Episode 666: Self-Doubt is Holding You Back – How to Fix It with Dawn Ledet

EBT666 – Dawn Ledet

Intro 00:00

Food bloggers. Hi, how are you today? Thank you so much for tuning in to the Eat Blog Talk podcast. This is the place for food bloggers to get information and inspiration to accelerate your blog’s growth, and ultimately help you to achieve your freedom. Whether that’s financial, personal, or professional. I’m Megan Porta. I have been a food blogger for 13 years, so I understand how isolating food blogging can be. I’m on a mission to motivate, inspire, and most importantly, let each and every food blogger, including you, know that you are heard and supported. 

[00:00:37]  Supercut 

 Hey there food bloggers. Check out our new Finance Supercut. This is a bonus 15 minute episode capturing highlights from finance episodes that we have recorded recently on the podcast. Head to eatblogtalk.com/financesupercut to listen today.

[00:01:00]  Megan Porta 

Are procrastination and perfectionism something that you deal with in your business and that you feel maybe holds you back a little bit? If so, I think a lot of us struggle with these things. Definitely give this full interview a listen. Dawn Ledet from the Self Trust Coach joins me to talk about the power of self Talk and the power of self trust. Having trust in yourself to move forward in your personal life, but also in your business to get the most out of both of those things.

[00:01:30]   

 She talks about the essential skills bloggers need to achieve any goal. She talks about how self Trust impacts our ability to overcome challenges in our businesses such as procrastination and perfectionism. And she also talks about how our or why our inner dialogue is the root cause of so many struggles that we face in our businesses.

[00:01:53]   

 And she gives us tips about how to deal with these things. It is a very enlightening episode and really the information here is the foundation of what we’re building in our businesses. I hope you get as much out of it as I did. I absolutely loved my conversation with Dawn. This is episode number 666. Enjoy.

[00:02:18]  Sponsor 

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[00:02:59]  Megan Porta 

Dawn Ledet, a certified life coach, former corporate sales executive, and author of Master Your Inner Dialogue: Transform Your Self-Talk for Goal Success is on a mission to help high achieving entrepreneurs and leaders crush their goals with clarity, confidence and ease. Drawing on her expertise in coaching and years of experience in high stakes sales and leadership, dawn empowers clients to rewrite self sabotaging narratives, build unshakable self trust, and turn inner dialogue into a powerful tool for lasting success. Through practical strategies and proven frameworks, she helps people achieve their dreams without the overwhelm. Hello Dawn. Welcome to Eat Blog Talk. I’m so happy to have you as a guest today. How are you doing?

[00:03:47]  Dawn Ledet 

 I am wonderful. I’m thrilled to be here with you and to be sharing this information with your audience, your listeners.

[00:03:55]  Megan Porta 

 Well, it’s so great to have you here. I’m excited to talk about this topic today. So self talk and how important that is for entrepreneurs. But first, do you have a fun fact to share with us?

[00:04:06]  Dawn Ledet 

 I do. So I have a love for animals. I am, if you may hear them right now. And I have fostered quite a bit and particularly dogs. And at the height of the pandemic, I took in a dog that turned out to be pregnant. And so my fun fact is I became a doggie doula by myself with no prior experience at the height of the pandemic where no one could come in to really support.

[00:04:37]   

 And we made it work. And we had nine beautiful little puppies and got them all homes and got the mama a home as well.

[00:04:48]  Megan Porta 

 Oh my gosh. And you had no idea that this dog was pregnant?

[00:04:52]  Dawn Ledet 

 No. No one would take in dogs at the time. The shelters, they were all full or they just couldn’t get people in there because of the pandemic. And so I just took this dog and turned out, yes, we found out pretty quickly. So I was here with my two dogs, this mama dog, and then nine puppies until I could get them all weaned and adopted.

[00:05:18]  Megan Porta 

 Oh my gosh. That’s a lot of dogs. You must love animals. I love that so much. We love puppies so much. Puppies are just the best, aren’t they? They’re just so healing and wonderful.

[00:05:31]  Dawn Ledet 

 They really love them.

[00:05:32]  Megan Porta 

 Yes. Awesome. Well, I would love to hear Dawn a little bit about your business. So your business is called the Self Trust coach, correct?

[00:05:40]  Dawn Ledet 

 Correct.

[00:05:41]  Megan Porta 

 Will you tell us a little bit about it?

[00:05:44]  Dawn Ledet 

 Yes. So I know that self trust changes everything and I learned this like many of us do through an experience personally of recognizing that I was lacking in self trust. And it really was this major light bulb moment when I was an executive in the hospitality industry and I was overworking and under living and all the things that we hear about in the hustle culture.

[00:06:15]   

 And I had decided, I thought I was so brilliant. I decided to sell my car to force myself to walk two miles to work and two miles home from work. Because doing that would require that I go to work at a normal time and come home at a normal time, and that I would also be moving my body instead of just sitting at a desk all day, every day for way too many hours.

[00:06:44]   

 And I was so proud of this. I thought it was such a good idea. And on one of those walks to work, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I was having to force myself to do something that I wanted to do. Like, why do I have to force myself, trick myself to go to work at a normal time and leave work at a normal time?

[00:07:08]   

 And that moment all of a sudden illuminated a lifetime of decisions and indecisions and actions and inactions that were all fueled by a lack of self trust. And I knew that had to change. And that started my work on really shaping and building this unshakable self trust. That when I learned all the ways to do that, when I developed the skills that it took to do that, I realized I had to share it with the world.

[00:07:39]   

 Because everything that we see out in the world between, we’ll talk a little bit about procrastination and perfectionism and self sabotage, we can try and answer those symptoms. But if we’re not getting to the root cause, we’re really missing out not only on this beautiful connection with ourselves, but also with our truest potential.

[00:08:03]  Megan Porta 

 Oh, that’s beautiful. So with your story that you shared about, you know, like, for kind of forcing yourself to walk to work, what did you learn about that? What weren’t you trusting? Or I guess, what were your takeaways from that whole situation?

[00:08:18]  Dawn Ledet 

 Yes. I really just saw how I didn’t know how to just make a decision and honor that decision for myself. I didn’t trust that I could just decide to go to work without forcing myself by selling my car. I didn’t trust that I could just follow through on that decision and then have my own back on how to move forward through that.

[00:08:42]   

 And so I saw again these, like, this lifetime of decisions that I had made of, like, rushing into things because of fear that I wouldn’t do it otherwise. That’s one symptom, or just not making decisions for fear that I wouldn’t follow through or that I couldn’t move forward. So we see it clearly in these three skills that we can develop, which is what I always talk about.

[00:09:10]   

 To achieve anything, we really only need three skills.

[00:09:16]  Megan Porta 

 Okay, so in order to have more self trust, three things that we need to focus on exist. So what are those things?

[00:09:25]  Dawn Ledet 

 Yes. So we make decisions, follow through, and have our own back. Those are the three steps it takes to do anything. And they both highlight when we’re lacking self trust and they identify. They actually help us build self trust through the changing of them. So we want to make decisions from belief in yourself and the values you have to share.

[00:09:51]   

 You want to follow through on those decisions, Writing and sharing from that belief. You want to have your own back by gathering data from the outcomes of those decisions and follow through and using that data to inform your next best decision. This is how we have our own back. We evaluate for data and not judgment and not drama.

[00:10:12]  Megan Porta 

 Right? I mean, your process seems so simple, but why is it so hard to get started with something new? Like with your walk to work, why was it so ingrained in your head that you needed to kind of force yourself or trick yourself into doing it? Is it just a habit?

[00:10:30]  Dawn Ledet 

 It’s in many small ways through our lives, we lose that connection to our own self trust. I mean, we can look at as simple as when you’re talking to your best friend as a kid and you’re like, oh, I really like, you know, chocolate pudding. And your friend’s like, ugh, chocolate pudding is gross.

[00:10:46]   

 And then you’re like, wait, should I like chocolate pudding? Do I really wait? Maybe I’m wrong about chocolate pudding. It’s like these little innocent ways that we start to erode our own self trust. Like, I need to go, even go to the bathroom at school. And the teacher’s like, no, you have to wait.

[00:11:03]   

 And you’re like, wait, I can’t even trust myself to just decide that I need to go to the bathroom. I mean, these are literally really simplified ways of demonstrating this. But I think it can show you, if you look in your own life, little ways where our self trust has been eroded. Again, innocently not trying to.

[00:11:20]   

 And then we compound that by believing that we should always be comfortable. And the truth is we shouldn’t always be comfortable. We’re not going to. In fact, the greatest growth happens on the other side of discomfort. But when we think that answering difficulty means pulling back, that’s why it’s so hard to get ourselves to move forward.

[00:11:43]   

 And so we have to normalize discomfort and create comforts for ourself that don’t hinder our progress. So right now, if you are having trouble following through on a particular piece that you’re writing, it’s uncomfortable. Maybe it’s new, maybe it’s different. Maybe you’re comparing yourself to what other experts have said. There’s that discomfort comfort, and it’s normal.

[00:12:06]   

 There’s nothing wrong with it. And if you embrace it with a comfort that enhances movement forward, that’s one thing. But what our default is for answering comfort is to step away, to put it aside, to maybe go scroll social media or jump on Netflix. That’s our comfort answers now. And so I recommend coming up with a comfort plan that actually support supports forward movement.

[00:12:36]   

 And that can be one of many things. I write about four different comfort types in your comfort plan, having physical, mental, spiritual, and preparatory. And those four different types of comfort can be really, really simple things. Like for me, I go and I get that chair and it’s this deeper seated chair that when I sit on it, I can cross my legs, like crisscross.

[00:13:04]   

 And that’s comforting to me. So I’ll put that to my desk. So in those moments where I’m seeking just some comfort, instead of walking away and not continuing with what’s on my plan, I can sit in that chair, maybe get my favorite, like, soft beverage. And I know I’m taking care of myself.

[00:13:21]   

 I’m honoring and recognizing that this is uncomfortable and I’m supporting myself to move forward through it.

[00:13:27]  Megan Porta 

 How much does awareness play into this? Because I think for so long in my life I needed this, but I didn’t know I needed it. So how do we, yeah, just like kind of trick ourselves to like, oh, okay, this is where I move forward with my plan. You know what I mean?

[00:13:45]  Dawn Ledet 

 Yes. So instead of tricking, we want to create a connection with ourselves. And you brilliantly just said what I. If you would have asked me six years ago if I struggled with self trust or if I had a negative inner dialogue, I would have told you no way. Because it’s answers in softer, subtler ways than often that just really mean talk.

[00:14:09]   

 We don’t have to have mean talk to be suffering from a lack of self trust. But there’s a lot of default dialogue that happens in our head that is tied to rules that whether we adopted them or created them out of a need when we were younger that we’re still operating by, that we haven’t questioned someone else, placed them on us.

[00:14:31]   

 And we just haven’t questioned them. And so it’s tuning in. Instead of tricking, it’s tuning in and noticing like, okay, I’m not doing this one thing. Like I said I was going to do this and I’m not doing it. And instead of labeling it as procrastination because that shuts down all connection, all curiosity, all ability to learn from yourself, and instead saying, I’m choosing not to do this thing that I want to get done.

[00:15:02]   

 Why? There’s something happening here. Let me tune in. Am I just uncomfortable identifying the origin, is what I call it, of that? What’s keeping you from doing it? So you may not notice the dialogue at first, but you notice you’re not doing it. Or you do notice how you feel, or you notice thinking like, this will never work.

[00:15:25]   

 It could show up in any one of those ways. And then engaging with that conversation. Sometimes the origin of that is just what we call the motivational triad. That’s our brain’s natural wiring that says it wants to seek pleasure, avoid pain, and conserve energy. Guess what? Everything new we want to do means there’s going to be some uncomfortableness.

[00:15:54]   

 It is going to take some energy exertion, and it’s not always going to be pleasurable. So when we understand that origin, which is many times what’s happening in those moments where we’ve already planned to do something and in the moment we’re like, whoa, maybe not. It’s understanding that we’re literally wired for that can create so much more compassion for ourselves.

[00:16:14]   

 We can actually express expect it, and then we can make plans and strategies to move forward with it. It’s not a problem. It’s like, yes, of course I don’t want to do it. I plan to write three pieces today, and I just wrote one and I don’t want to do anymore. It’s like, yeah, of course you don’t.

[00:16:34]   

 And you want the result of it. That’s the continuing the conversation piece. So that you’re not just speaking for in the moment comfort you. You’re speaking for the you that wants growth, that wants expansion.

[00:16:49]  Megan Porta 

 Yeah, yeah, that’s where it comes from. So it’s all about curiosity really, is what I’m hearing you say. So if you can recognize yourself pulling back and just questioning yourself like, okay, this is interesting. Why are you not moving forward? Like that sort of thing will lead you to moving forward in new ways.

[00:17:10]  Dawn Ledet 

 It can. And we want to be careful with questions like why though? Because our brain is going to be like, because I Don’t want to because this sucks or it’s hard. So we want to ask more open, curious questions like, what do I need to keep moving forward? What would help me here?

[00:17:30]   

 How can I support myself and still finish this piece? It’s just a slight shift because our brain loves to ask questions and it also loves to answer questions. But when we don’t use our, let’s call it the prefrontal cortex, that forward thinking brain, the part that does want growth and expansion and learning and to move forward, then the default, that part, that motivational triad that seeks comfort, avoids pain and wants to conserve energy, is the one that’s going to answer it.

[00:18:02]   

 And so a question like, why am I not moving forward? That default brain is going to answer it with lots of different. And you may have noticed this. It’s either going to pull from your past. It’s going to say, because, see all these times where you didn’t do it before, that’s why. See what’s happening right now?

[00:18:19]   

 This is just like before. And guess what? That’s going to keep happening. It literally will not only bring up evidence from the past, it will color the present and predict the future. And that’s why we have to bring in that prefrontal cortex, that higher brain, to answer those questions so that the default isn’t the answer that sticks and continues to create evidence and build a case for why you can’t do it.

[00:18:46]  Megan Porta 

 Yeah, no, that makes sense. So asking the right questions to begin with, think of the answer you want to get and ask a question accordingly. I love that. So you mentioned procrastination earlier. Procrastination is, I would say, a huge situation for food bloggers and content creators, as is perfectionism. Actually, perfectionism might even be more of a hindrance to creating content.

[00:19:14]   

 So how does self trust impact both of these things?

[00:19:20]  Dawn Ledet 

 Sure. So self trust illuminates the choice. Procrastination and perfectionism are just labels for choices that we make. These labels can become challenges to overcome in themselves. Instead of choices, we get to change and really feel the difference of that. If we’re just saying, like, I procrastinate, we just place that label on ourselves and there’s no place to go.

[00:19:45]   

 It’s like you’re saying, this is who I am, this is what I do. Instead of, it’s a choice. Procrastination is a choice to delay or postpone. Perfectionism is a choice to strive for better. And you may want to choose that. We do choose to postpone delay, to continue to improve something. All the time.

[00:20:12]   

 The only reason it becomes a problem is when we use it against ourself in moving forward, when we use it as a reason to not continue. And that’s the challenge with the label itself, is they literally shut down our connection to our wisdom. We make them who we are instead of just a choice we’ve made.

[00:20:31]   

 So being honest with ourselves is, first of all, the essence of self trust, because we become a safe space. To be really clear, like, I am not a procrastinator, but I am choosing to delay this. Let’s look at why that might be. Because if we get curious, maybe it doesn’t actually need to get done, or maybe it can be delegated, or maybe there’s a simpler way or a more strategic way to move forward.

[00:21:01]   

 And that’s your wisdom. Just saying, hey, something’s not ready here. But if we don’t tune in, instead, we place the label on it. We miss out on that wisdom and we miss out on the forward momentum. And we end up trying to drag and pull ourselves across the finish line instead of carrying and championing ourselves forward.

[00:21:20]   

 The same with perfectionism, right? It’s again, that idea of wanting it to be better. But perfect is often just this elusive notion. And so my invitation with perfectionism is to one, pat yourself on the back for having high standards, but then second to define what perfect is for that particular project or that particular piece.

[00:21:50]   

 Because if you define it, then you can work towards it. But if we are always comparing it where we are to some undefined perfect, we’re giving ourselves no way to win. We’re giving ourselves no way to move forward. So we want to define it and just work towards it or release the idea of perfect or to decide that progress is what’s perfect right now.

[00:22:16]  Megan Porta 

 Okay, those are some wise, wise words. And I just want to ask if you’re watching on YouTube, I would love to hear if you struggle with either procrastination or perfectionism. I think it is a, a common issue for, like I said, content creators. I absolutely love what you said, dawn, about labeling ourselves, especially with procrastination.

[00:22:37]   

 So saying I’m a procrastinator, it’s like your brain is going to be like, oh, cool. Well, I’m. It’s going to follow suit, right, and continue procrastinating. But if you can get more curious about it and just say, hmm, this is interesting. I’m not doing this project. Why is that? And kind of digging in more, you can acquire so much more knowledge that way.

[00:23:02]   

 And you’re not putting that label on that heavy label on yourself. That’s just going to carry the through to the end of time, right?

[00:23:11]  Dawn Ledet 

 It does. And then your brain loves to prove you right. And so if you’re telling yourself you’re a procrastinator, your brain is going to just keep showing it to you. See, and this is why you’re not doing it. Because remember you’re a procrastinator. And why are you even thinking about doing that? Because remember you’re a procrastinator.

[00:23:27]   

 Yeah, it’s going to constantly build a case to support you so that you’re right. So our gift though is our brain loves to prove us right no matter what. So give it things you want to prove, right? Like I’m really good at following through. Like I only postpone when it’s necessary. Those are ways that we can start to really grow not only our self trust, but give our brain a case to build for forward momentum, for meeting our goals, for showing up the way we want to.

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[00:25:06]  Megan Porta 

 Just that little change in life, just tweaking your words and what, what you’re thinking and what you’re saying, I think can have such a huge impact in your life. So would you say just if you’re listening, like to challenge yourself to just stop yourself if you’re going to label with something like I’m a procrastinator or I’m a perfectionist or like I have a friend who’s always like I don’t remember birthdays.

[00:25:31]   

 Like, okay, well you’re, you’re, you’re never going to remember birthdays if that’s what you label yourself as. Right. So if you’re labeling yourself in some way just to challenge your words a little bit and reframe, like, what you’re saying.

[00:25:44]  Dawn Ledet 

 Sure. I mean, it’s to look at both sides, right? Because the truth is, how we hear those labels makes a big difference as well. It’s the tone that we hear our inner dialogue in that makes a difference. And I like to remind everyone, our inner dialogue, it’s like words going across a ticker tape in our mind.

[00:26:03]   

 It doesn’t come with a tone naturally. It’s just words in our mind. But we all do give our inner dialogue a tone. It’s very natural. But we also can change it, remove it, adjust it. And that’s important because when you hear something like, you know, you got that so wrong in this really, like, daggers of judgment tone, it sort of shuts you down.

[00:26:28]   

 It takes you back. But if you hear like, like, you got that so wrong. If I’m hearing it in that sort of loving tone, I’m like, wait, did I. What did I get wrong? Or are you just reminding me that I did it really well? Like, are you just, like, inviting me to affirm myself?

[00:26:48]   

 So it’s also the tone we hear in it, because that really does change everything. And so we want to. Sometimes it’s as simple as removing the tone. Like, what if I hear those words right now without it? Like, I forget birthdays. What if that’s not a problem? What do I want to do with that?

[00:27:06]   

 Do I want to just go and add them all in the calendar so that that’s not a problem for me and I still can acknowledge my people’s birthdays? Do I want to start to do a practice where I can memorize them? It opens you up to exploration for, what do I want to do with this information instead of hearing it as this problem that we either have to solve or can’t?

[00:27:29]  Megan Porta 

 Yeah, that makes sense. And the tone in your head is real too. Like, you can talk to yourself. Right. In certain ways where you’re, like, reprimanding or condescending. But then you can also have gentler, softer conversations with yourself where you’re not so like, oh, gosh, you know, that was harsh.

[00:27:48]  Dawn Ledet 

 Well, and we get the idea. Many of us do. I’m not going to say everyone, but many of us get the idea that we have to be harsh to get things done. If we’re not harsh on ourselves, then we’ll never do anything. It’s a really interesting way of thinking of it because we know if you’ve ever led a team or had children or had any kind of relationship that really, it’s not the harsh words that get the results we want.

[00:28:15]   

 We don’t get people to do things by being, I mean you can, but it’s definitely not the way to have a really good relationship and have long term success. So we have to remember and step back and recognize that really forward movement, getting things done, showing up the way we want will happen.

[00:28:39]   

 Not only is it more comfortable and more enjoyable, but it is more time effective and results effective when we’re kind to ourselves, when we’re the ones supporting ourselves. That’s the challenge with the labels because we create this divided, this division. It’s like parts of us are against us is the way that we operate in that way.

[00:29:04]   

 And what our goals need, what our lives need, what we need is this united front. And we get that when we start working together with our inner dialogue, when we’re willing to continue the conversation, when we’re willing to be curious with what’s going on for us and what we need and how we can take care of ourselves, honoring that.

[00:29:25]   

 Some things are uncomfortable and that’s not a problem. And we can also bring in some comforts that don’t hinder our progress.

[00:29:35]  Megan Porta 

 That was beautifully said as well. Do you notice in the people who you work with when they start working on things like procrastination and perfectionism within themselves, that it impacts their businesses positively so that like those sorts of things can kind of show up in your business. If it’s in your brain, it’s going to be in your business.

[00:29:57]   

 And then once you start questioning like, okay, wait, I’m not a procrastinator. Like that whole thing that you were talking about, I’m just pausing because blah, blah, blah, does that start positively impacting the way your business evolves?

[00:30:12]  Dawn Ledet 

 Absolutely. That’s exactly what we work on at the self trust coach because we’re focusing on goals. Because it’s the perfect way to both develop self trust while getting what you want. Because it really is those three skills of making decisions, following through and having your own back that are the key to growing self trust.

[00:30:33]   

 And then when you get really good at fueling your decision making and your follow through and your evaluation process with self trust, your goals are inevitable. And so yes, absolutely, when you’re growing that self trust and you’re mastering your inner dialogue, you are willing not only to make firmer decisions, but you’re willing to make decisions that carry some risk, which as we know in business is required.

[00:31:02]   

 And so you are also able to follow through on those because you know that no matter what the result, you are going to end up with useful data to inform your next path forward and you’re going to have your own back regardless. You’re not going to make those results mean anything about you, except that you’re willing to do what it takes to move forward in your business and you’re going to support yourself the whole way that way.

[00:31:28]   

 The battle, if there is one, is always against what is the next thing that needs to be done or what can I pull in to support. The battle is less, is not internal. We’re going to reserve that battles are going to show up. I always say the heart is going to come, we don’t have to look for it, we’re not going to miss it when it shows up, we’re going to know it’s there.

[00:31:51]   

 And when we have self trust, we know we can handle whatever comes. We just don’t have to create the battle internally or create the hard within ourselves.

[00:32:00]  Megan Porta 

 I love your point about data. Like doing these things can kind of build that database of like, okay, I did this, it was hard, but look at the outcome. It worked out well for me. Like with your story about walking to work, I’m assuming that you have accumulated positive data from that and that builds confidence, right?

[00:32:19]   

 So over time you’re like, okay, I can go back to my data and see that this equals this equals this, everything’s good, everything’s better. So then you can move forward in just such a new way with increased confidence and I’m sure so many other things.

[00:32:34]  Dawn Ledet 

 Yes, I recommend one of the things, and I would invite your listeners too is starting an “I’m so impressed” list. I keep it as a Google Doc so that I can access it on my phone, I can access it on my computer, on my iPad and my clients find so much use in this as I buy.

[00:32:54]   

 Because not only are you constantly adding to it, it’s not this other thing to do by the way, at least we don’t use it as homework that you have to do. It’s this lovely collection of things to connect to that you have endured, overcome, achieved. And what’s beautiful about adding to it here and there is every time you go to add to it, you’re going to see at least 5 above it of things that you’re already impressed with and so you’re connecting to how capable you are.

[00:33:28]   

 And then this tool becomes so useful in those moments where you’re having trouble actually accessing how amazing you are. You can go to the I’m so impressed list. I’m so impressed that I didn’t yell at that lady in the grocery store line. Or I’m so impressed that I learned how to code to build my website.

[00:33:47]   

 I’m so impressed that I wrote that piece and it got this many likes. It’s going to everything from accomplishments to resilience, building activities and experiences that you’ve.

[00:34:01]  Megan Porta 

 I love that that list is so important. I call it just like a wins list. But I like the I’m so impressed because then that’s important wording too for yourself. Like, I’m impressed with how I did this nice job. And then, you know, I can move forward into anything, I can do anything. It gives you that just empowering boost of confidence, which I think we all need that occasionally.

[00:34:24]  Dawn Ledet 

 Yes.

[00:34:25]  Megan Porta 

 So if somebody is listening and they’re like, oh, gosh, I have no idea where I’m falling within the realm of self trust or any of this inner dialogue or anything, where do you recommend they start? Just being more aware of what their inner dialogue is or. I don’t know. I’m curious how you would answer that.

[00:34:45]  Dawn Ledet 

 One great way to start is to notice when you have questions internally, like, why is this so hard? Or why am I not doing this? And instead of letting them just land as if they are, because, let’s be honest, those are, especially if you’re hearing them in a particular tone, they are just judgments that are disguised as questions.

[00:35:09]   

 Just because it has a question mark at the end doesn’t make it curious. And so we want to make sure that we are answering those. And look, we are not answering it with rainbows and daisies. We’re not trying to convince ourselves of things that aren’t true. But if I ask myself the question, like, why is this so hard?

[00:35:28]   

 I’m hearing it in a tone that’s saying something’s wrong with me. And if I answer it instead so that my brain doesn’t go off and start collecting evidence and you can feel yourself just sort of shrink. You might not notice the dialogue that’s happening or the evidence gathering that’s happening behind the scenes, but it’s happening.

[00:35:48]   

 So we want to answer that question. And it can be as easy as it’s hard because it’s new. It’s hard because I haven’t done it before, but I totally can. It’s important we answer those questions. I used to ask myself a question that was, what’s wrong with me? Came up all the time.

[00:36:09]   

 It still does, but now I have an answer for it. But when you hear something like, what’s wrong with me? And it’s so. Seems so innocent, right? Like maybe you’re talking to a friend. It comes out in a lot of people’s dialogue externally, not just internally. Like you drop something and you’re like, what’s wrong with me?

[00:36:27]   

 We think that it’s just sort of humorous light, but what’s happening is our brain starts to go find evidence to answer that question. Like, here’s some things. What about this? Remember this thing? So we want to answer it. And the truth is, for that question, if anyone listening has had that question, I want you to answer it as nothing.

[00:36:50]   

 Because I tried an in between answer to that and it was everything and nothing. Because I thought it was hilarious. I thought it was very funny to answer it that way. But it still led to the more that I explored because I have this deep connection with what’s happening in the background. After so many years of practice, I could still feel the deflation.

[00:37:10]   

 I could tell that there was some evidence building going on still suggesting that there is. And look, the truth is, nothing is wrong with any of us. But when we say something like that, our brain goes on a fishing expedition in what I call a pond with no fish. But it will keep circling and circling and circling that pond, trying to make things up.

[00:37:31]   

 If it can’t prove you right, it’ll start creating things. So we have to answer it. And the truth is, nothing is wrong with you. And I love and. And yet that’s the next tool I’m going to give you for talking through. Starting to connect with your inner dialogue is adding those two, three letter words.

[00:37:49]   

 It’s like, I can’t do this yet. There’s nothing wrong with me. And I have, I have something to learn here, and that’s okay. Continuing the conversation is how we create connection with ourselves and we avoid that negative confirmation bias of evidence building.

[00:38:10]  Megan Porta 

 Oh, that’s powerful. I think a lot of us ask ourselves that or say that to ourselves. What is wrong with me? I have a business coach and I think this was probably a year ago. I said that question out loud to him and you should have seen his response. He was like, Megan, don’t, like, don’t ever, literally, don’t ever say that again.

[00:38:30]   

 I was like, like what? Like, I think I, I think I must say it a lot. Or at least before that point I did, but I never thought of it like, the way you’re saying it. It’s like, of course you’re gonna get Answers the wrong answers that you don’t want if you pose that question to yourself.

[00:38:47]   

 So that was an enlightening moment for me. And I hope that people listening are like, oh, gosh, if I say that I need to reframe it or do the end, I like the, the. And yet that’s a great way to kind of follow up with that too.

[00:39:02]  Dawn Ledet 

 And just this awareness now that you know, like some, some examples, like what’s wrong with me and why is this so hard? You’ll start listening for it. That’s your inner dialogue. It’s like posing these questions to you. And I like to think of two invitations that I’m going to give to you. It’s either inviting you to affirm yourself, your path or your goal.

[00:39:23]   

 So it may sound negative, like, what’s wrong with you? If I hear that through self trust as an invitation to affirm myself, my answer is a resounding absolutely nothing. And thank you for reminding me of that. The other invitation is a new perspective. Like, if I hear that through self trust, looking for a new perspective, it’s like, what’s wrong with me?

[00:39:46]   

 Like, checking in, is there something that I want that I need right now? Is there something that I’m calling for care wise or comfort wise, that I can support myself here? Tiny shifts. And if we know that we’re on our own side, which is my whole goal with this conversation, is to recognize that all of you is for you.

[00:40:06]   

 That’s the lens I offer everyone to take on. All of me is for me, because when all of me is for me, all of those thoughts that come up, they are just invitations to either affirm myself or to see a different perspective.

[00:40:19]  Megan Porta 

 Hmm. I feel like this sort of thing is the foundation for a successful business. We often get caught up in the, you know, the business aspects, like SEO and what’s your Pinterest strategy and how good is your food photography and all of that. But sometimes we just need to like, like rewind and come to these foundational things where it’s like, okay, now this is actually gonna set the stage for success.

[00:40:46]   

 You know what I mean? Like, do you find that entrepreneurs often gloss over this part and just try to get right into the business aspect?

[00:40:56]  Dawn Ledet 

 Of course, because we are action people, which is funny because we’re also people who like to place labels on ourselves, like procrastination and perfectionism and stop ourselves from moving forward. But we think the answers to everything are in the strategy. And strategy is important. It’s very important. But it’s not everything because lots of strategies will work.

[00:41:18]   

 And look, there are experts with very diverse strategies and very complimentary strategies out there. And they all can work. They’ve all worked, I’m certain, for the people they help and who they are in their own lives. But you have to decide what works for you. And so I always say there’s only three things that really hold us back.

[00:41:40]   

 I know I’m really big on the threes. I can see there’s the three skills it takes to achieve anything and there’s really only three things that hold us back and those are skill gaps, knowledge gaps and belief gaps. And the truth is you can learn, build, hire out, or delegate those first two.

[00:41:57]   

 But if your inner dialog is constantly speaking doubt and disbelief to you, no amount of skill and strategy and knowledge is going to carry you as far as you can go.

[00:42:08]  Megan Porta 

 Yeah, amen to that. So how do you help entrepreneurs? So why do they come to you? Are they in the awareness mode where they’re like I need to rewrite my my self talk or. Yeah, how did, how do you find entrepreneurs who need your help?

[00:42:26]  Dawn Ledet 

 Yeah, generally it’s people who are recognizing that I know what to do. Now. We have a program called the Self Trust Lab that takes you through the three skills and gives an actual roadmap for goal success. So we have practical tools to support that. But they know the idea of what to do and they’re just not following through.

[00:42:50]   

 They’re not moving forward because it’s never about like your capability or your capacity. You have both and you have the ability of growing both. But if we are not honing in and building that self trust, we’re going to keep trying to slap strategy and calendars on ourselves to no avail. And so it’s the entrepreneurs that recognize that they’re at the place where self trust is the thing that’s holding them back.

[00:43:21]   

 And so they come in and get support that way.

[00:43:24]  Megan Porta 

 And how do you support, is it a coaching situation or course?

[00:43:29]  Dawn Ledet 

 So I have two ways that people work with me. We have the Self Trust Lab which is actual framework for setting and achieving goals where we are going through an obstacle abatement plan creating, a comfort plan creating. We do time differently, which is really fun how you set deadlines for your goals. The Self Trust way is very different.

[00:43:54]   

 So that is a at your own pace lifetime access program with 12 weeks of one on one coaching. And then we have the Self Trust executive which is a more bespoke program for people who want a higher level, higher touch service for just more expansive growth in A shorter period of time.

[00:44:15]  Megan Porta 

 And then one last thing I wanted to go back to that you said was the energy. You mentioned that when you start to do things differently, that it requires energy. So just to kind of be aware of that, because energy is so precious for me, I have always. It’s something that I’ve struggled with, like just going through seasons where I’m lacking energy and I have to kind of rebuild it.

[00:44:41]   

 So I just wanted to bring that to people’s awareness that if you do start questioning yourself a little bit and building these skills, that you’re probably going to notice that your energy is depleted a little bit. Would you agree?

[00:44:54]  Dawn Ledet 

 It can be. And there’s two ways to look at an energy depletion, right. There’s energy taken that is draining and there is energy expended that is so satisfying and so shifting. The energy that you’re pouring into it when you’re pouring into it for you, for your goals, for yourself, and you’re doing it in a way that supports you instead of is dragging yourself forward, I would say it’s actually energy producing, but for the energy that is expended, if you will, it is so satisfying.

[00:45:34]   

 It’s like the end of a day where you have just accomplished everything on your list and you’re just tired. But it’s the satisfactory tired. Yeah, that’s what we’re looking for. Instead of this, I’m drained. I feel like I have emptied myself and I don’t know how to replenish it.

[00:45:53]  Megan Porta 

 I’m so glad you differentiated that because there is a difference. I have those days where I know, I mean, it was just. It was challenging but in the best, most fulfilling way. And that is a different kind of tired than when I’m doing something that’s not aligned with my goals or my soul that like those days are like, oh, gosh, that was a doozy.

[00:46:14]   

 So, yeah, you’re right. It’s still an energy drain, but it’s. It’s a different type of exhaustion, I guess.

[00:46:22]  Dawn Ledet 

 Yes.

[00:46:23]  Megan Porta 

 Yeah. Absolutely amazing. This has been such a great conversation. I absolutely love talking about how self talk and how mindset and kind of self care really can impact your business so positively if you just give it a little bit of attention. So thank you, Dawn, for bringing this to the table. Loved this conversation.

[00:46:44]  Dawn Ledet 

 Oh, it’s been such an honor. Thank you.

[00:46:46]  Megan Porta 

 Do you have either a favorite quote or words of inspiration to leave us with?

[00:46:50]  Dawn Ledet 

 I have this quote that I just love from EE Cummings that I’d love to share and it’s “Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human experience.”

[00:47:07]  Megan Porta 

 That’s beautiful. What a perfect way to end.  You chose that really well. Thank you for that. We will put together a show notes page for you so if anyone wants to go look at those. We’ll have everything in there that we discussed today in the episode. It can be found at eatblogtalk.com/theselftrustcoach so reiterate where everyone can find you if they want to work with you, how to go about doing that. And yeah, all those goodies.

[00:47:35]  Dawn Ledet 

 Yeah, a great place to start would be to go to theselftrustcoach.com and grab “Master your inner dialogue.” It’s my book that is more than a book really. It’s a guide to transforming the conversation with yourself and moving towards your goals with more confidence and ease. And you can both grab a copy there and join Beyond the Pages, which is a really fun guided walkthrough email series that will take you through the book.

[00:48:02]  Megan Porta 

 Awesome. Well, thank you again Dawn for joining us and thank you for listening food bloggers. I will see you next time.

[00:48:11]  Outro

 Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Eat Blog Talk. Please share this episode with a friend who would benefit from tuning in. I will see you next time.