Episode 620: Practical Tips to Manage Your Inner Critic and Cultivate Self-Compassion to Overcome Burnout as a Parent with Michelle Puster

EBT620 – Michelle Puster

Intro 00:10

Food bloggers. Hi, how are you today? Thank you so much for tuning in to the Eat Blog Talk podcast. This is the place for food bloggers to get information and inspiration to accelerate your blog’s growth, and ultimately help you to achieve your freedom. Whether that’s financial, personal, or professional. I’m Megan Porta. I have been a food blogger for 13 years, so I understand how isolating food blogging can be. I’m on a mission to motivate, inspire, and most importantly, let each and every food blogger, including you, know that you are heard and supported. 

Supercut  00:37

You are going to want to download our bonus super cut that gives you all the information you need to grow your Instagram account. Go to eatblogtalk.com/Instagrowth to download today. 

Megan Porta  00:52

If you are listening, you are likely an entrepreneur and very possibly also a parent, which means you have probably experienced some form of depression, anxiety and or burnout. Michelle Puster, from compassionate heart, mindful life, joins me in this amazing interview to talk about self compassion as we navigate being an entrepreneur and being a parent, because it can be hard, as you might know, Michelle gives some really great tips for stopping yourself in the moment when you’re just feeling that angst and that overwhelm, so you can reset and react the way you want to react. She talks a lot about meditation. She also has an acronym to share that can help snap you out of those overwhelmed moments. Overall, this chat is so needed in our space as parents and entrepreneurs, we need to stop being so hard on ourselves and to embrace self compassion so we can do all the things we want to do in our businesses and in life. It is such a great episode. I hope you love it. It is number 620 sponsored by RankIQ. 

Sponsor  02:03

Hey, we have spots available for the 2025, mastermind groups, and I want to give you a chance to grab one of them. A question I get a lot from people interested in joining the mastermind is, what kinds of results am I going to get? Results always come, although sometimes in unexpected ways, for more information and to apply go to eatblogtalk.com/mastermind in this following clip, current member Christina, from When Salty and Sweet Unite, talks about some of the results she has seen in her business. “So like my blog stats have grown. My interest views have grown. So yeah, those two things, I mean, they’ve grown a lot, and I think part of that has to do with getting in the call, the initial call with Megan and like, that goal setting, like, hey, focus on this for the month, this for the week, this for the day, right? And then she’s very good at that, right? She is. And then, oh, my God, my Pinterest views, pre Megan, I think they were at two to 3000 a month, and now they’re at 15,000.”

Megan Porta  03:07

Michelle is a mom of three kiddos and is a marriage and trauma therapist and most recently a podcaster/blogger. On her podcast and blog she shares her true life story of recovery from parenting burnout using mindfulness, mediation, and self-compassion. Hello, Michelle. Welcome to the podcast. How’s it going today? 

Michelle Puster  03:27

Good. Thank you so much for having me. I’m really excited to be here.

Megan Porta  03:31

Yay. I’m so excited to chat about this. This is a hugely important topic for us as entrepreneurs and food bloggers, before we get into self compassion, though? Do you have a fun fact to share about yourself?

Michelle Puster  03:43

Yes, I grew up on a farm. It was a pork farm and cattle and grain. Grain farm. 

Megan Porta  03:54

Where? Where was this farm

Michelle Puster  03:55

in Missouri? So my dad was a full time farmer, and we have like, a centennial farm, which means the farm’s been in our family for over 100 years. So it’s pretty cool. It’s a pretty cool place to grow up.

Megan Porta  04:11

That’s so cool. I grew up in rural Iowa, very, very rural, so very familiar with those farms, the old farms, too. It’s so cool, and they’ve been around that long, but cool. So your farm is still going strong.

Michelle Puster  04:25

Yes, now my brother is, I mean, my dad still helps, but my dad, my brother now is kind of taken over, and they actually now have goats. So they’ve gotten out of cattle, out of hogs, and they’re doing goats and grain.

Megan Porta  04:40

Oh, wow. So quite the transformation over the years. Cool.

Michelle Puster  04:45

Follow the trends, I guess. Yes, right, right. Pivot.

Megan Porta  04:48

They are great pivoters. They’re examples for the rest of us. Awesome. Well, today we are going to talk about self compassion. I think this is so huge to tap. Into right now, in this kind of crazy world we’re in, to start, I think it would be really good to hear a little bit about your business. Tell us about Compassionate Heart, Mindful Life, how you started, why you started? Anything you want to impart. 

Michelle Puster  05:16

Sure. So I mean, I really started putting content together and putting it out there for people to actually see less than a year ago. But the idea and kind of like, you know, going and creating the business name and stuff was probably like two years ago. And your listeners will appreciate this, because that’s how I found you was through like, how do I blog and what’s blogging about. And sometimes I get, you know, I want to hear other people’s perspective, not just other therapists perspective. So I loved your podcast, and like learning about food bloggers, it’s so cool, because I use your all’s content all the time, and it’s like I have this insight into this other world that most people don’t know about, which is really cool. So, yeah, I started it, like the content part. I what I was gonna say was I wrote blogs every day during the summer for like, one summer, I just, I actually wrote like a outline, and then I went and got like a I made a book so I could, like, hand write it, because just typing it felt like work, but handwriting, it felt like more therapeutic and more like a creative outlet. So every morning in the summer, you know, my I would let my kids do screen time, and I would sit on my patio and write this, and the part of the reason I was doing it was to prove to myself that I had enough to say, that I could actually, like, you know, put content out there for more than just, like, oh, I wrote a blog and oh, that’s kind of the end of it. So I wanted to, like, really see if I had enough to say, that it would be really helpful and and luckily, I did. And the reason I was wanting to write the blogs is because I went through this really painful period of time in my life where I am kind of prone to depression and anxiety. Anyhow, I feel like I’m just kind of wired that way. It’s definitely runs in my family. But after I had my third child, I have twins, and then I have another that’s less than two years younger than them. So I had three kids under the age of three, three kids under the age of five at another point, and it was rough, and that period of time triggered a major depressive episode.

Megan Porta  07:36

Oh, I’m sorry. 

Michelle Puster  07:38

Thank you. 

Megan Porta  07:39

And that was before you started your business, correct? 

Michelle Puster  07:43

Yeah, this was, like seven years ago.

Megan Porta  07:46

But fresh on your mind, because those things are, are traumatic. So I’m sure it’s stuck with you. 

Michelle Puster  07:52

Yes, for sure. And and all the while I was, I’m also a therapist in private practice, so I was, like, part of me was observing myself and like what I was going through, and I was, you know, like, I’m a self help junkie, and so I’m always, you know, for work, I’m reading about stuff for my, you know, pleasure, quote, unquote. I mean, I do enjoy reading it. Other people might not feel the same way about taking in self help information, but so I was constantly thinking about and learning about what was happening with me. And so I discovered burnout, and it fit with my experience, like I was having parent burnout, in addition to depression and anxiety and they, you know, just all created a really difficult situation, and then after I found my way out of it, I felt like, gosh, I learned so much from this terrible, painful experience. I wanted to share it with other parents, because one the worst part was I felt deeply alone and ashamed. I felt like I was the only one, and as I got better, I realized that’s not true. And of course, in my work with other couples and clients, I know from working with them, it’s not true, but just even bigger, you know, outside of my little bubble of work. And so I really want other parents to know that they’re not alone and that there is help and that there is hope.

Megan Porta  09:23

Oh gosh, I love your mission. I love your message. Don’t you feel like a lot of I think especially moms, carry this, and they maybe don’t even know it, like it’s just ingrained in us that this is how life is. It’s supposed to be stressful, it’s supposed to be hard, but it doesn’t have to be that hard? Do you feel like that is a message we’re hearing?

Michelle Puster  09:44

Yeah. I mean, I think that there’s another part. Is just like, if I do, if there, if I does, feel really hard, then there’s something wrong with me, like, I must not be trying hard enough. I must not be doing enough. And so I think there is some of that. Just like, well, it’s gonna be hard, and I just have to sort of suffer through it. And then there’s a lot of like, you know, we don’t really share sometimes, even with the people we’re closest to, how much we’re really struggling, yeah. And so a lot of us look at our friends and look at other people in our lives, and we think, Well, I must be the one that’s broken, because everybody else seems to be okay when really we’re often not sharing how much we’re suffering even with the people that we’re closest to. So we’re comparing our insides to other people’s outsides, and we always are, you know, falling short.

Megan Porta  10:38

Oh, I feel this so much. I feel like I’m very prone to, like you said earlier, kind of that depression and anxiety I can and burn out. I get there occasionally, and it’s hard, and I feel hesitant to tell a lot of people. I mean, I’ve actually been very vocal about it this year on the podcast, which has felt really good. But prior to that, it’s been really hard for me to talk to even close friends about it, because I feel like I’m I don’t want to be negative. I don’t want to be burdening them. I don’t know. I don’t want them to feel like, oh, I have to fix her or something like that. Do you ever get those feelings?

Michelle Puster  11:17

Oh my gosh, yes, for sure. And I feel like I, you know, and when I was in the worst part of it, I was really isolated. And even as a therapist, at that point, I hadn’t, I don’t think I was in therapy, or at least not something that had found useful yet. And, and I don’t know how much I really talked about this particular like these particular things. And so, yeah, I wouldn’t talk to my closest friends about how I was really feeling. And sometimes even I wouldn’t talk to my, you know, if I was in therapy, wouldn’t really go that deep. So it didn’t feel that helpful. And honestly, it wasn’t until I but that was part of my recovery, and way out of parent burnout, was getting support, and it was unconditional support, where it didn’t have advice unless I asked for it, and I didn’t feel judged. So I ended up going finding a parent coach, because that’s the area that I was really felt like I was where I was suffering. Was it all of my feelings were like coming out around my parenting, you know what I mean? And actually, I got a supervisor for my couples therapy. So now, because I did have feelings about that, and I did feel like I was failing at times. So you know, my bad feelings did come out in other areas of my life. So I ended up getting a parenting coach, and that helps me in my parenting struggles. I got a supervisor, and that helped me feel like more grounded and confident in my couples therapy work, and then I also got went to couples counseling with my husband, because one, I wanted to, like, do the flip side of the coin, like I wanted to be on the other side of the couch, but also we needed support as well. So I got support in that area of my life. So that was like a huge first step in breaking out of the isolation, was getting myself support and the areas of my life that I desperately needed support. 

Megan Porta  13:18

So step one is recognizing that you’re you know you need some sort of help, right? Or that you are going through this and not ignoring it, not repressing it. Step two, get the help you need. I love the things you mentioned about the place, different places you’re getting help from, like the parent. What did you call it? A parent

Michelle Puster  13:39

Parent coach. 

Megan Porta  13:40

Parent coach, I don’t even I didn’t know that existed, but yeah, Sign me up. I would have had a parent coach. One of my kids were little. That sounds amazing. So does the parent coach. How is that structured? How does that all work?

Michelle Puster  13:55

I found my person through hand in hand of like, she’s a hand in hand parenting coach, and actually, she has a podcast. Her name’s Helena Mooney, and I was listening to her podcast, and I was loving it, and I was like, you know, there’s no way that she’d have space for me, but I’ll just reach out, like, just in case. And she did have space, and it was and I was so grateful because she provided that she listened unconditionally, and, you know, didn’t judge me, or wasn’t like, oh my gosh, what’s wrong with you? Like, we need to make sure. Like, I don’t know. She just was very understanding. Like, of course you’re struggling, of course you’re under resourced. And I kept like, I finally heard through listening to her that it wasn’t my fault, that I wasn’t a failure. It wasn’t like that I needed to do more, that my circumstances were really difficult, and for some reason that was like, I didn’t get that. I really thought I should be able to do it all. I really believed I should be able to, you know, work crazy hours. Have three kids, you know, if I just like, didn’t like, took care of myself enough, I should be able to do it all and have no problem. And she was like, Um, no, you know, that’s just really, really hard, what you’re trying to do, and not having, like, family support. We lived out of state from our families, so Oh, and how it was structured. So yeah, then I talked to her, like once every two weeks, individually, maybe even weekly, initially. And now I still work with her, but like, in a group. So it’s like I get to have that experience of having hearing from other parents who have similar feelings, similar struggles, and it’s invaluable.

Megan Porta  15:40

Yeah, that sounds amazing. I love that, because it’s so simple. Sometimes we just need to hear that what we’re doing is crazy. It’s a lot, right? Because you’re right, we do tend to think, Well, it seems like everyone else is doing this with grace. I should be able to do it too. And then we get so hard on ourselves, we start judging ourselves so harshly. So having that outside perspective, oh, my goodness, I think that could go such a long way for so many of us. 

Michelle Puster  16:10

Yes, yes. 

Megan Porta  16:11

Yeah. So this definitely relates to business, because if you’re a parent, you are extra taxed most likely and trying to run a business simultaneously is hard. I’ve done it. I don’t know how I got through some of those years, honestly looking back, so this all kind of correlates with each other. So if you’re listening, you probably have a business. Maybe you have children too. So starting with just having more self compassion for ourselves, recognizing it, getting help where we need to and then what are some other things we can do?

Michelle Puster  16:49

Well, meditation really helped me, like, in addition to the depression that I was experiencing, the thing that, like, made bother me the most was that I would be really edgy and sharp and short, short with my kids, and sometimes I would even yell. And of course, as a therapist, I’m like, in my head thinking about how bad this is and how harmful This is, maybe even, like, you know, more worried than what was really warranted. But either way, I was very bothered by it, which ended up being good thing, because it helped me make changes. But initially I felt really ashamed. So one thing I’ll say, for those, and you’ve talked about meditation on your podcast, which I love, because I love, yeah, meditation is for everyone. So I was like, in desperation. I was like, oh, okay, I’ll do it. I’ll meditate for 30 minutes a day for a month, and I’ll just see. You know, if it makes any difference, because I was reading in a parenting book, you know, if you like, how, what’s something you can do that helps your mood and helps you more patient and blah, blah, blah, just this pill, but it takes 30 minutes to take. And she was talking about meditation. Okay, I’ll do it. I’ll do it. And you know what, after 30 days, it expanded my window of tolerance, my my bandwidth, my fuse, if you will, dramatically. It was so worth it that it concreted like I’ve been I’ve meditated ever since not I don’t meditate for 30 minutes every day. That’s not the case. But and also, the thing is, you do not have to be easily focused on the breath or whatever your focus point is, because I can, you know, after two breaths, I’m thinking about something else. After five breaths, I’m thinking about something else. And the good thing is, I still got the benefits, even though my mind is like monkey brain all over the place. So that was one huge thing. And in the meditation world, there’s also a lot of education around self compassion. So it was kind of like opening this door up to self compassion and learning about self compassion like I learned a lot through Kristin Neff’s work. And one of the things that would happen when I was like, I would catch myself and not yell, but then I would go away and pause, but I would be really ashamed. I’d be really ashamed that I got so upset. I’d be really ashamed I’d have this whole story in my head about how so and so would never get so upset, how they’d be so patient and kind and loving with their kids. In reality, everyone gets upset with their kids. Everyone has bad days. Yeah, right. But when you’re in that kind of stuck state of mind, like for me, it was parent burnout and depression, you can have this really convincing story that’s not true, that you really believe in the moment. So this story was very harmful, because I felt really ashamed, and so I started using self compassion as a way out of those painful moments. Because the other thing that would happen is I would get really down, and then I would distance myself emotionally for my kids, like I would just be kind of down, and you know, it would be harder for me to come back and engage with. Them and smile with them. They’d have moved on, like, happy, you know, doing their kid thing. So I’m just like, yes, exactly they’re, they’re naturally, like, more present than we are, aren’t they? So I started using self compassion to honor the feeling that I was having, and then kind of give myself care around it. 

Michelle Puster  20:21

So one of them, for example, is a RAIN practice. And this one I learned from Tara Brock. And rain stands for, recognize, allow, and I change the I to interconnected. And then n is nurture, need. So recognizes. I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’m struggling. This is a moment of struggle. This is a moment. This is what overwhelm feels like. Like I might be feeling sensations in my body. Of you know, maybe my heart’s beating faster, maybe my breath is shallower, maybe I feel like all tense and tight. So recognize, this is a moment of struggle. This is a moment of overwhelm, and then A allow. Oftentimes we judge ourselves for feeling this way. Hey, like we might recognize it, and then kind of start beating ourselves up. I shouldn’t feel this way. So and so would never feel this way. Or we just push it away. We don’t want to feel it naturally, so we just, like, push it away and try to not feel it essentially right. But they say, whatever we whatever we resist, persist. So it doesn’t work in the long term if we try to push it away. So allow there’s a meditation teacher, Jeff Warren, that says, Welcome to the party. So it’s like, All right, welcome to the party. Overwhelm, here we are. Yeah, my good friend. Overwhelm, and I kind of I have this scene in my mind that I use when I think about allow. Did you see the movie Inside Out? 

Megan Porta  21:54

Love that movie.

Sponsor  21:56

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Michelle Puster  22:36

So the characters in there like it’s all her emotions, right? So I like character. I make a character of myself in my imagination, of like, angry Michelle. Oh, my overwhelmed Michelle, and I invite that part of me to a bonfire, essentially, like, I like camping. I like sitting around a fire, and it’s like, Hey, I’m there’s space for all of my emotions. I don’t have to push them away. I don’t have to be yanked around by them. I don’t have to let them be in control. But I also don’t have to push them away because they’re not going anywhere, and they’re not good and bad in and of themselves. They’re just uncomfortable, right? Yeah, they’re just not great to always feel. So I say, Welcome to the party overwhelm. And I picture this part of, you know, this character, Michelle, who’s, like, really overwhelmed and just like, beside herself, and she and I, like, even I’ll, like, put a blanket around her, give her a cup of tea, and just be like, you’re welcome here.

Megan Porta  23:37

Oh yeah, because you’re right when you resist that doesn’t that just create so much more turbulence and shame and like, confusion and all the icky feelings. But if you can just welcome them to the party exactly like what they do in inside out, where they have the scene of the head right, and they’ve got, like, a panel of people like the Yeah, anger and joy and like, everyone’s sitting there and nobody’s telling them to leave. They’re all welcome. Yeah, yep, that’s so great.

Michelle Puster  24:12

The I is interconnected. So I think of this as this part came from Kristin Neff. It’s kind of remembering that we are not alone, and that is an antidote to shame, and when we feel isolated, so interconnected, I remind myself, it’s normal to feel overwhelmed as a parent. It’s normal to feel, you know, thinking I was thinking about your listeners, like some people might work full time jobs and then also be doing this on the side, or they might be doing this as their full time job, or maybe they just jumped over and quit their full time job. Or they’re just starting out, and they’re trying to, like, gain enough traction where you don’t have traction yet, but you’re trying to believe in yourself, like, those are all potentially stressful and scary situations. So I try to, like, remind myself and picture other parents like struggling, like it’s normal to struggle. There’s probably another parent right now struggling. It’s normal for this to feel like a lot, and that really calms my nervous system, like I it’s lit, like I feel my body just like I can just breathe, knowing that I’m not alone, because the negative story is, there’s something wrong with me. I’m the only one, so it’s very much an antidote to that. And then the n is, need nurture. Like, what does this part of me need that’s struggling? Sometimes I need to sometimes I’ll text my husband, like, if it’s a crazy situation, I might text him like crazy emojis that are amusing, that kind of helps me shift my mind. I might text my parenting coach. I might text a friend. I might tell myself like it’s reasonable to feel this way. It’s okay. Maybe I’ll just lay on my bed for 60 seconds before I go on with my day. So the nurture need is like open ended, right? We all need different things in those difficult moments.

Megan Porta  26:05

I love that. I’ve just recently heard this acronym, you said it was from Tara Brock, right? Yeah. And I practiced this very thing, which is so crazy, just a couple weeks ago, and I don’t remember I got this part of it. Maybe it was from her, but somebody was saying, maybe it was on a podcast. They were saying, like, if you don’t know what you’re overwhelmed, or whatever needs, just ask and then get quiet, and an answer might come to you. So I did that. I don’t think I was talking about overwhelm. It was maybe it was something similar, but I asked it like, what do you need for me? And it just said, like, I need a hug, or I need love. And I was like, oh, instead of being angry and kicking you aside, I just imagined myself hugging it like you with your you know, like creating an actual persona of it and just giving it a hug. And it helped so much. It’s crazy, but this really does work. If you are feeling overwhelmed or burnout, or, I don’t know, there’s so many things we feel as entrepreneurs, as women, right?

Michelle Puster  27:18

Yes, yeah. And I like the acronym, because, you know, when your brain is triggered, it’s hard to think like your prefrontal cortex is offline. You can’t think, you don’t you can’t remember things. And so it’s helpful to have something like that’s quick and easy that I you can, like, go through, and it’s an antidote to all of the you know, it’s something else, literally, for your brain to focus on and think through, other than the you know, downward spiral of thoughts that are probably, you know, pretty familiar if we get stuck in these patterns, like we often notice like, oh yeah, I kind of have the same thoughts most times when I feel down, or most times when I feel anxious, or most times when I feel overwhelmed.

Megan Porta  28:00

I do get in that kind of paralyzed mindset where I just feel stuck or frozen, where it’s like nothing helps, but having something simple like this to pull you out of it is super helpful. Or just committing to like five minutes or 10 minutes of meditation when you feel overwhelmed, just having something to go to, or someone to go to, maybe when you notice it, right? Because I don’t know, do you feel that paralyzed feeling as well, just like there’s nothing I can do right now?

Michelle Puster  28:33

Yes, it’s and it’s really overwhelming and, of course, defeating, right? And actually, that’s one of the the things I created for for parents that come to my site is, I call it a rage break, and it’s basically a guided audio pause. And I think, like, part of the things that was hard about starting this new business is I was really nervous that trying to balance two businesses, I would get stuck in burnout again. And I notice, like, if I’m working at home, which I try not to do, but it happens, of course, and my kids come in like, I feel that tense, edginess. And so it’s a guided audio pause for when you feel on edge with your kids and you feel like yelling, or maybe you just snapped at them, but you want to course correct. You want to, like, take a moment and really, like, you need a guided someone to guide you through it because you’re so overwhelmed or frustrated that or you don’t know what to do, right? So I created this guided audio pause for parents and just those moments when you’re like, I don’t know what to do. I just don’t wanna keep doing this thing that’s not working. So you don’t have to do it alone, and you can, like, put me in your little ear and listen and kind of find your calm and then regroup and come back to your family, or come back to whatever you’re trying to do with a little bit more balance and a little bit, hopefully, a little bit more use.

Megan Porta  29:58

Press play. That’s all you have to do. So. Stop and press play, yes and go from there. All right. Do you have any other advice for parents slash entrepreneurs? A lot of us are parents, and we’re juggling a lot. Any other advice comes to mind? 

Michelle Puster  30:15

Well, I love the book Burnout, by Emily and Amelia Nagowski. If you haven’t heard of it. 

Megan Porta  30:21

I haven’t. 

Michelle Puster  30:22

It is phenomenal. I told one of my clients about it, and she bought it for like, all the women in her life. I think it’s just and for all your listeners that are men, I would encourage you to read it as well, because even though it is written for women, would think most of it, like 90% of it is applicable to men as well, because it’s completing the stress response cycle. So she’s a scientist, and she explains really clearly, not in a scientific way, but like, really clearly, what happens for us and how our stress response cycle gets triggered, and how we live with the stress in our body and how we need to complete the stress response cycle in order to let the stress, like, move through us and not have this kind of, like, store up of stress that sort of like just sitting in our body creating tension and harm. 

Megan Porta  31:18

Oh, like it’s a block almost for all good things. That’s how burnout does feel, if I had to put words to it, just like all the good things that I know in my life, creativity, love, joy, all of those things go away and it feels so hard to access them when I’m in burnout. I need this book.

Michelle Puster  31:40

Yes, it’s an awesome book, and they even made a workout. They’re identical twin sisters, and she has other she’s actually a sex educator. So she has other great books on the other topic, but this one, she wrote for burnout, because she saw from like, doing so many interviews with women and working that this was a common experience that people were like, hey, I want to know more about this from her first book. Come as You Are, because there was, like, a little part in it. And so she wrote this book with her twin sister, and it’s amazing book, and it’s really helpful to remember, because you know, some of the ways that you can complete this stress response cycle are all the things that you talk about in your podcast like and you’re moving your body is the huge one. Also, meditation, sleep, connecting with people. These are all ways that we can complete the stress response cycle. And yeah, we definitely need to, because otherwise it just it does. It stays with us.

Megan Porta  32:39

And I’ve been through periods of just having that stay with me for a long time, and at the time it’s confusing, like, Why is this still here? So it’s interesting to know or to hear you say that you know you need to complete it. That makes sense. Now I feel like I’ve gotten really good at burnout. Unfortunately, like I’ll see it coming. I can feel it, and then I’m there, and then I know I just need to buckle down and do all the good things for myself. But ideally we don’t get there. We can do things kind of proactively. So what do you recommend there? Obviously, the self compassion that you’re talking about. Is there anything else we can do to not get there?

Michelle Puster  33:21

Yeah, the ways that I kind of try to head it off is I one. I think about, where are my connections with people? Like, currently, like I said, I do my parenting group every other week. I have a mastermind group that I meet with once a month that’s kind of like my, you know, we support each other in our new business, and we Voxer between times. I have a therapist that I talk to, like once a month. I have a friend. I try to do like a friend coffee or lunch once a week, or once every other week. I try to do lunch with my husband once a week, so that those are all things, just about, connecting with other human beings like how checking in, making sure I’m staying connected, and making time for that in my life. And then secondly, sleep. I prioritize sleep. Yes, I go my luckily, my husband’s not a night owl. He goes to sleep before I do so I would I really have a lot of empathy for people that had their partner and they’re like, up till one and they’re trying to go to bed at 9h30 that would be really hard. Or if your sleep clock is like, you’re just a later, late night person, but yet everybody else is not, you know, on the system of you have to wake up it, and that’s really hard in your sleep. So you have a lot of empathy for people that you know, for just different reasons, sleep is harder, but I prioritize sleep, and then I prioritize moving my body. I try to not be too stressed out about doing it perfect, any perfect sort of way. Like I love to do yoga, like once a week. I love to walk my dog as often I as I can. I run when I can, I lift weights when I can. So I do end up doing it, you know, maybe three to five times a week. But I try not to be too, like, militant about it, because then that’s stress right now. Now I’ve taken the good thing and then and kind of created, like, rigidity, and I have to do this. So I try to just be like, You know what I’m gonna try to do what I can. And then I try to meditate. I have I use the app Happier. It used to be 10% happier, okay? And they have gamified it in a way where I, like have a streak of 185 weeks, and I do not want to lose my streak. Oh, I love it. So it makes it a little, it’s like a little thing. Oh, I can. I’ll just meditate for five minutes, because I don’t want to lose my streak. Yeah, so I do these. I do I kind of look at all these areas, and I make sure that I’m building in time for them and over work, right? Like I have to put all these things before work, and then comes, okay, now, how am I going to fit my work life into these other things that are important? Because if I put work first, none of this will happen.

Megan Porta  36:12

Yes, right? Oh, I just started doing this new thing. So I’m coming out of a season of burnout, and then this fall, typically, is a hard stretch for me. So I’m coming out of burnout, going into a season that I know stretches me. So Michelle, I’ve been very, very careful with myself this fall. So one of the things that you just touched on, that I’ve been doing is like, Yes, I prioritize working out, but sleep is coming first, so if I wake up and I know that I just not get a good night of sleep. Previous version of Megan would have been like, get your butt up and go work out, but that I can see, in retrospect, contributed to some burnout and stress. So now what I’ve been doing is I’m like, if I do not feel it, I go back to bed until I feel ready to get up. And it has served me so well. I’ve released the guilt. I think normally I would have been like, What is wrong with you? Why couldn’t you work out? Why aren’t you doing this regularly? I’m done with that. Like it. It it is not worth my health and my mental well being to do that. So that’s been a huge thing for me. That’s brand new. But I think sleep is just one of those things that we don’t put enough importance on. There’s so much importance on getting a good night of sleep.

Michelle Puster  37:41

Yes, I agree with you, and I love that, and I I so appreciate that you talk about this on your podcast, and that you do talk about your burnout. And it must have been really scary to open up about it, but I feel like that’s so helpful for so many people, because it normalizes, you know, it’d be easy to look at you and be like, Oh my gosh, Megan has it all together. Look what else she’s doing. You know, she’s like, what you do have it all together, but, but you know, and like, never has any stress or never has any thoughts, and the fact that you normalize that and let people know, like, No, I do get stressed, and sometimes I do experience burnout, and I love that you check in with yourself and and ask yourself, Do I need sleep or do I need to work out? And if you need sleep, you sleep because I agree. I think sleep does come before working out, which I would love to like, see some science on this. But from everything that I’ve read, it seems like sleep and getting enough sleep does come first, yeah, but it can be hard to do.

Megan Porta  38:39

Yeah, for sure, yeah, and also learning from your history. So all of us are unique in the ways that we get by and accumulate stress and all of that. So I think it’s really important to just look back all the time like, What was hard this past year, what made it difficult, what led to burnout, what led to the anxiety, and then trying to change those things. Do you do that from year to year, quarter to quarter?

Michelle Puster  39:05

I have not, but I keep hearing you say that and and you that time. What do you call it? Time autopsy. 

Megan Porta  39:14

Time logging.

Michelle Puster  39:16

Time logging, yes, and I heard you, I think if you keep repeating it enough, I’m like,

Megan Porta  39:22

I should, you should do it. It’s so effective. It’s so great. 

Michelle Puster  39:25

And that you had an idea which I do want to implement, but I haven’t yet, which was like, setting a block of time for family stuff, because it’s like, stuff that has to get done, and it’s kind of like doctor’s appointments and stuff, and it’s like, weighs on me. And I think if I just did it and moved on with my life.

Megan Porta  39:44

Oh, my God, that’s life.

Michelle Puster  39:45

Put it off. Put it off. Put it off. So I love your idea of time logging and looking back, yes, at a quarter, at a year, and finding the patterns of stress and looking at, oh, it’s a you know, we celebrate Christmas in our house, so we’re. What do I need around that time of year then exactly make it a little less stressful, or the beginning of the school year is always stressful, so maybe I lighten my client load. I think that is a wonderful way of being preventative around burnout. Yes, for sure. 

Megan Porta  40:15

Yeah, what I found, though, from year to year, I do that, but then it’s like the stress somehow creeps into other seasons, you know, like, what? For the longest time it was December, I’m like, How can I nail this so that I’m not stressed in December? So I the following year, I would change December, but then it was, like, the fall, and then for the few years, it was fall that was really stressful. And then, you know, it just like, kind of moves around the calendar. So that’s something I haven’t quite figured out yet. I think the more I work on balance with everything in my life, the more that will come together. But it’s interesting how it just kind of moves evolves in different months.

Michelle Puster  40:56

Yes, for sure. I love that you keep investigating. Oh, I mean, I think, yes, absolutely, we are all a work in progress, and we’re not ever gonna, like, Okay, it’s done. All figured out. No good. I’m a good, yeah, it’s we’re just always kind of, like, continuing to check in with ourselves and be curious, because we’re always evolving and changing so. 

Megan Porta  41:17

Yeah, I love this topic. Thank you so much for bringing this to the table, Michelle, and for being vulnerable and open with your story, I think, like you said, It’s just helpful to normalize that so people don’t feel so alone and scared talking about it. Because I do think a lot of people avoid anxiety, talking depression, burnout. It’s almost like a I shouldn’t be experiencing this sort of thing, but it’s normal and it’s okay to talk about it. It’s good to talk about it. So thank you, seriously.

Michelle Puster  41:51

Yes. Well, thank you for having me on and thank you for having this important topic be part of your podcast, just like self care and wellness and, like, taking care of yourself. And I think you’re right. Like, the more we can do that, the easier it is to, like, I don’t know, figure out our statistics and do all the like, technical stuff that we also have to do as bloggers.

Megan Porta  42:14

Absolutely, if you can’t, if you’re not living a balanced life, emotionally and physically, you can’t analyze your blogging stats and figure out how to get the right keyword. I mean, it just comes so much easier when you’re taking care of yourself. Such an important message. Do you have either a favorite quote or words of inspiration to leave us with?

Michelle Puster  42:37

Sure, I would like to say the light in me sees the light in you. And that’s the meaning of Namaste, which is what they say at the end of yoga classes. And you know, during that period of burnout, I did not feel like I had a light or is super dim. And now it feels good to feel like, okay, I do see my light. And it feels really good to see so many light and other people, you know, and like, now, when I read a blog, like, when I find a recipe online, I think about you, and I think about your listeners, and I think about like, there’s a real human being behind this that like to put time and energy and effort and Put their light into this. And I so appreciate all the work that you guys do because you helped me, like, have fun with cooking and making stuff with my kids.

Megan Porta  43:29

Oh, well, that’s so great to hear. Thank you for saying that. Love how you ended that we’ll put together a show notes page for you, Michelle, if you want to peek at those. Head to eatblogtalk.com/compassionateheart. So tell everyone where they can find you

Michelle Puster  43:45

Sure. Well, you can find my blog at compassionateheartmindfullife.com, or you can also find my podcast at Compassionate Heart, Mindful Life. And yeah, I’d love for you to come and check my stuff out and see if there’s anything there that helps, helps you feel less alone, and helps you feel less stress, and gives you some tips and tools. 

Megan Porta  44:10

Thank you so much, Michelle, and thanks for listening food bloggers. I will see you next time. 

Outro  44:17

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Eat Blog Talk, please share this episode with a friend who would benefit from tuning in. I will see you next time you.