Episode 615: How to Improve Focus, Consistency and Discipline For Long-Term Success with Elan Gelfand

EBT615 – Elan Gelfand

Intro 00:00

Food bloggers. Hi, how are you today? Thank you so much for tuning in to the Eat Blog Talk podcast. This is the place for food bloggers to get information and inspiration to accelerate your blog’s growth, and ultimately help you to achieve your freedom. Whether that’s financial, personal, or professional. I’m Megan Porta. I have been a food blogger for 13 years, so I understand how isolating food blogging can be. I’m on a mission to motivate, inspire, and most importantly, let each and every food blogger, including you, know that you are heard and supported. 

Supercut  00:16

Hey, food bloggers, check out our new SEO supercut, a bonus 15 minute episode capturing highlights from SEO episodes we have recorded recently. Go to eatblogtalk.com/SEOsupercut to get access today. 

Megan Porta  00:53

Every once in a while, don’t you feel like you need just a good deep conversation to stir up passion from within you, to help you be more consistent with the things you know you need to do, and to find the discipline and focus that you need. Well, if so this conversation, is it. Elan Gelfand, he is the podcast host over at abundant thinking. He joined me in this interview to talk about all of these things and more. I think it’s great to talk about the nitty gritty details of business, Pinterest, SEO, keyword research and all that good stuff. But sometimes it’s good to give attention to the things that are going to get us to success, which is focus, discipline, consistency, how to handle judgment from others and how to stir up passion. I hope this conversation will be really insightful for you and motivational. I thoroughly enjoyed recording it. It is episode number 615 sponsored by RankIQ. 

Sponsor  01:51

Hey, we have a few spots available for the 2025 mastermind groups, and I want to give you a chance to grab one of them. One of the reasons this group just works so well is because when you invest in yourself and in your business in a really big way, you become more focused, dedicated and serious about what you do. For more information and to apply for these groups, go to eatblogtalk.com/mastermind, current member, Lucy from Southern Food and Fun talks about that in this clip. “Anybody on the fence, you know, I highly recommend the mastermind. It’s expensive, but it’s an investment in your business, an investment in yourself. And I feel like, definitely, for me, when you have skin in the game, you will put more into it. Like, I feel like I’m working harder because I’m paying this money for this mastermind, so I need to be present and focused and get as much out of it as I can. So that’s definitely helpful to me. I highly recommend it.”

Megan Porta  02:53

Elan Gelfand started the podcast Abundant Thinking where he talks about how to live a purposeful life and how to improve your mindset. Elan has spoken to some of the best coaches in their industry and has valuable insight on how to succeed and how to cultivate a bulletproof mindset.

Megan Porta  03:10

Elan, welcome to Eat Blog Talk. How are you doing today?

Elan Gelfand  03:14

I’m doing fantastic. Thank you so much for asking.

Megan Porta  03:17

Yeah, super excited to have you here, because you love talking about mindset. And my listeners know I love talking about mindset as well, so I can’t wait for this chat. But before we do that, do you have a fun fact to share with us about yourself?

Elan Gelfand  03:30

Yes, I do. First of all, thank you for having me. Megan, I’m very excited for this opportunity. Fun fact about myself is in the future. In the next couple of years, I do want to write a book. I want it to be focused on mindset and the whole goal of the book, although I haven’t thought about it, you know, from start to finish, it would be just helping people who might be a little bit lost or on the right track get back into the right place, to help improve their mindset and put themselves in the right position for their lives.

Megan Porta  03:59

That’s good. Yes, definitely write that book. I think that could help a ton of people, right, especially in business.

Elan Gelfand  04:05

Yeah, absolutely. 

Megan Porta  04:06

Yeah. Cool, awesome. And then you do have a podcast, I would love for you to tell us about your podcast.

Elan Gelfand  04:13

Yeah. So my podcast, it’s called Abundant Thinking. The main I would say, talking points. My podcast, I talk a lot about mindset. That’s kind of where the name abundant thinking comes from. I wanted to create a platform where I’m able to help people think past, you know, the broad topics and things that are maybe easier to grasp and start to think deeper about themselves and the places that they want to go in their lives. So as I previously mentioned, talk a lot about mindset. I talk about procrastination, discipline, consistency and confidence as well. Also, something that I’ve been doing a lot more recently on my podcast is uploading episodes that are just quotes. So I’m a very big fan of quotes, and when I you know whether it’s reading something or I’m talking to a friend, and something pops pops out at me, whether it be a quote or a thought. Sometimes I’ll formulate that into an episode and give my audience my opinion of what it means to me and how it could help them in their life. 

Megan Porta  05:08

Oh my gosh, I love that. That’s that sounds right up my alley, too. I’m a big quote fan, and I feel like every day, at least once, I read something that stands out, and I’m like, I should like, give this some thought or journal or talk about this, right? So that’s such a great outlet for that. 

Elan Gelfand  05:24

100% that’s very cool. 

Megan Porta  05:25

Cool. I can’t wait to check out your podcast. Sounds like something that could benefit all of us. And then today, we’re just going to talk about kind of some of those topics you mentioned that fall under the umbrella of mindset. I love these. These Are so important, not just for being a healthy human, but also being a really effective and successful entrepreneur, I think so, yeah, let’s just start with like, one of the things you mentioned, I think, which is discipline. I think discipline is so important for food bloggers and other entrepreneurs. So how do we stay focused on our goals, Elan?

Elan Gelfand  06:05

Yeah, absolutely. So from my perspective, I would put discipline and staying focused in a different category, if that makes sense. So I’ll explain briefly. For me, discipline is doing the same thing over and over again, regardless of the outcomes that you might get or the environment that you’re in, and staying focused is when you’re actually in that environment, making sure that you’re going to take the time you know, to do the thing, because you can stay focused on something, but it doesn’t mean you’re going to be disciplined and do it again the next day, for example. Right? So to answer your question, how can people stay focused, I would say, create the right environment. And I see this time and time again. I mean, I know even in James Clears book Atomic Habits, he talks about the fact that you want to create the right environment for yourself. Now, it’s easier said than done, right because a lot of people know what they should be doing, but might not necessarily like want to put them in that spot. I’ll give you a good example. I’m a student right now. Student right now, and you know, even for me, sometimes it’ll happen where I know I have to study, right? Or I know I have to do this thing, but it’s like, oh, but do I want to review notes for two and a half hours? Right? Do I want to do this thing? So a couple huge recommendations for me is, when you’re doing something, there’s a little bit of, I guess, a split road, like a decision that you can make. So when I have something that I want to do, and this also falls into discipline as well. So we’re going to say, say I want to write my book right if I wanted to complete the first chapter, there’s two ways that I put myself in the right environment. The first way is a goal oriented goal. I’ll say kind of tricky name. And the second one is time oriented. So goal oriented means, okay, I’m going to sit down and I’m going to write until I finish chapter one, like that’s what I’m going to do no matter what happens. This is, this is the goal as of right now. The other one, which is time oriented, is, okay, I might not finish chapter one, but what I’m going to do is I’m going to sit down and write for an hour straight, not worried about how far I go, how good it is, just right? And one of my favorite parts about the time oriented, which I feel like I do more of, is you can adjust it to how you know, I guess your level of discipline. I think throughout my life, I’ve been able to improve my discipline and build it more because I know a version of myself four years ago would not be able to put in, you know, two hours of work on something that I wouldn’t want to do, but I can now, so it’s something you can build up. And I urge people who are listening to this, who might want to do something, whether it be a goal or an outcome, to try this method and slowly build up yourself as far as, like, you know, a time perspective. And what I have found that this does is it kind of eliminates all of the questions. You know, I remember I used to be trying to do homework, and I’d be like, I’m gonna complete this problem, and then we’ll see what I’m gonna do after that. Oh, I got a notification on my phone. I’m gonna check that. But with this method, it’s like, you have your only goal in front of you, right? If you know you have to write this chapter, it’s like, Okay, I’m gonna write this chapter and that’s it. And, or, I guess I should say, or I’m going to do this for an hour and see how far I get. And the amount of work that you can get in a certain amount of time done is going to surprise a lot of you guys, because we spend so much of our time half focused, half not that you’re not really, you can’t make sense of how much work you can really get done something that I do is I’ll have, like, an alarm clock, kind of or, I guess, a clock app on my phone. And when I’m doing work, when I’m studying, when I’m doing something for my podcast, I will start the timer, and when I get distracted by something, I’ll stop the timer. And then at the end of your, you know, podcast session, study session. You can see, oh, man, like, I only like actually studied for an hour, but, you know, two hours have gone by, so you can get a grasp of how much work you’ve actually done. 

Elan Gelfand  10:12

And as far as staying focused, it’s hard to stay focused when there’s a lot of things in your way, when you have a lot of limbic friction. That’s what it’s called, a lot of friction for you to not do the thing you’re supposed to right? So when I say creating the right environment, you just want to put yourself in the most ideal circumstance, an ideal situation. Okay, I got to study for three hours. What are some things that are going to stop me? Well, my phone’s the first one. So what I’m going to do is I’m going to put my phone in another room or something that I recommend I use an app called Opal. I don’t have, like, I don’t make money or anything off of it, but pretty much, Opal is an app that allows you to block your apps, if you like, when you want to. And, you know, there’s a premium version, yeah, there’s a premium version that I’m paying for, which is kind of like, you literally can lock down your apps, and no matter what, you can’t get into them. So it’s kind of like you have no other choice, which I love so much. 

Megan Porta  11:06

I love that so much. I think so many of us need that that’s so great. 

Elan Gelfand  11:09

Yeah, totally. And I’ve been using it for such a long time that it’s like, it’s a no brainer for me at this point. So you know, for me in the situation, I’m like, Okay, I gotta study for three hours. I’m gonna boot up my Opal, and I’m gonna make sure I can’t get in these apps. And because I think a lot of people will say to themselves that they’re gonna put themselves in an ideal circumstance, but they know they’re gonna cheat. I’ll give you guys a perfect example. I used to put my phone, like my alarm clock, my phone, same thing, away from my bed, like the opposite side of the room, because people were saying, like, do that. You’re gonna just go to bed and you might as well stay awake. But what I was doing, was doing is, you know, I was waking up to my alarm, getting out of my bed, turning it off, and then going back. So this way, it just makes it easier for me with Opal that, like I don’t have another choice, right? Yeah, same thing. So you look okay. What else is gonna distract me? Oh, if I have friends in my room, obviously I’m not gonna get the work done. So go to another room. Go to a library, go to somewhere you can actually focus better. I know for me, I am a very like context switching person. Like when I switch my context and I go somewhere new, it allows me to focus more. So sorry for that long answer, but I would say in order to stay focused.

Megan Porta  12:17

There’s so much good stuff in there. Yeah, and I like how you kind of divided focus from discipline, because it is different. Like, discipline is doing things over and over, and focus is actually sitting down to do the thing, but together, they create such a powerhouse. Like, I don’t know, movement, I guess, effort, totally okay. So also, I loved the goal oriented and the time oriented, because I think people could probably work differently depending on just their personality. Like from for me, time works really well, like I can have a three hour block and just sit down and crank out a ton of work, but I can see where some people might be more goal oriented, and just like I need to get this blog post written, or this podcast episode recorded, so kind of whatever works best for them. Do you think, like, where do people start with that if they want to build their discipline?

Elan Gelfand  13:09

Right, I would definitely agree with you and say what works best for them, but the way to know what works best for you is trying different things. In my experience, I’m also like, I mentioned more of a time person, because I feel like I can get more stuff done if I tell myself that I’m gonna get, you know, some script done, and then I’m gonna be done with, uh, whatever activity I’m doing, it won’t take me as much time as if I said an actual time block. So I feel like the time block works best for me because I’m just able to get more stuff done. I would have thought that I would write one script in that time block, but in reality, I wrote two and a half, right? So I would say to anybody who might want to try this, see what works for you. Start with time. Start with goal oriented. It’s whatever you know, whatever you want to start with. Just experiment with different things and also, once you see, okay, maybe I like time a little bit more, try out different times. And see a good middle point for you, because I’m not gonna lie, I can’t sit there for four hours and crank out work. I’ll get exhausted, I’ll get tired, and, you know, I’ll probably get hungry as well. But you know, an hour and a half, two hours, is a really good midpoint for me, and it’s the point where I feel like, I feel that I’ve gotten a lot of work done. I feel like I’ve succeeded, and I’m also a little bit tired to the point where, okay, a nice break would be very nice. 

Megan Porta  14:33

Yeah. I also love that you talked about the fact that you can improve your discipline. I hear a lot of people say, like, I’m undisciplined. I’m not a very disciplined person, and that drives me crazy, because I think everyone can work on this and turn into a disciplined person and then increase it over time. So I love that you pointed that out too.

Elan Gelfand  14:52

Can I add something too? Sorry for interrupting. I was gonna say that a lot of the episodes that I’ll record, especially in the past have been for a past version of me and and I’ll even talk to my friends too. That’s one of the reasons I even started my podcast. I used to be quote, unquote undisciplined. I never had confidence. I was never consistent, all of these things, which is why I feel like I now that I’ve changed myself, I’m in a position to speak about it. But the number one thing is knowing that you can change it, because once you adopt the methodology that, oh, this is just who I am. I’m undisciplined. Not only do you become pessimistic because you see other people who are better than you, and you think that, you know, oh, they’re just lucky, or oh, they have it so good. But also, you know, it completely affects your life. You start to go around with this attitude, right? You might have something you have to do, whether it be, you know, we’re gonna say, for a blog, for example, you’re gonna say, Oh, I’m undisciplined. You know? Why would I even start the blog? Because I know myself, I’m undisciplined. I’ll do it one week, but I won’t do it the other but it’s something you can build and actually maintain and turn into a complete powerhouse, which is why I loved when you mentioned that focus. I think focus, short term turns into discipline, long term, if you get it long enough. 

Megan Porta  16:07

Oh, that’s good. Yeah, that’s really good. Also, your Opal app, great suggestion, because I use the parental controls on my phone. But I’m going to be honest, sometimes I’m like, because you can ignore or like, you know, ignore for 15 minutes, or ignore for the day. It’s so easy just to tap that. But with this Opal app, how, I mean, how stringent is it? Is it like it shuts everything down for a certain amount of time, or what?

Elan Gelfand  16:34

Yeah, so with the Opal app, you can select which apps you want to shut down. So for example, for me, I know my biggest like apps of consumption, I’ll say, is Snapchat, Instagram, YouTube. So I shut those apps down no matter what, and then so, like I was talking about earlier, you have to test things out, like I talked about with time oriented goals and goal oriented goals, you have to test out to see what works for you. I’ve been using Opal long enough that I realized when I block Instagram, Snapchat and YouTube. Oh, you know, there’s this one app that I don’t really use anymore, but since I can’t use Instagram, I might as well use this. You know what I mean. So I’ll block that one out too. It’s very funny, because it has completely exposed my technological addiction, completely. So to answer your question, you can choose the apps that you want to block out. And then there’s different difficulty involved. That’s what they call it. So there’s a snooze one, which is the same thing as parental controls. And trust me, I’ve tried parental controls too. They don’t work for me either. I always do the Ignore limit, 100% totally understand. Then I think there’s like a focus one, where you can’t snooze right away, but you have to wait a certain amount of time. And then there’s a deep focus, which is like, I even tell us, to my friends, one of your relatives could be in a terrible situation trying to reach out to you on an app that you blocked, and you’re not going to know about it, but, and that was one of the things that I used to be very scared about, because I think that’s what a lot of people might think immediately when they hear about this whole idea of, no matter what, you can’t get into this app, but trust me, you will find a way around things. What I mean by that is, for example, my friends know to call me if it’s anything important, so I shut down Snapchat, right? I shut down all these things. And I don’t worry, because if it’s this much of an emergency, like they will find a way to reach out to me. And also, I’m usually not like the first person somebody will reach out to if there is something like that happening, right? So that’s one thing I would use to discredit this idea. But it has never happened. I’ve been using this app for probably a year and a half, and never once have I, you know, like escaped my time, like I’ll set a timer from every day from 6am to 2:30pm like all my apps are shut down, right? Never have I gone onto my phone after my timer and seen messages that say, Elan, oh, my God, this is crazy. I can’t believe you don’t return my call. All this. So, yeah, it’s very reassuring.

Megan Porta  18:52

We always worry, right? Like, oh, the world is going to fall apart. People are going to need me. There’s going to be emergencies, but yeah, most likely you’ll be just fine. Everyone will survive.

Elan Gelfand  19:05

And also, I feel like this is I’ll talk, I talked about some of my podcasts too, and this might be a little bit of an extreme, like take but what I realized for myself is that, like, nobody really cares, like nobody’s I used to think, oh, man, if I lock my Snapchat, all these people’s messages are going to be going down the drain. They’re gonna think I don’t care about them. But, you know, this might sound kind of bad, but when I go on Snapchat, like, nobody’s really reaching out to me, right? Like, maybe a couple people, but nobody. It’s not an emergency. Nobody’s dying. So it’s like, what I say on my podcast is nobody really cares about you, like you think they do, and if they do, they know where to find you.

Megan Porta  19:39

I know it’s like, kind of, I mean, this is harsh, but like, kind of get over yourself a little bit like, you’re not always important as you This is a message for me lately that I’ve been kind of thinking over is, like, I put importance on so much, and so I’ve had to kind of start learning that not everything is as important. As I think it is, and that’s including myself. So yeah, just kind of like, give having that attitude in regards to everyone, and I don’t know, just a good message all around.

Elan Gelfand  20:12

Totally. And also, one more thing I’m gonna say is kind of, what’s the alternative? Is a good way that I like to think about things. So it’s like, you’re gonna allow yourself to be distracted every single day, just because you’re gonna wait for that one message that somebody is has an emergency and they need you right away, and you’re gonna think about that every single day when you could be putting in, you know, minutes or hours of deep work that would be so much more beneficial to you. 

Megan Porta  20:37

Yes, that’s so true, and other people, right, you’re benefiting others as well. 

Elan Gelfand  20:42

Totally. 

Megan Porta  20:42

Yeah, so much good stuff to think about there. Okay, I want to get to consistency, because this is one of the things that I feel like I’ve been really good at, and consistency has been the reason for a lot of things I’ve succeeded at, honestly, like doing that thing you know you need to do over and over and over, even when it feels like it’s not working, is so crucial. So talk to us about consistency a little bit.

Elan Gelfand  21:06

Yeah. So consistency, I also will put in the same bracket as discipline, because consistency, over a long period of time creates the discipline, kind of like you were talking about staying focused, which I love. Congratulations also on your amazing success with consistency, because not just anybody can get it down, although it is very hard. And I’m gonna say, although there isn’t this magic like solution to consistency, one of the biggest things I recommend people and seems to work, is very short term consistency. So if you have to do something because when somebody has a goal or an objective they want to achieve. They start thinking very, very long time frames, right? So they’re like, Okay, I need to lose 40 pounds, for example. Okay, that means I gotta go, go hit the gym every single day, or maybe whatever, five, six times a week. And they think, oh, man, five, six times a week, that’s going to be for this week, next week, the week after that, and it starts to get so, so overwhelming. And this can apply in any, any situation possible, right? I’m talking about a podcast. You know, when I started my podcast, I wasn’t thinking about what it’s going to be like three years in the future, five years, right? Because I’m like, focusing on short term. So what I recommend is doing the thing you need to just for the day, and only thinking about that. For example, if you need to go to the gym, don’t worry about what muscle group you’re gonna hit tomorrow and the next week and how hard it might be. Just be like, Okay, I’m just gonna go today. And then from there, you’re like, tomorrow doesn’t matter. I’m just going today. I mean, the reality is tomorrow does matter. But yeah, you say this to yourself as a way to kind of discredit and make tomorrow seem easier. But then when tomorrow comes around, same thing, you’re like, Okay, when should I go to the gym? When should I do this thing? And again, it’s easier said than done, but that’s why I always preach this idea of start small. This has been one of the most life changing things in my life, this ability to recognize that I don’t have to start super high and try to build it up on the way there. And I don’t know if you’re familiar with Andrew Huberman, but even talks about this thing, it’s called a habit slip compensation. So what it is is people will, you know, be doing their habits and slip up one day, right? So, okay, you need to go to the gym five times this week. What will happen is people will go two times that week, and then on the third day they’ll miss out. So then on the fourth day, they’ll think to themselves, okay, well, I missed yesterday, so now I have to do two workouts in one day. And what ends up happening is there’s a whole graph you can search this up with, but the probability that you stay on that consistent pattern lowers, because the day that you do all this extra work becomes your baseline, and then the next day, you feel like you did so much the previous day that you don’t want to do anything anymore. And I’m gonna bring this back around to what I was talking about, for example, for the gym, even though that was my example, is the fact that when you’re doing it, start small rather than starting big, because if you start big, then you have to maintain that, and then if you do anything that’s lower than this big thing, right? For example, okay, I want to lift for two hours every day. Imagine you set that as your goal. It’s super high, and in my opinion, unachievable for people that are just starting. So you set this habit, and then the next day, you work out for an hour and a half, right? It’s lower than the two hours that you wanted. So then the next day, you’re like, Oh, well, I missed the 30 minutes yesterday, so I might as well do more today. And it creates this inconsistent pattern. If you start small, you only like, there’s no more going down if it’s the smallest thing. And then you slowly work your way up and you get used to a quote, unquote workload, or the amount that you need to lift in order to achieve your goal.

Sponsor  24:47

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Megan Porta  26:00

It’s like, James Clears whole, like, basis of his book, basically atomic habits, right, right, right? The whole like, he uses the gym analogy, too in his book, where some guy he knew just started going to the gym for like, five minutes. Wasn’t he sitting in the parking lot or something? I mean, he literally just went to sit in the parking lot and started there, because you can only go up from there. So then he did that until he walked into the building, and then he would, I don’t know, it was like something like a two minute workout, and then he would just keep building, because that way you don’t feel like you’re a loser. If you start big, you go in and you do this whole weight routine and cardio, and then the next day, you just work out for two minutes. You’re like, oh, well, I suck, right? And so I love that concept of building slowly over time, just so you can sustain it. 

Elan Gelfand  26:50

Totally. And this even goes back to the discipline, when I said creating the right environment, because half of the battle to working out is just showing up. And it’s so much, it’s so hard to think to think to yourself, Okay, I gotta drive to the gym, then I have to this thing that I don’t like, but, and I’ve done this for myself too in other contexts, but if you exactly what you’re talking about, actually, I don’t remember reading that part in the book, but that’s awesome. If you put yourself in that situation, it’s like, well, now are you just gonna go lift because you’re already here, or you’re gonna go home? And guess what? Some people might go home, but you put yourself in that situation, so it makes it easier to do the right thing. I think that’s a big basis of what I talk about, just this idea of putting yourself in the right position to do the right thing. If you block all your apps on Opal, you’re eliminating your chances of getting distracted by social media. So you’re putting yourself in a good situation to succeed in what you’re doing. If social media is the number one, you know, cause of your distraction? 

Megan Porta  27:44

Yeah, set yourself up for success. For me, it’s email. I have to close my email when I want to get stuff done. And I think it’s probably email, social media, I don’t know, family, a messy environment. Like, what are some other things that could hang people up? Do you think?

Elan Gelfand  28:00

Literally anything email, for sure, because email, I think there’s two different sides of an email, like, it’s the fact that you’re always going to get emails and the fact that you, I think emails make people feel more productive than they actually are, if that makes sense, and that’s nothing against you. But I even heard this really cool idea yesterday. I forgot who was from, but the guy, he said, when you’re going to be in your grave, you’re still going to have emails coming into your inbox, right? So he’s kind of saying, like they’re always going to be coming in, they’re always going to be a distraction. And although emails are very, very important, because you know, when you’re working that is kind of your main platform. I think a lot of people will tell themselves that they’re doing this thing that’s productive when it really isn’t. So a good question to ask yourself. And Chris Williamson, he has a podcast about mindset. He talks about this all the time. He says, What are the things that I know I should be doing but aren’t, and what are the things that I think are productive but aren’t? 

Megan Porta  29:00

Oh, that’s that’s really good. Yeah, I like that. I mean, we can get really deep with that, but I think totally, just like we’ve both kind of said, like not overthinking, not putting too much importance on things, like the emails are still going to be coming in after you die, when you go on vacation, they’re always going to be there. So, yeah, just to not overthink things like that, just shut it down and take it out of your periphery so you can actually get some work done. It’s not like we have to work all day. Just give yourself a little bit of time to focus and do that consistent thing over and over, right? How important do you think consistency is like? As far as discipline is really important, focus is really important. And consistency. Would you be able to order those? 

Elan Gelfand  29:47

Yeah, it’s an interesting order, because I think they’re different time frames, right? Like I was talking about. I think staying focused is very short term, but then it creates a longer term. So staying focused turns into consistent. See, in a way, if you keep doing it over and over and then the consistency leads to discipline. However, if I am to rank them, I think before I would think discipline is the number one thing, but if you’re able to stay focused on something, I think that’s what creates a discipline. So I would say staying focused is the number one thing. And even Alex Hormozi talks about this. Not sure if you know Alex Hormozi is, but he says he’s a big business guy. He’s super smart, and I mean, easy for me to say, right? But he talks about this idea that your time and your focus is the thing that’s going to get you to where you want to go. He says you could be the smartest guy in the world, but if you don’t put your time into the right things and the things that are going to benefit you, you won’t get anywhere. So I’m gonna say staying focused would be number one, and then consistency would be number two, and discipline number three. And that’s not to say discipline is not important. I’m just saying in this chart, because when you’re staying focused for long periods of time, you’re becoming consistent. So you know, consistency and discipline can’t be the most important, because they’re the product of staying focused.

Megan Porta  31:01

Ooh, yeah, that’s really good. And how many people do you know? I know so many people who are so smart, they have so much to offer. They have great ideas. They are just filled with potential and awesomeness. But then they lack some of these key things, and they don’t take forward act, they don’t take action, they don’t move in a forward direction, and it’s so hard to watch that, do you know what I’m talking about?

Elan Gelfand  31:26

Totally, and even one of my best friends, he’s a little bit like this. And it is very difficult, because you can only, you know, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink, right? You could only push this person far enough to the point where it’s like, okay, it’s now it’s up to you, right? You can’t hold their hand the entire way, and you can help them think about things differently. You can tell them about possibilities, maybe what to get into, how to do this thing. But at the end of the day, it’s up to them, and that’s why I talk about staying focused discipline all the time, because that’s what separates a person who is very smart and has a lot of potential to the person who actually gets that success and achieves those big heights. 

Megan Porta  32:10

Yeah, so deep. One last thing I want to talk to you about is judgment, because I know in our space there’s a lot of competition. We worry about what people are thinking what other people are doing, and that can really affect the trajectory of our business and our mindset. So what are your thoughts on that. 

Elan Gelfand  32:28

I’m so happy you asked that I love the topic of judgment so much I could just keep talking about it. Am I allowed to swear? 

Megan Porta  32:34

Sure, go for it. 

Elan Gelfand  32:35

So there’s a quote Chris Williamson says it. It goes like this. It says you don’t get shit on from above. And what it means is people who are doing better than you don’t have time to think about you or scrutinize you for the things that you’re doing. Now, how could this apply? A lot of times we’re so worried about what people think, and you’re actually gonna really like my quote when I share it, but a lot of times we’re so worried about what people think when, first of all, it’s not there, but if somebody is judging you, you can be almost certain that they’re not doing better than you. Because I know, for me personally, and I’m very adamant about this, when I have people around me that are trying to do something for themselves, and might be getting into a field that I know or I’m familiar with, or even, you know, I talk a lot about mindset, so I like to think that I’m able to help my friends and people around me kind of think about things differently. So when people are under me and trying to get to the point where I’m at not to, you know, pedestalize me at all. But I’m just saying like I’ve spent more time in this area, so I feel like I know I know a little bit more, right? So as humbly as possible, and my friends might be just starting in this thing, and they might not be too sure of themselves, so I will help them, the people that are doing not the people who don’t have as much experience as me and they’re not doing as well as me. I am more than happy to help. And I always find myself in a situation that like, Hey, if you need help, let me know. The amount of people around me that have started a podcast or have tried to start podcasts, is crazy, and I am always trying to help them out. Now, the execution isn’t always there, the consistency isn’t either. Like these people don’t always hold up to their goals and their values, but nonetheless, I am so willing to help them, because I know what it’s like to start and not have anybody there that I want to speed up the process for them. Now, somebody on the other side right who sees somebody’s doing good for themselves. And he says, Oh, dude, you’re gonna, you’re gonna do a podcast like, what are you? What are you talking about? Those people are never doing better than you, because, you know, they’re envious of you, and they’re always looking at the things you’re doing. I remember when I first started my podcast, this one guy, he said, uh, I told him I have a podcast. And he said, you have a podcast. What are you 50 years old? And I remember thinking about that, yeah. And I remember thinking about that, and I was like, I was like, you know, it kind of hurt, because it’s like, you know, I’m putting in so much work, and I’m putting in all this effort, and for this person who doesn’t even know anything about me to say that, it’s kind of offensive. 

Elan Gelfand  34:54

So I remember thinking about that and being like, Wait, this person, not only does he know nothing about. Out me, but he’s not he’s not doing good for himself. He’s not a happy person. And it’s actually gotten me to the point where, when people judge me, I genuinely feel bad for them. Yeah, I look at them and I’m like, wow, what is this guy going through in his life for him to want to put me down and put me in this situation? And that’s something that I personally never understand, because I’m always so adamant about helping people and making sure that, hey, if I can even throw in a little pointer there, I’ll do it, even if I don’t know the person right, I’ll be like, hey, that’s really cool that you’re doing that. Can I recommend something? Right? I’m not going to go to them and be like, Dude, why are you starting that thing? And it’s interesting, because I feel like I’ve made so many more friendships by just being open to help people rather than looking at it and be like, Dude, why? Why are you doing that thing? Right? So that’s my favorite quote ever. You don’t get shit on from above, and that’s the number one thing I think of on my podcast, I talk about something that I refer to as defenses. So when I’m put in a situation, the second somebody makes fun of me, I instantly think of that quote, and it completely disarms any any emotions I have, because I remember I used to be so, so scared of what people think. And I would walk around and be like, Oh my god, what is it like this? This person knows he’d think it’s weird that I’m doing this podcast or the things I’m talking about, but now I’m in a situation where I know the second somebody makes fun of me, I’m like, dang, you know, I kind of feel bad for that guy. 

Megan Porta  36:24

Yeah, that’s such a good perspective. I love that quote and just the meaning behind it, and the stupid judgment that person made to you. Like, first of all, what’s wrong with being 50 and like, What a stupid thing to say. People say the weirdest, dumbest things when they are jealous or envious or hurt, right? Like, okay, so what if I was 50? Like, what is that supposed to hurt me? But yeah, just recognizing that people are coming from a place of insecurity, probably, and I love your perspective of just being kind of like sad for them. Like, what? What could they be going through or sympathetic? I should say, like, what are they going through to make them feel like they need to be jealous or or say weird things to me, I think we can all relate to that. So I just love your perspective. It’s a great one.

Elan Gelfand  37:15

And also, you know, people like, I kind of think about the fact that, like, let people let me live my life and I’ll let you live yours. Don’t worry about me, right? People are so kind of like and I get kind of passionate about this too, because I remember going through all this stuff, and it’s like, it’s so hard and it’s hurtful when you’re doing doing all these things and putting in so much time and effort just for people to make fun of you. But I think the threshold that I passed is just this idea that the people that are saying these hurtful things are not happy themselves. It’s like, why would you ever say that? Right? And also, it’s funny you say, Yeah. First of all, what’s wrong with being 50? But also, you know, when people try to apply themselves, people make fun of it because it might not be something. Not be something that everybody’s doing. You know, I don’t know that many people have a podcast, but I bet you, if I did something that was more popular with people, I would have people’s approval, but I wouldn’t have mine. But this way, when I do a podcast something that I really want to do, it’s the other way around. I have my approval, but I might not have everybody else’s but me having my approval will be infinitely times more important than having other people’s because I’m with other people 1% of the time, but I’m with myself 99% so I would rather know internally that I do this thing that I’m proud of, and then every now and then, have to deal with this idea that, Oh, people might not approve of the things that I do, compared to me having to wake up and thinking, Oh, I’m doing I’m doing something for other people and trying to impress someone. I don’t want to do that thing to begin with.

Megan Porta  38:50

Yeah, yeah, that’s really good. You need to make yourself happy and find your own way. And pleasing others is definitely not that way. Do you ever come across the judgment that’s more subtle. Like I get this feeling like I’m pretty intuitive, I think with people and I get this feeling sometimes it’s not something anyone says to me, it’s just a feeling like they are coming from a lesser place. And your quote applies here too. Just like I don’t feel like they’re high achievers, high quality people. Do you know what I mean? And I try to stay away from that as well, but it’s more of an unspoken thing that I can just feel. Do you ever get that?

Elan Gelfand  39:32

Totally. And if I’m understanding you correctly, are you just saying people being passive aggressive, like kind of like poking at you?

Megan Porta  39:38

Passive about it, not necessarily poking, but just a feeling like I sometimes feel like people don’t want anything to do with me, or they don’t like me. You know you, you know when somebody doesn’t like you, and just that feeling like there’s no reason why this person shouldn’t like me. So I try to stay away from that vibe. If that makes sense.

Elan Gelfand  39:58

Totally I think that’s awesome. I’m very happy for you that you do that, because a lot of people wouldn’t do that, and they’re think, oh, you know, this person’s around me. I have somebody, and just because she’s making fun of me, it’s okay. I’ll deal with it. But I have definitely experienced this before, and the thing that I do, I don’t know if you’d consider it extreme, but I just don’t hang around those people. And it’s the best thing ever, because when you are able to surround yourself with people who are like you, and you actually feel safe with you’re able to collaborate on things together, talk freely about the thing that you’re doing. Because I’ve had friends that I’ve talked about things I’m passionate with, and you can tell they’re like, Okay, like, I guess that’s I guess that’s cool. You know what? I mean? Yeah, yeah. And so I would say limiting the amount of time you spent with those people. And you know, if you want to be extreme about it, you can cut them off, but I know, even for myself, like I can’t always do that. If I know that I’m always gonna be around this person. So just limiting the interactions I have with them, and knowing, okay, when I talk to this person, this is what they’re gonna say, this is what they’re gonna do. And again, feeling kind of bad for them, because I think the people that lash out at you and they’re just like, Oh, that’s so stupid. What you’re doing is one thing, but when people are passive about it, and it’s like exactly what you said, you have this feeling, this intuition that they’re poking at you, that’s when it’s like, okay, they want to be slick about it and give you the impression that, okay, they don’t approve this thing, but they’re not going to directly say to your face, because they know that you’re gonna have a problem with it. 

Megan Porta  41:24

Yeah, that is exactly it. It’s like that whole concept of when you walk into a room and you want people to look excited, to see you, and to be receptive, like with body language and all of that, I love that feeling when I come into a room my my boys, my husband, I know they want me to be there, just by the way they’re looking at me. So when you go into a room and you just have that feeling like people don’t want you there for whatever their reason is, you don’t want to be there, and you shouldn’t have to put yourself there. So that’s kind of yeah, like what I’m getting at I’m at this point in my life. I am almost 50, so your friend can make fun of me, I just feel like I don’t need to put up with that. I want to feel loved and valued, and I think everyone should hold those standards for themselves.

Elan Gelfand  42:14

Totally. And I think, I think Alex Hermozi also said this, but he said, The older you get, the less you care about people, and the less you just care about things that used to be, you know, such minuscule details about a why you could be upset about something. You know, as a teenager, you always want to fit in. You always want to do this thing. But you know, my grandparents, for example, they’re wearing $10 shoes they found at some store. They love it because it’s comfy. They don’t care what other people think about it, because they like it themselves. You know what I mean? 

Megan Porta  42:44

Yeah, exactly. Yep, that’s all that matters. And don’t you love it when people are like that too? It’s so refreshing. I have a 17 year old, and he’s just one of those people who really doesn’t give a crap about what people think. He goes to school in these outfits. I’m just like, Okay, well, if you’re if you’re cool with that, but I love it. I think that it’s so cool, especially for younger people, just to embrace kind of who they are and to not really care what other people think. So refreshing.Yeah, so cool. Okay. And then last topic, we can just give this a couple minutes passion. Food bloggers usually get into food blogging because of a passion for cooking and baking and like what we actually do in the kitchen, but over time, we seem to maybe lose it because of the business parts of, you know, our pieces of our business. So how do we get back in touch with passion? 

Elan Gelfand  43:41

Yeah, 100% I would say for passion. Because a lot of people struggle to find passion. It’s just trying a bunch of different things. In short, I can go into it, you know, a huge explanation, but I’m not going to. So if you’ve already found your passion, I would say going along the same topic, it’s even trying new things within your passion, right? Sometimes your passion might get a little bit dulled out, or maybe a little bit boring, because you’re doing the same thing over and over and over and over again. So why not try to tweak something, you know, a little detail, maybe something you’re blogging about, a different type of food, or a different maybe even collaborating with somebody else, just trying something else that might work for yourself. And I’m not saying it’s going to work 100% of time, but if you try different things, I am willing to bet that there will be something that you’ll find more passion towards. I know for my podcast, even there have been times where it’s gone to a point where I’ll think to myself, it’s getting kind of tough. I remember how much I used to love doing this thing, and then I’ll try something else. Maybe I’ll use a new software to edit or I’ll think of an episode idea that I’m very passionate about, and this spark that was slowly, or not slowly, just very lightly dimmed, has now sparked up and became this new light bulb, and it restarts the process. And what I would say to people is. Is, I think there’s a notion that passion runs out. Right? If you do the same thing, it’s It’s inevitable. But I disagree, and I think that you can do the same thing over and over again and maybe get a little bit bored of it, but if you switch it up and try new things within your industry, you will find something that makes you like, re excited again.

Megan Porta  45:22

Yeah, no, that is so true, because there’s, there’s so many different aspects of our business, and I can get reignited with passion just from something I’m not expecting. Like, sometimes keyword research, like, Who would think that? But it makes Right, right? Like, ooh, this is really fun. And, yeah, there are so many different ways to find that passion. So I like that. It doesn’t have to be the original thing that got you started. It can be really anything.

Elan Gelfand  45:47

Right. And one more thing I’m going to say is there are going to be some parts that are boring. I know, even for myself, I’ve created a couple websites before, the SEO, the research for words, man, that is not for me, but I think it’s a reminder to be grateful for the times that you do have that spark, right? So the times when you’re enjoying yourself a lot are the times that you should be thinking yourself, wow, this is awesome. I’m having a great time. And then the bad times are a reminder that the good times are to come soon. 

Megan Porta  46:19

Oh, yeah. Oh, that’s really good. I like that. Wow. Elon, this has been a fun, deep conversation. I feel like we could keep going, but I should probably wrap things up, discipline, focus, consistency, judgment, passion. I think these are all things that we should be giving thought to and having conversations about, right, just like with trusted peers, like, how can I increase my focus? Or how can I be more consistent? I think it’s really worthwhile to give these topics some attention. 

Elan Gelfand  46:48

I completely agree. 

Megan Porta  46:49

Thank you for everything we so appreciate you joining us today. Do you have a favorite quote you said you were a quote guy, or words of inspiration to leave us with?

Elan Gelfand  46:57

We all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.

Megan Porta  47:03

Oh yeah,

Elan Gelfand  47:05

I love it. That’s not my favorite quotes. 

Megan Porta  47:06

That’s, yeah, that’s great, super awesome. We will put together a show notes page for you. Elon, so if you want to go look at those head to eat, blog talk.com, forward, slash, Elong, that is spelled. Do you want to spell it for us and then tell people where they can find you, Elan?

Elan Gelfand  47:24

Sure, so my Instagram is actually spelled the same way. So it’s just my name. Elon, e l a n, dot, gel fan, G, E L F A N D. So in in short, or I guess just to spell it out, my Instagram is e l a n, dot, G, E, L, F, A, n, d, and the same thing for your show notes. That’s why I mentioned that. 

Megan Porta  47:44

Yeah. And then Abundant Thinking is your podcast, so everyone go check that out as well. And then I didn’t ask you, do you do mainly interviews, or do you do solo episodes, or both?

Elan Gelfand  47:53

So I do a good combination of both. The thing is, I record on so it’s on my YouTube, on Spotify, Apple podcasts, Audible, Pandora music and Amazon music. So on Spotify and YouTube, I’m able to do video. However, the majority, I would say, are solo, like, just me talking. And then there are a couple of guests that I throw on there that kind of have to do with, you know, topics of mindset, confidence, coaches, etc.

Megan Porta  48:19

Awesome. Everyone go check that out, and thanks again, Elan for being here, and thank you for listening food bloggers. I will see you next time. 

Outro  48:29

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Eat Blog Talk. If you are craving accountability, focus and connection at a low monthly cost, join the Eat Blog Talk accountability group @eatblogtalk.com/focus. I will see you next time you.