Episode 616: 5 Steps to Dealing With Feeling Like an Entrepreneurial Loser (Mindset & Self-Care)

EBT616 – 5 Steps to Dealing With Feeling Like an Entrepreneurial Loser

Intro  00:01

Hey food bloggers. Thank you so much for joining me in this mindset and self-care focused episode here on Eat Blog Talk. One of the reasons I started a blog talk was to hold a space to talk about the importance of mindset and self-care. Being an entrepreneur can be a lot. If we are not taking care of ourselves, then getting actionable information about SEO Pinterest or whatever else is all moot. I will meet you back here every Wednesday to discuss various mindset and self-care topics. So you have the energy and space to tackle the rest.

Sponsor (Jennifer Farley)  00:36

Hey, food bloggers if you’re looking to get more blog posts out into the world this year, I can help. I am Jen and I work behind the scenes as a ghostwriter for food bloggers, so you’re able to put all of your beautiful recipes out into the world. I optimize all posts in Rank IQ. And you’ll get great, helpful, SEO optimized content without any useless filler. And that’s written for humans to read. Whether you need to update old posts or create new ones, I’m your person. If you’re interested in more information, you can go to foodblogwriting.com and see a list of packages frequently asked questions and a link to get started. Again, that’s foodblogwriting.com. That will direct you to a landing page with all the information I hope to hear from you soon.

Megan Porta  01:14

Food bloggers. Hello. How is it going this week? I hope you’re having an amazing week. Thank you for joining me in this episode today, we’re going to talk about five steps to dealing with feeling like an entrepreneurial loser. This episode and this topic both resonate so very deeply with me. I have felt like a loser so many times in the 14 years I’ve been an entrepreneur. I’ve shared many examples of my failures and my dark moments in these mindset episodes and also here on the podcast, there have been dozens and dozens of times when it has felt like the rug has just been completely pulled out from beneath me, like there was no possible way to pick myself back up and move in a forward direction, like all of the entrepreneurial forces in the universe were conspiring against me, like there was no way I was meant to forge ahead and like I was the biggest loser in the world. If you are an entrepreneur long enough, you are bound to feel these feelings from time to time, unfortunately, and you will be met with that very untrue feeling that you are a loser. So coming from someone who truly understands this, I would love to talk to you about some things that have helped me when those I’m such a loser feelings come about. And I want to preface this just by saying that you are not a loser. I know how strongly those feelings can come on, and we can really believe them at times, but you are not a loser. You are an awesome entrepreneur. You are doing amazing things, and you are meant to be here in this world doing those things. This topic, by the way, came to me from one of my mastermind members, Mathea. Thank you for offering this up, mathia, because I love talking about this topic. 

Megan Porta  03:17

Okay, here is a doozy of a story I have never talked about on the podcast. In fact, I don’t even think I have told many people this story like at all ever, because it’s kind of embarrassing. When I attended my very first blogger conference many years ago, I don’t even know what year this was, I had a very loser-ish moment that I will never forget. First of all, just going into the conference, I was not connected to anybody at this point, so I was throwing myself into a situation that felt extremely uncomfortable. Plus, it was a massive conference where attendees were not really encouraged to connect. It was kind of weird. I feel like conferences now have a huge focus on that. But if this one back then, there definitely was not a focus on making connections. It was kind of clicky, like if you went in knowing people, you were great. If not, you were kind of on your own. This whole situation, just to being on my own, was really hard for me at the time, that sink or swim mentality just did not settle well with me. It didn’t work at all. So going into the conference, I thought my blog was doing really well at the time, but when I started talking to people sitting around my table one day, that first day, I realized that my blog numbers, my stats, were way behind other people, and just like that, I closed myself off. I felt like I didn’t belong. I didn’t know anyone. My numbers were minuscule compared to the people I’d been talking to there were things other people were doing that were nowhere on my radar. I didn’t even know what they were talking about. I felt clueless. I felt totally out of place. I can remember feeling those loser feelings so strongly, like it was nearly impossible to shake them. I actually considered flying home early after the first day, but I didn’t. That night, I was walking around the city by myself because I felt too loser ish to ask anyone to hang out with me. You guys, this is going to sound made up, because how could what I’m about to tell you actually have happened. But it actually happened. I had stocked up on business cards for the trip, anticipating handing out all 100 or 200 or however many, I had printed to my new friends. In my mind, I thought this was what was going to happen. In reality, that first day, I handed out maybe five business cards. So as I’m crossing the street to go from the hotel to just wander around the city. We’re downtown, I looked down to see one of my business cards lying in the middle of the street. One of the five cards I handed out was lying right there in the street and had tire tracks on it. It stopped me in my tracks. I will never forget looking down like, is this real? Am I actually looking at one of my own business cards in the middle of the street? Rock bottom loser moment. And Oh, have I had more so many more like when I lost 85 to 90% of my blog traffic overnight in 2018 or when I got kicked out of a big food blogger Facebook group felt like a huge loser then. Or the time I spent upward of six months creating a course that two people purchased, or that other time when I spent an entire winter creating an e book that my mom and my mother in law purchased, or Yeah, that one time when I spent 1000s of dollars on Facebook advertising without knowing what I was doing, and then realizing I should have just flushed that money right down the toilet. I could go on and on, but I will stop there. Very likely you have had moments too when you’ve had those, I’m a loser feelings. Maybe you’ve had massive traffic loss recently, or something else has brought you down. If you’ve been there, if you’ve had these feelings, then you know that you are a normal, functioning entrepreneur, and that this is part of your journey. Welcome to the world of entrepreneurship. Let’s talk through five steps to dealing with feeling like an entrepreneurial loser. 

Megan Porta  07:48

Number one, it is not personal. First and foremost, before anything else you think or do, just know that it is not personal. If you feel like a loser, it’s a sign that you’re taking action. You are doing, the things you’re showing up, you’re trying, you are making your way in the world. When something happens in your business that makes you feel like you’re lesser than others, know that it is not personal. My business card lying in the middle of the street that was not personal. It probably fell out of someone’s notebook unknowingly, even though at the time, it felt like it was intentionally put there just so I could see it and know what a huge loser I was. So if your traffic has taken a hit, or if your Instagram followers just will not budge, or if you lost your Facebook page forever, or you realize how far behind you are compared to everyone else. It has nothing to do with you. It is not personal. Do your very, very best to separate you from whatever has happened or whatever is not happening. See it more like an event that just happened in the unfolding of time. Nobody’s out to get you. Google doesn’t actually hate you. Pinterest isn’t trying to sink your business. I know it is so so very hard to do this, but when those loser feelings strike, remind yourself that this point in your journey is merely a stepping stone to greater things. It is not personal. 

Megan Porta  09:22

Number two, take responsibility, even when it feels like the whole world is conspiring against you and you just feel like the biggest loser. There’s usually something you could have done better or that you can do better in the future. Find what that is and own it with my conference situation where I felt like the biggest loser in the universe. There are definitely a lot of things I could have done so much better in retrospect, it took me a long time to learn what these things were, because I was so caught up in feeling sorry for myself and throwing a huge pity party. You don’t have to have such a long learning curve, ask yourself, What could I have done differently, or what can I do differently in the future to avoid this happening again? I can come up with a ton of things regarding my conference scenario. I could have embraced learning versus beating myself up for being behind or feeling like I was lesser than other people because my numbers weren’t what theirs were. I could have put myself out there more with people. I could have been more outgoing and friendly. I shied away from everyone at that conference. It was all on me. I could have been more interested in other people, just in their personal lives or in their businesses, and ask them questions, which I did not do. I again, was so into me and myself and my little pity party that I didn’t put myself out there. That is all on me. If you got hit by the HCU at some point over the past year, sit down and really evaluate. What can I do differently moving forward, so this does not happen again. Maybe you could diversify your traffic sources. You could lean into Pinterest or Facebook. You could diversify your income. And finally, I don’t know, launch the cooking class you’ve been dreaming about. You could start writing the cookbook of your dreams. You could connect with a high quality mastermind group, so you stay connected with high quality people and have that direct access to relevant information that’s going to help you find clarity. There’s always something you can take responsibility for in any situation. So do it. Even when I got booted from that Facebook group a few years ago, there were things I took responsibility for it prompted me to be really mindful of what I post all the time in all forums and groups, no matter what, and to just be more careful about what I say and where I say it. I think when we blame others, whether it’s a human or a platform or something else, it’s really easy to fall into negativity, and this creates this kind of loop where more icky things keep circling back to find you, but if you can take responsibility for what happened, that is where real positive change can take place. 

Megan Porta  12:16

Number three, connect with peers back when I felt like the number one loser of the world after that conference, everything would have been different if I had had a trusted circle of peers to talk to. Needless to say, I did not have this. This is one of the main reasons it is so important to get connected with other food bloggers and other entrepreneurs who get what you do and why you do what you do when things go south and you feel like you should be crown loser of the food blogging world, these trusted peers are going to tell you that it is normal to feel this way and that it means you are a true entrepreneur. They will talk you off the ledge. They’ll provide you with support and advice about how to move forward. Speaking from experience, here, it is a very long journey out of the darkness when you do not have peers to help pull you out some places to look for peers if you are seeking support in this area, Facebook groups or Instagram, reach out to the people who you feel connected with. This is how I met a lot of my close food blogging friends years ago, you can also ask people to join a mastermind group with you, or join one that somebody else has started, attend, retreats, conferences, summits, etc, as much as possible, as much as your budget allows and your calendar this one is huge for connecting with peers and remember not to make the same mistake I did by attending a retreat or conference, but not actually talking to people. You can also join the Eat Blog Talk accountability group. This is a really good, low cost place to start. Please just get started with something. Put yourself out there. Meet some peers who will support you in times of need, and who you can offer support to in return. 

Megan Porta  14:02

Number four, make a list of your accomplishments. This is kind of a quick fix that can pull you out of feeling like a loser in just a few minutes. I actually think all entrepreneurs should do this, and probably weekly at minimum, maybe even more, write down all of the things you have accomplished in your business in the past year. Let the words flow onto the paper. Do not skip a thing. And this really is one of those exercises where you just need to get started and trust the process. So pull out a piece of paper, pull out a blank Word doc, and just start. It might look something like this. 50 blog posts published in the past year, made it through photography course, doubled Pinterest traffic, created a new freebie for my eBook, connected with someone on a zoom call, signed up for an in person retreat, learned how to do keyword research, started publishing three times a week on Instagram, got a positive comment on a Facebook post, hired a writer. And on and on and on. It doesn’t matter how small or insignificant something seems, just get everything out and acknowledge every single accomplishment on your list. When you have a bunch of awesome stuff staring back at you, it makes it really hard to feel like a loser. 

Megan Porta  15:16

Number five, one step at a time towards your goals, keeping in mind what I said earlier about setbacks being a given part of your journey. Know that your travels to success will not be a straight line. After it’s all said and done, you will look back over the timeline of your entrepreneurial journey, and you will see ups, you’ll see downs, sometimes more downs than ups, but over time, you’ll have made progress because you didn’t give up. Don’t let the setbacks hold you back. Keep moving forward, one step at a time toward your goals and towards your dreams. Action is the antidote to feeling like a loser when you refuse to stop moving forward. Good things are bound to happen, providing you with that confidence, increase knowledge and skills and connections and support. Getting punched down from time to time is a given. So accept this, embrace this feeling like a loser, unfortunately, is also a given. From time to time on your timeline, get back up, pick yourself back up and keep moving forward.

Megan Porta  16:20

That is all I have for you. Let’s conclude and recap. In this episode, we talked about five practical ways to help entrepreneurs overcome those inevitable moments when they feel like a loser. We start by acknowledging that setbacks are a normal part of the journey, and knowing that nothing is personal. Every entrepreneur faces failures at some point and has those loser ish moments by taking responsibility, connecting with peers, recognizing accomplishments and continuing to move forward, entrepreneurs can navigate these times and come out stronger in the end, remember feeling like a loser does not define you as a human or an entrepreneur. It really matters how you respond to these feelings that will determine your success. So keep moving forward one step at a time. You’ve got this. Thank you so much for listening food bloggers. I will see you next week.

Outro 

Thank you so much for listening to this mindset and self-care episode here on Eat Blog Talk. If you are a food blogger providing a service for other food bloggers, and you want to spread the word about the value that you offer. I would love to offer you a free way to do just this. Send me a 60 second audio clip to be featured in a mindset and self-care episode here on Eat Blog Talk in 2024. Go to eatblogtalk.com/audioclip to learn more.