In episode 252, we talk with Loren Runion, from the Align and Expand podcast, about the zone of DIScomfort because that’s where we need to go to become productive and grow quickly.
We cover information about ways you can expand to positively impact your business, when you feel discomfort, know you’re doing something right and talk through the 4 steps to comfort zone psychology.
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Bio Sweet Rustic Bakes is a real food and wellness food blog in the gluten free niche. Loren is also a freelance food photographer and Podcast host of Mind Over Blog podcast for food bloggers. Her podcast is dedicated to up-leveling the mindset of food bloggers helping them create success from the inside out.
- Comfort zone = when we’re currently feeling really safe and can function on autopilot.
- When we get into this comfort zone, we stop challenging ourselves and you still yearn for more.
- Yearning is the signal that it’s time to get out of that comfort zone because you want it for a reason, but you’re scared also because you’re in that comfort zone.
- Create what you want in life by becoming conscious of it.
- Differentiate between bad fear and good fear by tuning into self-talk and the feelings that are coming up in your body.
- Self-limiting beliefs automatically come out of us, but we have to push past our comfort zone to go after what you want.
- Your conscious mind is only in charge of about 10% of your brain power. The unconscious mind and all that stuff that goes in with the unconscious and the subconscious, that’s 90% of your brain power.
- Awareness of your thoughts throughout the day is the first step to working on the self-talk you do unconsciously. Is it a positive or negative vibe?
- If there’s something you have a desire to achieve but it’s low on the scale in what you’re actively working to achieve, it’s likely your thoughts that are not congruent to the life that you’re trying to create.
- The first step out of your comfort zone takes you into the fear zone.
- Move past that fear, avoid other people’s chatter and even the imposter syndrome to arrive in the learning zone. Kearn to handle the challenges.
- Once you learn some new skills, you’ll enter the growth zone.
- Journaling is a good tool to evaluate where you’re at, feelings and things you want to achieve.
- Ask yourself, in X amount of years, will you have regretted not doing this? What is it going to cost you to stay in your comfort zone?
- Meditation or breath work, yoga, or getting into nature, those are all things that will help you regulate your nervous system so you can shift into your fear zone.
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Megan: Hello, food bloggers! Welcome to Eat Blog Talk, the podcast for food bloggers looking for the value and competence that will move the needle forward in their businesses. I am your host, Megan Porta, and you are listening to episode 252 with Loren Runion from the Align and Expand podcast previously known as Mind Over Blog.
We are starting a series together. So buckle in, get ready for this. We have some great stuff coming your way. We are putting together a multi-part podcast series for you that covers the topic of getting outside of your comfort zone. It’s something that Loren and I both feel really passionately about and in this first episode, we are going to cover just what does this mean? What does it mean to get out of your comfort zone? We’re going to go over some definitions and basics and tell you what you can expect in the coming episodes. So I hope you really enjoy this. This is such a great conversation with Loren. I thoroughly enjoyed it so I hope you do too.
Hey, Loren, I’m so excited to talk about comfort zones. Thank you for agreeing to do this amazing series with me.
Loren: Yes. Hi Megan. How are you?
Megan: I am good. I’m excited to talk about this. This is a topic that has been brewing for me for a really long time. As I talked to you about it this summer, last summer, and you were like, oh, that’s interesting. We just went back and forth and I think it’s a really relevant topic that will positively impact food bloggers. Maybe they don’t know about it yet, but I really believe it will.
Loren: Absolutely. I would think that it’s definitely not something a lot of people are conscious of. Especially with all of the points that we’re going to be talking about throughout the series, I think it will be really eye opening for a lot of people and it timed out perfectly. Because when you brought it up, it was something, not necessarily the same definition, but I kept getting the same kind of messages around this topic of comfort zones and energetic minimums and things that you need to get out of your comfort zone. It was like a message I kept seeing over and over, and then you brought this up, so it’s perfect.
Megan: Yeah. I remember you saying that oh my gosh, that’s so crazy because I have been seeing this come to me into my life multiple times. So apparently we’re supposed to talk about it. So this will be. A four-part podcast series that we’re going to do and deliver over the course of a couple of months. This is episode number one in that series. In this first episode, we will talk about what it is, what does it mean? Because I know that can be confusing, hearing that string of words. I don’t really know what that means or how to apply it or how this actually affects my business. So in this episode, we’re going to dive into that. In the next episode, we are going to talk about money and how that relates to comfort zones. But at the end of this episode, we’ll talk about all of the topics that you will hear about. So to start here, let’s talk about just the general term comfort zone and getting out of your comfort zone and what that means. Would you mind just starting by defining that Loren?
Loren: I’m just going to give my own definition of what I think a comfort zone is. Like you said, probably what comes to mind when I think of what a comfort zone is, I think of exercise. That’s what pops in my head. It’s not a lot of the other things. But to me, when I try to come up with the words to define a comfort zone, it is basically where we are currently feeling really safe. It is where we function on autopilot. It’s like the space that our brain puts us in so that we can just go about our day without thinking. What happens when we get into this comfort zone, we stop challenging ourselves. When I start to think of maybe potential issues with comfort zones, I think about when it comes to someone who becomes really complacent within their lives and their jobs and their relationships and money, but they yearn for more. The yearning is the signal that it’s time to get out of that comfort zone because you want it for a reason, but you’re scared also because you’re in that comfort zone.
Megan: Okay. That was the textbook definition. So amazing. I could never have said all of that. That was so good. I think you’re so right. I just want to add there are so many areas of your life that you can think of when you’re talking about comfort zones. I think of how I interact with people and what I’m comfortable with and what actually extends me. Then I just had it a little bit ago about money and, honestly the work you do on your blog, what kind of work you’re putting into your blog? There are so many parts of our lives that this could apply to, which kind of gets me excited. But the only thing I’ll add is that, I just believe it’s so important for us to look at the ways, consistently stop and look at those ways, that we can extend past our comfort zones in all areas of our life, because this is only going to positively impact not only our lives, our personal lives, but it’s going to impact our businesses.
It’s going to increase the amount of money we earn. It is going to bring in more high quality people. It is going to allow us to acquire new skills. It’s going to let new opportunities land in our laps. That discomfort that we go into when we decide, okay, I’m going to extend past my comfort zone, we need to do that because we need to grow. If we’re not growing, we’re just living this stagnant life. And applying it to your business, we don’t want a stagnant business. I think everyone listening wants blog growth. They want traction and traffic and opportunities and people, and that requires discomfort. So I think that’s the message. If you want growth, you have to find those ways to get uncomfortable, even if it’s really hard, you need to start stepping into those.
Loren: I totally agree. Then for anyone from my audience that’s listening, that isn’t necessarily a blogger, this 100% applies to you. If you have a business, it applies to your business. If you are just working a nine to five, it still applies because maybe you don’t have a blog and maybe you’re not working to grow a business, but you might be really comfortable in your job right now. You yearn for more money in your nine to five, or you yearn for a higher position. It starts when we become really conscious of what it is that we want to create in our life. It doesn’t necessarily matter what it is that you’re doing. You can’t say because I don’t do this, then this doesn’t apply. Because it really is creating what you want in your life by becoming conscious of it. As I was thinking about this and writing stuff out, I thought, oh, the opposite of comfort is uncomfortable. There is a law, there’s a law of polarity and it means that when there’s an up, there’s a down and when there’s not enough money, there’s more money. If there’s comfort, then you need to be uncomfortable. We have to have both to see the growth in our lives.
Megan: As you were talking, I was thinking that maybe we need to make the distinction between that fearful place of oh, I’m scared to go there. But I know I need to, and that place where we know something’s wrong. So that intuition where we don’t go to a place because we know we’re not supposed to. Does that make sense? Because I know some people are like, how do I know if that uncomfortable place is telling me it’s uncomfortable because it’s bad for me.
Loren: I think the answer to deciding what’s right for you, and this is going to be an answer that can’t be a blanket statement because everyone is going to be different. Everyone handles fear and comfort differently. But I think to decide and differentiate between bad fear and good fear is to first tune into your self-talk and the feelings that are coming up in your body. Oftentimes I think maybe people aren’t aware of their self-talk, that’s creating the fear. But they may be really aware of the feelings that they’re feeling in their body. So, for instance, and we’re not to this yet, and I know we will eventually get to this, but for instance, one of the things that I see a lot is someone saying that they are scared to get new clients because they’re afraid it’s going to be stressful. That’s a fear. If you tune in, that feeling that they got was stress. I guess that was my point, is the feeling that they probably get when they think about going outside of their comfort zone is stress. What’s causing that fear of possibly having stress and getting to the root of what’s actually causing the fear. If someone is fearful and chooses and decides if the thing that they’re feeling is a limiting belief. I think that’s when you know that that’s when you should pursue it.
Megan: There it is.
Loren: Because if it’s a limiting belief that’s holding you back. I can’t do it. I’m not confident enough. I’m not good enough. I don’t think that I have what it takes. Those are all not reasons to step out of your comfort zone because you never know. If someone else has it and you see it, it’s because you are meant to do it as well. If that’s what you want and you see someone else having it, you have it. You’ve got it and you get to go after it. It just takes you getting out of that comfort zone. I think ultimately people know. Let me just call out there. I think ultimately people know. They know when it’s something that’s holding them back because they’re scared beings. It’s a limiting belief. They know deep down it’s wrong, because for instance, they’re going to make this huge purchase and they already have a ton of debt. Then they know that it’s going to add more debt. They know that’s probably not right. That’s a different kind of fear. What do you think about all that?
Megan: Any decision in life, but mostly I’m talking about business decisions, I’ll hear people say something like, I know I need to do this, or I know I shouldn’t do this. So I do think that we all like deep down, we really do know, but also just being aware of when our thoughts overtake that knowing. Because I think for me personally, my thinking can take over anything that’s in my gut. I can have an instinct and be like okay, maybe I should do this. So putting your thoughts aside, as hard as that is sometimes, really allows me to get to the bottom of what’s going on. But I think you’re right, like instinctively, we all know whether we should or shouldn’t do or pursue whatever it is.
Loren: Exactly what you said. Oftentimes that first answer that you hear when you sit down and you’re like, do I want to make this decision? Is this where I should go? That first answer you hear is that intuition. Then you have time to start that reasoning part of your brain, the conscious part of your brain has time to catch up and be like, nah, this isn’t what we want to do. Because you have to think about the subconscious part of your brain, you’re not aware of it. So what starts to come out are the things that are already programmed into your subconscious mind. So if you have these limiting beliefs or these fears that you can’t step out of your comfort zone, what that’s stemming from is what’s already programmed into your subconscious mind. You have to reprogram that for it to actually feel comfortable.
Megan: Okay. That is such a great point that I don’t know that many people walking around really tuned into this. I know I didn’t for very long until recently. But the subconscious is so powerful. It’s a program, right? You are being programmed and you don’t even know it. Some of the things in there, and I know you can speak much more eloquently on this Loren, but some of the things in there are real and some are not. Some are literally just stories that we’ve picked up along the way. Maybe we heard a teacher when we were younger say something in jest and they didn’t mean it, but we took it literally in our subconscious, stored that and kept it as truth. We carry certain things with us until we reprogram. So I’m going to let you talk on that because you know much more about it than I do.
Loren: Yeah. To speak to what you’re saying, it is the programming. It’s like the most epic computer ever. What people need to be aware of is that your conscious mind is only in charge of about 10% of your brain power. The unconscious mind and all that stuff that goes in with the unconscious and the subconscious, that’s 90% of your brain power. What and hear and think and feel and do in your conscious mind is only brought to you by what your subconscious mind – it only allows certain things to come in. Basically what you’re saying is that people have these things that they may not think are real. But the thing is they are very real to them and that they are beliefs. Then one of the ways that I like to think about that is how you could go to a different country and they have a totally different belief system. It’s not the same as another country’s belief system. But to them, it is true. It is 100% true. Then you have another country and they have a totally different belief system and it’s very true to them. But then we have these things that are a universal truth. Because you can’t say something as a truth in a 100% if not everyone collectively believes the same thing. But we have this thing, like the sky is blue. Everyone would say 99% of the population believes that the sky is blue or what we see is the color blue. Or something like, Monday is Monday, Tuesday is Tuesday. Those are all a very universal collective. But what happens is you pick up something when you’re younger, like you’re saying exactly what a teacher tells you. That you’re stupid and you’re never going to amount to anything, or your parents did it to you. Somebody did it along the way and you took that as truth. But if you ask someone else, they’re not going to tell you that’s the truth. That’s not true for them. That’s just a belief that you took on and that’s when you know, there’s potential there for you to heal that belief, that limiting belief that you’ve created in your life when it is not a universal truth.
For example, if I have this thing where I’m like I can’t make more money, I just can’t do it. I can’t make more money with my clients. I can’t charge more for my photography. If I say that to someone who’s charging more for my photography, even though I believe it, I’m saying that to someone who’s already doing it, they’re saying, yeah, you can.
Megan: I would love to dig into that just a little bit more. How do we pinpoint a limiting belief? So how do we even know that it’s a limiting belief? Do we just question everything that goes through our brains about our work or money?
Loren: I believe it’s your self-talk. I believe it’s how happy and joyful you are with each part of your life. There’s this thing called the life wheel. I think that’s what it’s called. It’s a pie chart and it’s divided into so many pieces, I forget. But you have your money and you have your relationships and you have spirituality and you have all these things and you can rate it from a scale of one to 10. I think this is a really good place to start, especially if you don’t know if you have limiting beliefs. So you have it and you rate it; how is my life right now on each one of these things? So say you pick for your career, on a scale of one to 10, it’s a four. Okay. What is it that I have right now? What is it that I want in my career and then journal it out or whatever it is that helps you work through things. See what comes up or start taking note. If you’re currently in your job that you don’t like, or if your blogging situation isn’t going well, start taking notes in your day. Okay. Right now I know that I’m not very happy with this career part of my life. I’m going to write down everything I think about all day long. Like what are my thoughts on the subject all day long? You’re going to start to become aware because awareness is the first key to that self-talk and to identifying those limiting beliefs.
Megan: That is so smart, first of all. But also noting which beliefs bring you negative energy. So I always think if you have a good positive vibe about something, most likely you’re good with that issue with that topic. But if something that you are thinking about, whether it’s your job or your finances or your relationships, gives you that vibe, and you all know what I’m talking about, just that energy that makes you feel icky inside, that’s when you should maybe start taking note and noting what you’re saying to yourself. How you’re defining your life and just write out those things. Then you mentioned journaling it out is such a good way to get through things and get to the bottom of what is going on here. So I just wanted to point that out. Sorry to interrupt.
Loren: It was along the, of what I was going to say. Sometimes I feel like, just from my experience, because I went a very long time, like you said, I want a very long time not doing any of these things. I was stressed all the time. I was overwhelmed all the time. I had negative thoughts all the time. My husband would be like, you’re so negative. I’m like, I don’t know what that means. What do you mean? I didn’t even get it. I didn’t understand.
Megan: I think this is a really great place to pause. Let’s take a really quick break. When we get back, we’ll dig into this more.
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Hey, it’s me again. I am just hopping on here now to talk a little bit about the awesomeness of the Eat Blog Talk mastermind program. Some of you are in it and loving it and getting so much value from it. For those of you who are not yet in it, I wanted to give you just a really quick testimonial from one of our members, Barbara Curry, from Butter and Baggage. She had such nice things to say about the mastermind program. So I wanted to be sure to share this with you. This is Barbara’s quote. “Since joining the EBT mastermind program, I have developed confidence in myself and what I can accomplish. We have all learned from each other new skills, shortcuts, ways to be more efficient and courage to try new things. It’s a place where we can brainstorm ideas and get honest feedback. The group gave me confidence to try something outside of my comfort zone, which turned out to be a huge success. I learned that something I was reluctant to try, ended up being something I love. Without their support and encouragement, I’m not sure I would have tried it. It’s a non-competitive place where I learn something new and helpful every week. It is the best investment I could have made. End quote, Barbara says it all there. Just wanted to share that with you guys. If you’re interested in joining the waitlist for the mastermind program, go to eatblogtalk.com.
Megan: We’re back from the break. Thank you guys for listening to that. Before the break, we were talking about negativity. So Loren, why don’t you continue with what you were saying?
Loren: There’s two things. When you take a look at this life you don’t have to look up, just think of anything that brings you the bad energy that you’re saying. Your thoughts are creating that reality. You have to be open to thinking about how you are the cause for creating that based off of the thoughts that you’re having. The environment, the job, the lack of money, those are not the things that are causing the problem. The things that are causing the problems are your thoughts and your beliefs around that issue. So the reason it is low on that scale is I would bet a hundred percent likely because you’re having thoughts that are not congruent to the life that you’re trying to create with that.
Megan: If you are listening and you’re doubting this. Like really? Because I used to be there. I used to doubt the same things. If you’re like, I don’t really know that this is true, could this really work, changing my thoughts to create different realities? I just urge you to think about the things in your life that are working and how your thoughts have come to that. So for me, this is what the light bulb moment was for me. Because I had all of these stories around money and we can talk about this in the next episode. I had just one day was like, okay, what is working? What good thoughts do I have? How is my life really good? For me, that’s love and relationships. I’ve just always had these amazingly positive good energy thoughts about the people in my life and how much I love them and how much they love me. I’ve never had an issue with that. I know some people do. I’ve just been super, I feel super blessed to have that. When I look at my life, it is filled with all of that amazing stuff. For me, that was proof that holy crap, that really works. Then you start looking at the parts of your life that maybe aren’t going so well. For me in the past, it was money. I just started digging into that okay, what beliefs did I say to myself over the years about money. There, a lot of negative stuff came up. So I had to really dig into that. So I just wanted to say I urge you to think about the things that are really working well and how your thoughts have produced that.
Loren: Yeah, I think it’s a very good point. If someone is doubting it, I 100% believe there is a wu wu spirituality, universe God aspect to it. However, there’s a scientific aspect to it as well. So if that helps, how you mentioned earlier, we have all this information that’s going around us. I’m not good at remembering numbers, but there’s 2 million bits of it’s something crazy. We only take in such a small portion of the information that’s going on around us. One of the reasons your thoughts create your reality is because of your current belief system. Your thoughts are based on your beliefs, so based on your current mental framework of your beliefs, that is what your subconscious mind’s job is to bring into you. So based on your five senses, you know what you smell, you touch, you hear you all those five senses. Gather that information from the world around you, you only take in a small portion of it, your subconscious mind, without you having to think about it, deletes, distorts or generalizes that information based off of a lot of things, but your beliefs are one of them.
So if you have a belief that your relationship is bad, or if you have a belief that your money situation is bad, your subconscious mind’s job is to show you that. So you will continually see things that reflect back the beliefs that you have. There’s not a wu wu aspect to it. It is a scientific thing. That’s how your brain works. So if you want to start seeing different things, you have to switch your belief system.
Megan: Yeah. I’m so glad you brought that up because I know a lot of people hear this topic and they’re like, oh boy, here we go. Spiritual. Yeah, there is that part of it, but it is a universal law. Put it into action and test it and you will see it is so true. People back to thousands of years have reported this and documented this. It really is the truth.
Loren: It’s even in the Bible. That’s important to me to see those things in the Bible. So if anybody’s listening and that’s important to you, ask and you shall receive. What you reap you sow. So all of those things are in the Bible as well.
Megan: Great point. I know you have some psychological points to share. I am super excited to hear this. What is it, like comfort zone psychology or something along those lines?
Loren: Yeah. Well, it’s probably not a lot. I hope I don’t disappoint you, but there is something that’s called, we’re not making this up. There is something that’s called comfort zone psychology. There are basically four phases to this comfort zone psychology. So you have your comfort zone and this is where you feel safe and you’re in control and what’s going to happen. Your subconscious mind knows what’s going to happen. It’s where you’re functioning on autopilot. To get out of this comfort zone and move through, if you think of it as an arrow going towards the growth zone, you have to pass through the very first one. The very first phase is the fear zone. That’s the first thing that you’re going to feel. As soon as you think, okay, I’m going to step out of this comfort zone. The first thing is the fear zone. This is where things start to get murky and you start to have these monkey mind chatter of I can’t do this. You might be persuaded by other people’s opinions. You might start to feel imposter syndrome. All these things could start to creep up in the fear zone. You have to move past that fear zone to get into the learning zone, according to this comfort zone psychology. The learning zone is where you start to learn how to deal with these challenges that are coming up. This is where you start to move past, you’re extending that comfort zone. If you think of it as a circle, it starts to get bigger when you’re in this learning zone and you’re learning new skills to help you along the way. Then once you hit that growth zone, which is the final zone, move out of the comfort zone so that you can grow out of the comfort zone you’re in. This is where you start to live your dreams out. This is where you start to see the things that you are wanting to create new realities to start happening. You realize that you can do these big aspirations that you have.
Megan: I think everyone can probably relate to that because we’ve all been through that fear of, do I do this? How am I going to do this? I can’t do this. Then we have to come to a point where we either fall back into comfort or we just decide we are moving forward, despite the discomfort. Then that’s where we see the magic. I love that zone of magic where you’re like, holy crap, that worked! It’s so uncomfortable, but this was so worth it.
Loren: I think it’s really important to remember that just because you get out of that comfort zone and you go past all those things, it is very common to go back. Each new level, I don’t know that it’ll air by the time this does, but I have a guest on my podcast and she said it beautifully. .She sees it as a spiral staircase. So with each new level, you look down. It’s a new comfort zone with each new level of that spiral staircase. So you can expect to have to go through this each time you climb that new level of the spiral staircase. You look down and you’re like, that was easy. Those were fine. But each time you move up that level, you’re going to go through this again. That’s completely normal. You don’t just go through this once and everything’s like, woo I’m healed.
Megan: It is never done. It is an ongoing process. So you talked about the spiral staircase and I heard another analogy on a podcast recently, and I seriously fill my brain with podcasts. So I have no idea where this came from. So I am sorry to whoever said this. These are not my words. But this person talked about a visualization right along these lines. So you work really hard to get to that growth place and get out of your comfort and you see it as if it’s a ceiling and you’re on the floor looking up at the ceiling and you want to be there and you do all the hard work and then you finally get there and then you go through the ceiling and the ceiling becomes your floor. So your old feeling is your new floor. You’re not done. You have more ceilings that you want to go through. So you look up at your next new ceiling and so you keep going up and you keep learning and growing. Hopefully you don’t go back to your old floors. But I just loved that analogy. It’s been stuck in my mind ever since I heard it.
Loren: Yeah, that’s really good.
Megan: We talked about how to identify where we need to grow. So looking at our self-talk, what things are bringing us down or giving us kind of an icky feeling with our energy. Just really evaluating that maybe with journaling. What are some other things that we can do to figure out areas that we need to extend into our discomfort zones?
Loren: I wanted to start thinking about how it is I move out of my comfort zone and I related it back to this comfort zone psychology. My belief is that a body in motion stays in motion and that you have to start moving. It does not matter how small the stay is. If you’re not moving, it can’t move. I almost, sometimes I really hate this saying. You just have to take action or just one step forward. Part of that bothers me, but part of it is that it’s really the truth. I think the most important thing to take away from that is that it can be very small and it does not have to be something that’s a gigantic leap from your comfort zone to the fear zone. It can just be a comfort zone and then here’s them just a little tiny bit uncomfortable. That’s important to me. Then I also think, there’s a couple of questions that you can ask yourself when you’re starting to get towards the fear zone is number one, how am I getting in my own way? I love this question. When I first read it a long time ago, I’m like, this is really good. I can think of a whole lot of reasons I’m getting into my own way. Then another thing that I read about is Jeff Bezos has this framework, and I think it’s really perfect for this. It’s called the regret minimization framework. This is when you ask yourself in X amount of years and you can say it for whatever you want, but in X amount of years, will I regret not doing this? When I read that, I’m like, that’s really powerful.
Megan: That is great. I love that so much. Also, when you say to yourself, ugh, I just need to get out of my head. I hear people say that all the time. So that might be a red flag. If you hear yourself saying that repeatedly, then pause and just note what you’re talking about. I think that awareness is the first thing. Don’t you think, Loren, just being aware that you need to do this first and foremost before doing anything? So before digging into how you’re getting in your way and what your limiting beliefs might be and how you need to extend yourself and get uncomfortable. Just knowing, listening to this podcast, listening to our words and our stories and just knowing that you’re human and that you need to do this because we all do. We all have areas that we need to grow in. Do you have any other tips as far as how to just know how and when and why and where and all of that?
Loren: Yeah, definitely. To add to something that you said, I think if you’re in the fear zone, we’ve talked about working on limiting beliefs and rewriting those negative narratives. But something you said was something else I wanted to bring up. When someone’s saying I need to get out of my head, that’s a really good indication that you do need to get out of your head. I’m a really big advocate that your mindset is not only in your mind and if that’s where you’re trying to do it all, because again, you only have 10% of that thinking power, trying to change your mindset. You have to get into your body. So if you’re saying that it’s time to get into your body and you can do that in a variety of ways. I think it’s the most important, because what happens is that we have this, I don’t know if you’ve heard this, it’s called the polyvagal theory. It’s that we have these basically three branches of our nervous system. Instead of just having the parasympathetic nervous system and the sympathetic nervous system, there’s three branches. Because of the day and age that we live in, most of us don’t have a very regulated nervous system and you may be stuck in your head because your nervous system isn’t up-regulating and down regulating as it should. So if you’re saying that, or if you’re thinking about these things, and maybe you don’t know your feelings, maybe you don’t know your thoughts, but in your body, you feel really yucky. For me, how my body feels is huge. Everyone’s going to be different, but my heart will race or my chest will feel tight. Anytime something’s not going smooth or high vibe like you said earlier. That’s a really good indication that maybe your nervous system isn’t regulated and doing things like meditation or breath work, or yoga, or getting into nature, those are all things that will help you regulate your nervous system to help make this shift into your fear zone, a little bit better.
Megan: Also just sleep for me. If I feel that way, I know that I probably have not been getting enough sleep. Prioritize that. Drinking water. When I get that feeling, I just know I need to set everything down right now. Not in the future, not oh, maybe at four o’clock. Just put everything down right now, go outside and take some deep breaths and just chill. It’s really simple. Honestly, getting to a good place where you’re not constantly thinking is super simple, but we fight it. Don’t you think that we’re constantly saying, I have so much to do. I’ll stop at five. I can do it later. It becomes a back burner thing when it should be our utmost priority to take care of.
Loren: Yeah. It’s important to remember that everybody’s going to feel different. So for me, I think I tend to shift into this sympathetic nervous response where I have that chest tightness and I get angry or I’m not nice to my family and I lash out. That’s where I tend to go. I know that. But this polyvagal theory, there’s other parts. Do not to get super scientific, but you have this dorsal vagal and you have this ventral vagal system. I want to say that because you may not get angry, you may freeze. You may not move, you may get stuck because this is where you’re training your body to be within your nervous system. Or it may not be that you feel like you need to keep busy or your mind is constantly, maybe it is that you feel like you’re pleasing people. All of those are along the lines of your nervous system possibly not regulating the way it needs to. So just keep in mind that, because I feel that way doesn’t mean you will. But to really listen to how your body’s feeling when you’re doing this work.
Megan: I just have one parting thing that came to me. Then I’ll let you wrap up too. But if you want something different from what you have currently in whatever, fill in the blank for your topic or your area of life, you need to do different things. Because we do things over and over, and we think that maybe things will change. Then it’s not until we like to stop and realize that we’re doing the same things over and over, and we’re getting the same results. So maybe we should actually do something different that’s slightly uncomfortable, maybe very uncomfortable. Just try it and you might get very different results than what you’ve been getting. So I just wanted to say that, reframing it like that I think is beneficial for some people just hearing it like, oh yeah, I do this a lot over and over. The same thing keeps happening. So just talking about more abundance in your life, more abundance in your business, more opportunities, more traffic, more growth, more business growth, more money, better relationships, people, business people, and friends and peers who come into your life who can help you grow your business and benefit you in various ways. So there’s so many things that we get stuck with. I just encourage everyone listening to think about those ways that you are stuck and that you want different results. Just to pursue how to do that. Okay. Loren, I will let you do your final words and wrap up.
Loren: I really liked what you just said. Just to add to that, when you’re thinking about what I am doing over and over again that’s not working. One of the things that I was going to say is that, when you’re in that learning zone, you’ve moved past the fear zone and you’re in this learning zone where you’re acquiring new skills. Also, I mentioned this earlier, taking a step back and saying, how could I be at fault for this versus how something else is causing it. How could I be causing this thing in my life versus it being a Pinterest problem, or it being an Instagram algorithm problem. What is it that I could do differently? I’m glad that you said that because that is something I think people need to start doing more of, is taking a step back and saying, how can I affect this? Or how am I at the cause? Then you move into this growth zone. I think one of the most important things to think about once somebody gets out of their comfort zone, maybe sometimes they get out of it and then they get there and they’re like, now what do I do? Is to get really clear on what it is that you’re trying to create in your life. Super clear now that you’re not worried about the fear and now that you don’t have all these other things jumbling it up, get really clear on what it is that you’re trying to do. Get crystal clear on what it is that you’re trying to create so that you can continue to go after it and keep raising that ceiling and climb and you see the new floor. I think it is really important. Then the very last thing that I have to say, since I’m sorry if I’ve talked too much, is to ask yourself, and this is really similar to that regret minimization framework. What is it going to cost you to stay in your comfort zone?
Megan: Which pain is where, right? Which discomfort is worse. The discomfort of staying where you’re at and being frustrated because you’re not getting somewhere you want to be. Or going through the discomfort to get where you want to be. Just like a heads up for anyone. Who’s never ventured into a scary place like this and willingly walking into an uncomfortable zone. For me, I don’t know about you Loren, but crap hits the fan for a little bit. Your world can get shaken just a bit. So just to know that that is normal. It’s your ego trying to protect you and get you back into that comfortable place. So know that before you do it and don’t let it scare you out of not doing it, but just know that pushing through is going to create that magic that we’re talking about.
Loren: Yeah. That was a really good point to add. It’s so true. I’m just now to the point after doing all the work that I’ve done, when I start seeing stuff go down that’s not good. I’m just not to the point where I’m like, okay, good. That means something good is coming. If something bad happens, then I know that something good is coming because that is again, one of the universal laws. I’m just now at that point. It took a very long time for me to get there. Sometimes they still don’t. When it’s bad, something good is really coming.
Megan: Great way to end. So we have three more episodes that we are going to record and publish on this topic. The next one will be about money, specifically. The next one after that will be about blog traction and new skills. We’re going to combine those two topics in that episode. The last one will be about people. My favorites are money and people, but they’re all going to be amazing. So be sure to tune in. We’re publishing these every other week. So you can expect that as a published schedule. Any last words, Loren? Thank you so much for joining me. This was so fun. I always love talking to you.
Loren: Yeah, it was fun and no, I’m out of words.
Megan: Okay. All right. I see you guys in the next episode. Thank you so much for listening.
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