Episode 601: 5 Steps to Dispel the Fear of Success (Mindset & Self-Care)

EBT601 – 5 Steps to Dispel the Fear of Success

Intro  00:01

Hey food bloggers. Thank you so much for joining me in this mindset and self-care focused episode here on Eat Blog Talk. One of the reasons I started a blog talk was to hold a space to talk about the importance of mindset and self-care. Being an entrepreneur can be a lot. If we are not taking care of ourselves, then getting actionable information about SEO Pinterest or whatever else is all moot. I will meet you back here every Wednesday to discuss various mindset and self-care topics. So you have the energy and space to tackle the rest.

Sponsor (Madison Wetherill) 00:36

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Megan Porta  01:28

What’s up food bloggers, welcome to this self care and mindset episode of Eat Blog Talk. Thank you for tuning in again and to all of these episodes. I so appreciate you. In today’s episode, we’re going to talk about five steps to dispel the fear of success. I absolutely love this topic, because at first glance, it’s like, what fear of success? That’s crazy. We all want success, right? But when you think about it, reaching new levels of quote, success brings all kinds of new things our way, which can bring up some fears, whether consciously or unconsciously, things like, will I be able to keep this up? Am I worthy of this? How will people perceive me? What are the consequences of achieving the success? Will my current circle reject me? Are my taxes going to increase, etc? And then, whether consciously or not, we can do things to sabotage reaching that success. I think the key point here is that often entrepreneurs are not even aware that they have this fear at the surface level, it seems absolutely bonkers. So let’s use this episode as kind of an exercise to uncover which successes we’re afraid of, and then we’re going to work through the fear so we can actually get to the bottom of it and achieve what we want to achieve. So I hope that if you’re out and about driving, walking, that you’ll listen, but once you’re back at your computer, I would love for you to actually go through this exercise as we talk through the points, because I’m willing to bet that every person listening is not doing something. They need to do at least one thing because of a fear of success. So trust the process. Let’s do this together. I even talk about in this episode one of my own fears, and how that’s affected me and my business. Okay, so let’s talk through these five steps. 

Megan Porta  03:27

Number one is, what is the excuse, or excuses? So to start, pull out your goals for the year, assuming you have a list of goals, is there anything you see on your list that you have not yet achieved. It should be something you really want to accomplish, but that just has not happened, or something that maybe you’ve started but you haven’t finished because you want it to be maybe, like, quote, just perfect. Or maybe there’s a project that you just keep procrastinating on, or perhaps it’s something you’re just completely avoiding altogether. I am going to share with you a goal of mine that’s been on my to accomplish list for three years, I think maybe even more than three years now. I’ve never taken a single step toward accomplishing this goal until very recently, and that is to write a book, not a cookbook, but an actual written book. For at least three years, maybe more, I’ve just known that I need to write a book. I have learned so many things the hard way, as you’ve heard me share on this podcast, which means I have a story, and I have lessons that I need to share with people to help them beyond what I share on this podcast. And I have had all the excuses about why I have not followed through with this goal. I’m too busy. I haven’t figured out a topic. I don’t know where to start. Other things are more important. Blah, blah, blah. My List literally goes on and on. So a few weeks ago, I was talking to a mentor of mine, and he asked why I hadn’t achieved this goal or even started the project. I immediately rattled off a few of the above excuses, and he just stared blankly at me, like he was waiting for something really valid to come out of my mouth. It was in that moment that I realized I’ve been stalling because I’m afraid of the potential for success. More specifically, I’m afraid of what people in the food blogging industry will think of me. I’m afraid that I won’t want to share about the book once it’s done, because people will judge me for it, or they won’t want to hear about it, or that they’ll think that I think I’m better than they are. None of this is true, by the way. These are all just my personal dysfunctional thoughts. After getting off the call with this mentor, guess what I did? I started writing. My first step was just realizing those dysfunctional thoughts that were keeping me from starting. Once you have selected the unachieved goal that you’d like to highlight, write it down. Now write down or think through some of the excuses you’ve been making about why you haven’t followed through with accomplishing this goal. Maybe you have multiple excuses, like I did. 

Megan Porta  03:40

Here are some ideas for excuses that might seem familiar. I don’t have enough time, I don’t have a plan. I can’t fit it into my schedule. I don’t know where to start. I don’t know how to finish. I have no motivation to start or finish. Other projects take priority. I don’t have enough information. I need more training or education. I need more money. I need a team. I don’t know how to do this. Once you get started writing your excuse or excuses down, you might find that you have a lot of them and you didn’t even know it. 

Megan Porta  06:51

Which leads us to number two, get acquainted with the excuse or excuses. Take the excuses that you are making and write them down on paper and just examine them. Ask yourself, are these true? If your main excuse for not starting a project is that you don’t have enough time, for example, ask yourself, if that is really true. Do you really not have enough time, or is there something else going on? Are you just not prioritizing the project? And if you’re not prioritizing it, there’s always a way to change that. If your excuse is that you don’t know where to start, there’s a way for you to find that first tiny step to take, see your excuse for what it is, just an excuse. If you find that there’s actually a really valid reason why you haven’t started or finished a project, and it’s, in fact, not an excuse, but maybe a roadblock, then it is good to have that intel too. If you determine that it is indeed an excuse, call yourself out. Accept the fact that you’ve been leaning on an excuse or excuses. It’s okay. We all do it. There’s no shame here, no guilting. It’s just part of the process of achieving those goals you know you need to achieve, and if it is not an excuse, but instead a roadblock. So an example would be, maybe you do need more Pinterest training before launching a course, then you’ll be equipped to know which next steps you need to take. 

Megan Porta  08:24

Number three, what is the real issue? Let’s go back to my example that I mentioned earlier. For myself, I’ve wanted to write a book, but I haven’t started for years because of the following excuses. I’m too busy. I haven’t figured out a topic. I don’t know where to start, other things are more important. If I have to pull out a main excuse from those, it would be other projects are more important. Is this true? No thinking ahead to the success of my business in the future. Publishing a book, or even more than one book, is an imperative piece of the puzzle. I know that I need to share my story and help others in the process. I also know that writing a book is going to lead to other great things that I can’t even imagine or envision today. So if other projects are actually not more important than this one, what is my issue? Come on, Megan, I can so clearly see that this is just an excuse covering up a deeper issue. I know that writing a book is a priority. I know it’s important. I know there’s a way to figure out how to prioritize getting started with this project. So the next step is going back to your piece of paper, either on a Google Doc or your journal, writing out the excuse and drawing a big fat line through it. Now write, this is why I’m actually not fill in the blank. Mine says this is why I’m actually not writing a book and then just see what spills out on paper and. Here was mine. This has nothing to do with not making space for writing a book. I’m afraid of what my peers are going to think of me when I publish a book. I’m worried that I won’t want to share about the book, because people will judge me and they won’t want to hear about it, or that they’ll think that I think I’m better than them, which is total crap. Keep writing until the truth is revealed. You might be surprised with what comes out. I certainly was. 

Megan Porta  10:26

Number four, rewrite your story. Once you have your actual fear written out on paper or fears, there might be multiple. I hope you will be able to see it for the absolute garbage story that it is when I saw that I’d written about being afraid what my peers would think, it felt gross, ew, if anyone would think negatively after writing a book, I wouldn’t want to be their friend anyway, don’t I want to have a circle of supportive humans who encourage me and lift me up? Yes. So here’s my garbage story rewritten. I’m eager to see how my peers will benefit from reading the book I’m about to write, knowing that my story will help to shape their successes. I am excited to share about its completion. When it’s done, the people who love and support me will love and support me now and once the book is published, that feels so good, it feels just right, because it’s truth and it also instills confidence in me to get started with this project. Take your fear of success, however that shapes out for you. Call out the garbage and rewrite the script, and number five, take action. By this point, it should be very clear what you need to do next in order to take action toward achieving your goal. I knew I needed to carve out a little time each day in my schedule. That was literally it. Once I did that, I sat down and brainstormed pretty quickly. I landed on a topic that I love, and I wrote an outline, then I started writing. It was as simple as that. Once I took action, I questioned, why in the world has it taken me so long to do this? It’s so silly. There’s no reason why a lie, a fear of upsetting my peers, held me back from starting a project that feels so important, that’s the power of this exercise. It reveals the truth so you can dispel the fears and the lies and move forward. 

Megan Porta  12:30

Fearing the things that come along with success is a legit reason a lot of us are not doing the things we should be doing. It seems totally crazy, but it’s so true. It’s time to call ourselves out, people. No more being afraid of the things that come along with success, because oftentimes those things won’t actually even happen. I really hope you go through this exercise, even if you feel like you don’t have a fear of success, and if you do go through the exercise, I would love to hear what comes out of it for you, and whether or not, it was surprising. 

Megan Porta  13:02

Let’s summarize the five steps to dispel the fear of success and all the garbage that comes along with it. Number one, what is the excuse? Two, get acquainted with the excuse. Three, what’s the real issue? Four, rewrite the story. And five, take action. There are certain projects and certain ventures in this world that you need to complete. You know deep in your gut what those things are. So stop allowing a fear of success to hold you back from achieving your dreams and serving other people in really big ways. I hope this episode is one that you save and come back to time and time again anytime you feel those confusing fears of success holding you back. You’ve got this thank you so much for listening. I will see you next week.

Outro 13:48 

Thank you so much for listening to this mindset and self-care episode here on Eat Blog Talk. If you are a food blogger providing a service for other food bloggers, and you want to spread the word about the value that you offer. I would love to offer you a free way to do just this. Send me a 60 second audio clip to be featured in a mindset and self-care episode here on Eat Blog Talk in 2024. Go to eatblogtalk.com/audioclip to learn more.