good to have. It’s always good to have something other than Instagram. I’ll tell you that. 

Megan Porta: So something I use the app for personally is just keeping in touch with friends. It’s a way that I’ve created relationships that I’ve had for years. So how do you recommend people still do that? Use it as a networking tool, but maintain their sanity?

Ally Kepley: I told you I had a conversation with my friend about this and one thing she mentioned that resonated with me was that she was worried about losing, contact with her friends more and missing out on their posts and things like that. Because she and I both like to see our friend’s stuff and comment on it. I think that part of the problem with me is that I like the social aspect of it. I talk to everybody on there. I’m friendly and I love making new friends. I think that was the hardest part for me as far as setting that boundary. So what you have to do is just realize they’re still going to be there. If it takes you a little while to message them back or comment or something, then it might just have to wait. Before, I would have, a message come in and I would get to it right away and message them back. Then I would get into a full-blown conversation, and I’m like, oh man, I should’ve, waited a little bit for this because I have to make dinner. 

Megan Porta: Yes, I know what you mean. Yep.

Ally Kepley: It’s just realizing that it can wait. It really can. People understand. I’ve had friends that get back to me way later, and there are a lot of people that I think that do have boundaries with it and people that do not. I was definitely one that didn’t. You can scroll later. Scroll before bed. That’s my Instagram time, especially when I’m laying down. I don’t really watch a lot of TV anymore. Before bed, I’ll scroll a little bit, talk to my friends, and, set out certain times of day that you know I have time to talk to someone or go through your feet or whatever you want to do. 

Megan Porta: Something you said sparked this. I have one little tip that I do. So like you were saying that you’ll see something come in and okay, I need to put this off, otherwise I’m just gonna go down the rabbit hole. So what I do is I’ll kinda let my DMS accumulate a little bit. So if I see one come through, I’m like, not enough. I’ll wait until I see between three and five and then I can kick them out all at once. That’s one little thing I do. 

Ally Kepley: Yeah, I think that’s a good tip. That’s something that I started doing because otherwise if you are replying to messages as they come, that’s not good for your time at all. 

Megan Porta: Also doing the audio reply, sometimes that’s just easier. For if I am walking somewhere and I don’t necessarily wanna be looking right down at my phone, I’ll just hit the audio record and just record a reply real quick. That’s another easy way to just get in and out.

Ally Kepley: Yeah, that’s a good idea too. I’ve actually never done that before. 

Megan Porta: People love that too. 

Ally Kepley: I’ve never done a talk-to-text or anything. 

Megan Porta: Oh really? I get so many responses when I do that. People are like, oh my gosh, this is above and beyond. For some reason think that pressing that button is so much harder. I don’t know, maybe it’s just more personal, so they appreciate it more, but it’s a great little tool. I love that. 

Ally Kepley: I’m gonna try that, Megan.

Megan Porta: Yes. Before we start saying goodbye, do you have any other little tips or bits of encouragement about how to establish a healthier relationship, not just with Instagram, we really talked about phones overall really and what you’re doing on your telephone. 

Ally Kepley: Because it all ties in together. But I would say my tip is just to go outside. Go outside, enjoy life, and get off Instagram a little bit. Get off TikTok and enjoy the stuff around you. Because it’s pretty outside. It’s getting warm out. 

Megan Porta: I know. Finally, right? 

Ally Kepley: You all need to go outside. 

Megan Porta: Yes. It’s hard in the winter. I get into ruts where I’m like, oh my gosh, I haven’t even seen the sky all day. I can feel it in my body, in my mind when that happens. 

Ally Kepley: You live in the north too, don’t you? 

Megan Porta: Yes. Minnesota. 

Ally Kepley: Yeah. So it’s gray. There’s no sun. 

Megan Porta: It was a rough winter this year. 

Ally Kepley: All winter. 

Megan Porta: Yeah. This has been so great. I bet you didn’t know that you would hit a nerve with me, did you? Or maybe you did. 

Ally Kepley: This is something that helped me and I was hoping it could at least help one other person and I feel like I’ve achieved something.

Megan Porta: Oh, it’s so true. I know it’s hard to think that with this topic, because it’s such a big one, that you could possibly change the masses. Probably not, unless, who knows? You’d have to do a lot, but to change one person’s thinking on this is huge. I think it’s so important. I always wonder I don’t know about you, Ally, but I’m always like, why aren’t more people worried about this? Or maybe they are and they just don’t know what to do. This is not a topic of conversation very often. I’m like freaking out about it. I don’t freak out about much, but, this is a big deal. 10 years from now, our kids are going to be mindless robots and nobody is thinking about this. It makes me wanna tear up and cry. 

Ally Kepley: I think about that too. My son is 10.

Megan Porta: Yeah. I know. That’s the age where you have to start thinking about it. Because I know my youngest son, Sam, who was in second grade and told me that kids in his class had phones. I was like, what? No, they don’t. I didn’t believe it. I was like, that’s crazy. But apparently, that was a thing. 

Ally Kepley: Second graders, oh my goodness. 

Megan Porta: Second graders. Yes. And now he’s in seventh grade and my other son is in 10th grade. We still have not gotten them phones and they’re literally the only kids in their schools who don’t have phones. I know that’s probably not a good service in the social realm, but I just feel like it doesn’t make sense to me. My husband and I are like if it made sense, we would do it. But I feel like it’s so harmful or the potential of it being so harmful is there, so we’re still holding out. I don’t know if that’s right or wrong.

Ally Kepley: I commend you for that, Megan. I really do because it is one more thing to monitor. Because Zach has a phone and I was against it, but his dad and his grandparents live in Florida and so he likes to FaceTime with them and it’s a way for him to talk to his family a lot. I can’t get rid of my phone all the time, so he’s got his own. You do really have to monitor it and monitor what they’re looking at and how much time they spend on it. He has time limits. Certain things he has to do before he can even get on it. He likes his phone, I’ll tell you that. 

Megan Porta: See there are things you can do, to help with that. So just being a parent, monitoring and letting them know that they don’t have full access. Those are things that we could definitely implement, but there’s enough stuff that they deal with. I just personally don’t want to add it. 

Ally Kepley: I don’t blame you because I wouldn’t either if I had the choice. 

Megan Porta: I don’t wanna come across as being judgmental either. I am not judging parents who do it because it’s easy to do it like all the kids have them. So of course you’re going to do that. So I don’t want people to think that I’m being a jerk or anything. But just for me and my husband, no, not at all. It just doesn’t feel, yet, I’m not saying we won’t, but I want it to feel right for us before we do it. 

Ally Kepley: Yeah and that’s the thing, we as parents, we all do what we feel is best for our child and our family. It has nothing to do with anybody else. It’s what we feel is good for our situation and our children. 

Megan Porta: Yeah, oh gosh. Okay. This was amazing. I am all fired up now. I want to go start like a movement. Maybe we should start one together Ally.

Ally Kepley: I’ll join you. 

Megan Porta: Okay, sounds good. Thank you for joining us and we appreciate all the value you shared. Hopefully, we can move forward with our Instagram relationships in a more healthy way and just be more mindful of what we’re looking at there so that we can go on there and actually do things that are benefiting our business.

Ally Kepley: Absolutely. 

Megan Porta: Do you have either a favorite quote or words of inspiration to leave us with? I know you mentioned some earlier, so if you have anything additional, now is the time to say it.

Ally Kepley: Okay, so my quote is from Sebastian Angus and he says, Happiness is a new thing. The happiness you find now is what gives you the energy to create the life you really want. Learn to enjoy the journey. 

Megan Porta: Oh, that’s perfect. It ties in with what you were talking about, just being present and enjoying where you’re at. Love it. 

Ally Kepley: Exactly. 

Megan Porta: We’ll put together show notes for you, Allie. If anyone wants to go look at those, you can go to eatblogtalk.com/rebelspatula. Tell everyone where they can find you, Ally. 

Ally Kepley: You can find me on my website at therebelspatula.Com. Of course, I’m on Instagram. It’s Rebel Spatula. Don’t be afraid to say hi. I love to chit-chat with people.

Megan Porta: During your downtime. 

Ally Kepley: During my downtime. Yes. It may take a little bit to get back to you. Pinterest. I love hanging out with people on Pinterest too. It’s rebel_underscorespatula. 

Megan Porta: Cool. Everyone, go check Ally out. Thank you so much for being here Ally, and thank you for listening today, food bloggers. I will see you in the next episode.

Outro: Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Eat Blog Talk. Please share this episode with a friend who would benefit from tuning in. I will see you next time.