Episode 529: 5 Steps to Inviting More People into Your Life (Mindset & Self-Care)

EBT529 – 5 Steps to Inviting More People Into Your Life

Intro  00:01

Hey food bloggers. Thank you so much for joining me in this mindset and self-care focused episode here on Eat Blog Talk. One of the reasons I started a blog talk was to hold a space to talk about the importance of mindset and self-care. Being an entrepreneur can be a lot. If we are not taking care of ourselves, then getting actionable information about SEO Pinterest or whatever else is all moot. I will meet you back here every Wednesday to discuss various mindset and self-care topics. So you have the energy and space to tackle the rest.

Sponsor (Mika Kinney) 00:34

Are you a food blogger who is constantly trying to get new posts out update old ones and more? Let me help you. My name is Mika and I’m a fellow food blogger and experience freelancer, I can right format and upload high-quality helpful posts, articles and roundups to WordPress for you to publish. Each post is completely customized to your audience and your voice so there’s no skipping a beat with your readers. Plus the first project is always offered at 50% off just to make sure it’s the absolute best fit. For writing samples and more. Shoot me an email at [email protected] or you can find me at www.joytothefood.com. Look forward to chatting.

Megan Porta  01:16

Food bloggers, hello, welcome back to another self care and mindset episode of Eat Blog Talk. Before we start today, I just want to take a moment to say a sincere thank you for listening to these mindset episodes. I mean, thank you for listening to all episodes, of course. But this new format was definitely an experiment and has caused me to just put myself out there in a new way. It’s felt a little bit scary talking more about what goes on in the depths of my soul. So it means a lot when I receive positive feedback about these episodes. And I’ve definitely been getting it. So thank you, I really appreciate you listening.

Megan Porta  01:56

In today’s episode, we are going to talk about five steps to inviting more people into your life. Let’s talk about why. Why do you need more people? And I would say to that question, because you need people, people are everything. Even if you think you have a lot of people, you’re gonna want more people load up on the people, you will not be sorry, I promise. This is a good move for your life. But it’s also a good move for your business, which obviously plays into your life. Have you ever heard of the Blue Zones, those are the geographic areas in the world where the residents have lower rates of disease, depression, anxiety, all the bad things and a longer life expectancy. In a nutshell, they are the oldest and healthiest people in the world. From what I’ve read, there are a handful of factors that contribute to this but one of the main if not the main factor is people. Their strong family, and social networks contribute greatly to their happiness and longevity. Maybe you can relate to this when I think back to times in my life when I’ve been swarming in people. It aligns with the times when I was the happiest. To highlight the opposite of this, I have a little story I’d like to share with you. 

Megan Porta  03:22

My mom when she was alive had so many shining characteristics. She was such a beautiful person. She was the most creative and talented person I have ever known. She loved me so much. She was a really good mom to me and my sisters when we were kids. I remember she used to hand make these elaborate Halloween costumes for me. She would spend weeks and even months creating the most unique, beautiful costumes. Every year, people were in awe that a single human could make anything so incredible. She did that and so many other things like that from such a place of love and talent. She was amazing in so many ways. With that said her life definitely lacked some things. And now that the chapter of her life on earth has come to a close. It’s really easy for me to see that the lack of people she allowed into her life, did some really detrimental things to her not having people in her life atrophied her entire existence. There days when I wish I could just hop back into her timeline when she was alive in here with us and just shake her and just tell her you need people. Come on. This is going to make your life better. It’s going to help you live longer and it’s going to make you happier. I have to remind myself that her story helps to shape mine and many others. I see what having few people in her life did to her and I do not want that for myself or for my loved ones. Even before she passed I saw how this negatively impacted her life. So I personally have Have always hugely prioritize people. 

Megan Porta  05:03

Sometimes I feel like we get mad at our loved ones for not doing the right things or making good choices, when we should consider thanking them for teaching us important lessons in kind of a backwards kind of way. And this is what my mom did with me. And people. I think it was when my mom stopped working, that things went south with the whole people situation. She had worked in the medical field for most of her life when the doctor she was working for, died really unexpectedly. After that she didn’t want to go back into an office setting. So she worked from home doing a medical transcription for the last few decades of her life. When this started, it was really the beginning of the end for her. Around that time, she also chose a partner who was a massive homebody just like herself, and who did not push her to get out of the house ever. She literally never left home, aside from going to the grocery store, and maybe the pharmacy occasionally. And even that was a stretch. I remember one time I said hello to one of their neighbors when I was visiting. And she pulled me away by the arm and said, We don’t talk to neighbors. It’s kind of funny, but also really sad. And things just really got worse. From there, her mind and body literally atrophied and shrunk before our eyes, she did not have people to lift her up, or motivate her, or encourage her or distract her or love on her. After she passed away. We did not even have a memorial service for her because she didn’t have anyone who would have come. She had no people. Things could have been so different for her in the end if she had people. And this is not how I want to live my life. It’s not how I want my life to evolve. That is a really sad ending, and something I do not want to emulate for myself. 

Megan Porta  06:58

So what will including people in your life do for you and for your business. So let’s talk about that? In addition to extending your life, as evidenced by that Blue Zone situation, and those people that live there, having a huge network of people will do the following. It will increase your competence, it will make you less anxious. It’ll provide healthy distractions, so you can obsess about those insignificant details of life, aka drama. It’ll make you an overall happier human, it will increase the chances of business opportunities falling into your lap. It’ll help you improve communication skills. It’ll keep you sharp. It’ll help you keep a positive perspective for your life and for your business. It will also improve the likelihood of being in better physical shape. It will help you maintain a positive attitude and mindset. It’ll help you have more fun. And it will provide opportunities for business collaborations and partnerships. And it’ll bring clarity to your life and business challenges. Just to name a few. There are so many other benefits of having people but I wanted to list out a few awesome things. So let’s get more people into our lives. So we can reap all of those amazing benefits. 

Megan Porta  08:20

Let’s talk through five steps to inviting more people into your life. Number one, send the invitation. If you have made the decision to have more people in your life, then you have to invite them. I’m not talking about actual invitations to guests yet. We’ll talk about that in a little bit. I’m referring to just putting it out there and saying to God, the universe, whoever your higher power is, I invite more high quality people into my life. Notice I added the high quality because you don’t want to invite just any old horde of people into your life. You want good people, you want high quality people. So be really specific. When you do put it out there. I always use the acronym QUEST. When describing the type of people I want to flood into my life. And that stands for Quality, Uplifting, Encouraging, Smart and Kind. Use the descriptors you feel aligned with and invite. If that seems too simplistic, do it and see what happens. I challenge you with that. Ask and you shall receive is a line Jesus said in the Bible and it speaks so much truth. The words you say and the thoughts you think equal your life. If you invite high quality people to your party, high quality people are going to show up and maybe you want more of a business focus on people which is great too. Because adding high quality people to your list of business peers is going to do so many good things for your business, especially in the long term. 

Megan Porta  09:57

Since starting Eat Blog Talk I have made a lot of new business contacts, well over 500, because that’s how many guests I’ve had on the podcast. So many good things have happened in my business since then this is not a fluke, the people have had a lot to do with this. So if creating more business success is one of your main goals, then invite those business people in. Your invitation could just be I invite tons of high quality people into my business, whatever your invitation is, say it often and say it with purpose. When I am feeling especially convicted about needing more people in my life, or my business, I put my invitation everywhere. I write it in my journal, every day, I plaster it on post it notes all over my home. And when I read it, or think about it, I do so with so much gratitude and excitement, decide what your invitation is, choose your words carefully and put the invitation out there.

Megan Porta  10:53

Number two, prepare the room. Just like with any party, you are wrangling together, you have to prepare the room for your people to arrive. I talked a little bit about this concept in one of my recent money episodes. If you invite good things into your life, whether it’s things or money, or people or vacations or whatever, there has to be room for those things to go. I’ve done this plenty of times where I will put the invitation out there. So I’m ready for a boat load of high quality people, whatever it is, the people start coming because of my invitation and I get overwhelmed, I was not ready for them. I basically invited people to a party. And then when they showed up at my door, I told them to go home when I’ve extended that invitation, and I suddenly see that the people are showing up that looks like extra emails and abundance of texts or DMS, invitations to parties, events, outings of some sort. That’s all such good stuff. But at times, I have been overwhelmed by these extra invitations and attention. The extra emails can give me anxiety because I have issues with my inbox anyway. So I wouldn’t respond to those right away, I would put them aside, the texts or DMS would make me feel almost resentful that I had to look at my phone longer than I wanted to. And for the invitations to events, I sometimes just felt too tired to attend them. Recognizing what was going on, I started to do things a little bit differently. And I started preparing the room. Now I try to set 15 minutes aside every day for I call them awesomeness emails, I actually have a label in my email called awesomeness. This falls outside the realm of other standard emails. Awesomeness emails are the ones I get from listeners, members, users or friends who reach out just because and usually to say something nice. These people have responded to my invitation. So I want to show up for them. I give them the time they deserve. I sit down and I write a thoughtful reply back to them. After all, I did invite them to reach out in the first place. So they deserve my thoughtful reply. I have a few tips for this one because you might know by now that I don’t like looking at my phone any more than I need to. So tip number one if you are an Apple user, use the Messages app on your computer to reply to texts. I love doing this. It’s a billion times faster than typing out messages on your phone. And tip number two when replying to DMS. Or if you have friends without an iPhone, and need to actually text out your replies, record an audio message instead. I love doing this too. Not only is it easier, it’s so much more personal. And people love that personal touch. 

Megan Porta  13:47

Marco Polo is another quick and easy way to stay in touch with friends. If you don’t like texting, if you receive invitations to events that just wear you out thinking about them or make you want to run and hide. There are a few things you can do to prepare the room. So you actually want to get out of the house. Generally taking care of yourself. So getting enough rest, working out, establishing a good morning routine, meditating, doing those things that you know you need to do to feel good. Those things are going to help set you up for success with this. You can also try setting boundaries with your calendar. Don’t over commit by saying yes to absolutely everything. So every fundraiser event for your kids, etc. I recently had to put a limit on this with our chess kid because oh my goodness, there are so many volunteering opportunities. And the coach was very aggressive with asking us to volunteer which is great, but I just had to put a limit on it because I couldn’t do this every week, week after week all through the year. Also place proper self care in your calendar. So you you’re filled up, and you feel ready to show up and love on others when that time comes. Those times when I’m taking good care of myself align with the times that I’m eager to spend time out of the house with friends or loved ones. Maybe you start with committing to just 15 minutes a day to prepare the room for people who have replied to your party invite whether it’s texting people back, pausing in the street to chat with your neighbor for a few minutes, or replying to the nice email that was sent to you. 

Megan Porta  15:29

Number three, express gratitude. No matter what the topic is, if there is something you want more of in your life, there is no quicker way in my opinion, to bring it to you than through the power of gratitude. You already have people in your life, who you love, and who love you and who you are deeply grateful for. So do this daily write down the names of those people. As you look at each name that you write down, picture them in your mind, allow yourself to feel a deep love and gratitude for them, almost to the point where it makes you feel emotional. This is a simple, yet very powerful exercise. There’s this exercise I do every single time I’m filling a group of some sort for a blog talk, whether it’s a retreat, or a mastermind group or something else. I seem to always get to this point where it feels like where are the people? Why aren’t they showing up? That is my cue to stop and express gratitude. Let’s say it’s a mastermind group that I’m trying to fill to 12 people, I will write down the names of every person who has signed up for the group so far, even if it’s just a couple, I look at the names and I say thank you, June. Thank you, Barbara. Thank you, Lucy, when doing this thinking about the lack of people is not an option for me. I only allow myself to focus on the immense gratitude I have for each of these people who have trusted me enough to sign up for the group. You guys, this works every single time. Immense gratitude for the people who are in your life will bring more people try it, you will watch the magic unfold, I promise. Fight that temptation to focus on the lack of people by expressing immense gratitude for the people who are there. 

Megan Porta  17:21

Number four host the stuff, you’ve sent the invitation out to the universe, you’ve prepared the room and you’ve expressed gratitude. Now it’s time to take action. Go host something, if you host frequently already, try hosting something a little bit different, and maybe with a different group of people. If you do not host frequently, this might feel a little bit out of your comfort zone. And it doesn’t have to be something hosted in your home. Although it can be. It could be as simple as inviting a friend out to dinner, I so strongly believe that we are rewarded for doing those things that feel out of our comfort zone. So whatever you invite people to do with you make it something that feels a little uncomfortable. Doing this is sending a message out to the universe that you are taking action you are making things happen. Even if it is just with one person, even when it’s slightly uncomfortable, and you are ready for more the universe/God takes action seriously. You have turned wishing, wanting and desiring into movement. 

Megan Porta  18:22

Number five, show up as the best version of you. Once the people start flooding in and even before they start flooding in, show up as the best, most sincere version of yourself. Treat people how you would like to be treated. Be a good listener when people talk to you. Don’t make everything all about you. Show a genuine interest in people’s lives and in their businesses. Be kind, be complimentary and compassionate. Reach out to people unexpectedly just because people love this. Here’s another little thing that people love, say their name when you talk to them. Have you ever noticed how people respond to that it’s really powerful. Be the friend, the business peer, whatever that you want to have. And you will attract that same type of person back to yourself. Also just take good care of yourself that will trickle down and make you a better friend or business associate. I used to have social anxiety pretty badly to the point where I was so worried about how I was being perceived that I would miss large chunks of what people were actually saying to me, I’d start repeating questions that I’d already asked her that they’d already answered and I would feel so bad and stupid honestly. And I would spiral into this dark place where I felt like I didn’t deserve friends. I wasn’t a good friend bla bla bla. So taking really good care of myself in recent years has basically fix this problem. I do what I need to do to minimize anxiety. For me that is exercise and meditation etc. So when I’m talking to people now I’m actually listening to them and hearing everything that they’re are saying, I am a way better friend now that I know how to take care of myself than I was before. Some of the things in this category might not come naturally for you. And that’s okay, just work on things little by little to become the best version of you. So you’re showing up as a really good listener and really good genuine friends. 

Megan Porta  20:22

Let’s do a quick recap of the five steps to inviting more people into your life. Number one, send the invitation, put it out there. Number two, prepare the room. Three, express gratitude. Four host the stuff and five show up as the best version of you as you can. If you’re interested in reading books about ways that you can better interact with people. I have a people category at eatblogtalk.com/books, and all of these are really good options. You want more people in your life, trust me you do. Even if you feel like you have a lot so go out and get those people bring them in and make sure they’re high quality people and your life and your business will be better because of it.

Megan Porta  21:07

Thank you so much for listening food bloggers. I hope you enjoyed this episode. I will see you back here next week. 

Outro  21:13

Thank you so much for listening to this mindset and self-care episode here on eat blog talk. If you are a food blogger providing a service for other food bloggers, and you want to spread the word about the value that you offer. I would love to offer you a free way to do just this. Send me a 60 second audio clip to be featured in a mindset and self-care episode here on Eat Blog Talk in 2024. Go to eatblogtalk.com/audioclip to learn more.