Episode 751: When Life Looks Full, But Feels Empty (Mindset & Self-Care)

EBT751 – When Life Looks Full, But Feels Empty

Intro  00:01

Hey food bloggers. Thank you so much for joining me in this mindset and self-care focused episode here on Eat Blog Talk. One of the reasons I started a blog talk was to hold a space to talk about the importance of mindset and self-care. Being an entrepreneur can be a lot. If we are not taking care of ourselves, then getting actionable information about SEO Pinterest or whatever else is all moot. I will meet you back here every Wednesday to discuss various mindset and self-care topics. So you have the energy and space to tackle the rest.

[00:00:24]   Megan Porta

Hello friends. Let’s dig right in today. I want to get right to it. I’m wondering if you have ever looked around at your life and had that thought that everything is full.

[00:00:47]   

Everything looks full. So why do I still feel so empty? Maybe everything in your house is humming along great. The fridge is stocked with food. Your gas tanks are filled with gas.

[00:01:03]   

Your inbox and your calendar are overflowing. From the outside it looks like you’re thriving, you’re abundant. But inside, perhaps you feel a little bit numb or disconnected or like your spark is flickering out and you are about to extinguish. Almost as if you’re going through the motions of living someone else’s life life and you’ve lost the reins on your own life. If that is you, first take a deep breath.

[00:01:39]   

Literally stop right now and take a deep breath.

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You are not broken. Your business is not broken. Your family, your life. They are not broken. You’re not ungrateful.

[00:01:53]   

And most importantly, you’re not alone. I have been there. So many others listening have been there as well. So today I want to talk about that ache that lives beneath the surface and what it might actually be trying to tell you. I remember a very distinct moment when I was sitting at my kitchen counter in, I don’t know, a couple years ago now.

[00:02:20]   

I was looking at my laptop and staring at my mile long to do list. I opened my Google calendar and it was jam packed full of calls and lots of stuff going on. It was clear that I didn’t have a lack of things going on in both my personal life and my professional life.

[00:02:45]   

Everyone in my family was being properly cared for. Bills are being paid.

[00:02:50]   

Everything on paper was pointing to overflowing abundance. But in my body it felt like quicksand. I was tired. Not just tired, I was exhausted. My body felt achy in a way that no amount of sleep could fix.

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And mostly I just remember feeling hollow, very empty inside. And I asked myself, is this it? Did I really build all of this. Just to feel this. That question terrified me.

[00:03:24]   

Because I thought I should feel grateful. I thought I should feel satisfied, if nothing else. And I thought maybe I was just being dramatic. But then I realized the ache was not a sign that I was failing. It was a signal, whispering to me, you were made for more aliveness than this.

[00:03:46]   

Pay attention. Here is the truth. I wish someone had told me at the time. Fullness on the outside does not guarantee fullness on the inside. Any one of us can build entire empires on shoulds.

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But what if they don’t align with what makes us come alive? Then those empires can feel like cages. Emptiness is not proof that you’ve done something wrong. It’s proof that your soul is awake enough to notice. This doesn’t feel right.

[00:04:21]   

That awareness is great news. It’s actually a gift. And it’s a really good place to start. So let’s do a reframe. Fulfillment is not about adding more to your plate.

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It’s about allowing yourself to want something different. To notice what lights you up, what makes you come alive, and to trust those sparks when you feel them.

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Here is my invitation for you today. Notice a spark and follow it. It’s as simple as that. You might have to go looking for it. Or maybe it will come to you.

[00:04:55]   

Both happen to me from time to time. I’m going to tell you a little story about sparks. So recently, my oldest son, Elijah, handed me a flyer for an open house that was in our mailbox. At first, I brushed it off. I remember looking at it and thinking, okay, thank you for sharing.

[00:05:15]   

I set it down on the kitchen table, and he came back to me again with the same flyer and handed it to me again. This time, I paid attention, and I realized that was something I needed to follow. It was a spark. And it actually ended up stirring something inside of me that I’ve been dreaming about quietly for many years.

[00:05:37]   

Which is a retreat house, owning a second home with a garden, a creative studio space, a place where I can host multiple retreats throughout the year.

[00:05:49]   

That flyer was the spark. My sweet soul. Elijah was delivering that spark. Love him to pieces. I don’t know how, but he knew that I needed it.

[00:06:02]   

Following it did not end in buying the house that was for sale, but it did end in me feeling alive again and excited about the potential of this future house that exists. I just don’t have it yet. And that is the whole point of this. If you want to catch a spark today, try something that brings you bliss. It might be something really ordinary.

[00:06:23]   

And I have a few ideas for you. This is something I’ve been doing a lot lately and it seems like it wouldn’t work. It seems too overly simplified, but it’s amazing. Get your feet in the grass, take off your shoes, go outside and walk around in the grass for five to 10 minutes. It is spark inducing for me.

[00:06:46]   

Dance in your living room to a favorite song. I used to do this with my boys all the time. We don’t do it anymore, but I wish we did. Step outside in the evening as the sky’s getting dark and the stars start to shine and look for that first star. If you are a car singer, go drive to the grocery store and sing loudly in your car.

[00:07:09]   

Text someone a memory that makes you smile. I love doing this because it always provides some sort of spark for me, but also maybe for the other person. Sip a cup of tea or coffee slowly enjoying it. With no phone or laptop nearby, sit outside and watch the clouds for five minutes. Here’s one I often dismiss, but that always brings some sort of spark and that is saying no to something that does not align or feel right.

[00:07:40]   

Right for you. Then when a spark flies your way, follow it. Do not ignore it. Promise yourself that you will follow it. This conversation here, these few minutes, this is just the beginning.

[00:07:56]   

I am publishing a memoir in the next few months called Take the Exit. It is my raw, funny, messy story of following that exact ache into a life that finally felt true again for me and my family. If you have ever whispered to yourself, is this it? Then this book is for you.

[00:08:16]   

It might just give you the permission that you’ve been waiting for.

[00:08:20]   

If you want to get on the email list so you can learn more about the book and get sneak peeks and find out how to pre order and all of that great information, head to eatblogtalk.com/takethexit and get on that list. And remember, you are not alone. You are not behind. The emptiness that you might feel right now is not the end of your journey.It is the doorway to a new way of living.

[00:08:46]   

Thank you so much for listening. I will see you back here next time. 

Outro 

Thank you so much for listening to this mindset and self care episode. These mindset episodes are now available on YouTube, so watch it over there. Search Eat Blog Talk on YouTube and we’ll see you there.